The morning began with a flurry of activity. As soon as I arrived in the common room, Sekvi rushed up to me with a plate of food and a shiny white robe, the former deposited in my hands and the latter unceremoniously tossed over my head. They offered a hurried explanation in their typically bubbly tone: they had cast their fortunes for the day and found that something bad was on its way. With their diplomacy talks on the back foot at the moment, they were certain it was to do with their representational council at the capital. The robe they just gave me was my own! After spending some time with it, I would be able to will it into any color I wished at any time. I thanked Sekvi and wished them good luck just in time for them to vanish amid a teleportation spell. I felt the silent openness of the common room expand away from me in all directions without Sekvi here. Something about being the only person present here felt lonely, almost cold. My food, by contrast, was warm: a stuffed breakfast roll smothered in sparkdrop syrup with a side of assorted fruit. The recipe I had been gifted was put to extraordinary use in this application, but as much of my attention as it grabbed, I couldn’t wait to try my robe on.
I felt lucky that I chose my green dress today, as that would be easier for me to pair colors with. The blue one was nice, but its shade was difficult to match properly. To be fair, I never learned any advanced color theory, and my understanding of such things was mostly down to the temperatures of the colors and how my eyes seemed to react to them. I felt that the outer layer was made of a water-resistant canvas material, and the inside consisted of something thinner and softer. It was very nice, and seemed to be suitable for travel with its sturdiness and utility. The clasp was shaped in what appeared to be a rose gold head of a dragon. Giving it a gentle inspection with my hands informed me that it was very well anchored to the garment; this inspired much confidence in the longevity of the material. A closer look of the rest of the travel cloak revealed that the back could be split into tails via a series of buttons. I could also open two buttons to let my tail comfortably drape out of the back for the purpose of aesthetics if I wanted to. It draped pleasantly over my bag and my holstered Spell Tome. How long had this taken to make? Had Sekvi commissioned this the day after they met me, or perhaps made it themselves? I wondered how much spare time they had for such endeavors, and resigned to heaping my praises upon them once they returned from their work. For now, I had errands to run: filing my merchant permit, taking a bath, and finding time to have lunch before organizing an escort to Lilika’s house.
First, however, was a stop at the smithy to see Keff off for his supply run. I wasn’t sure if it was what Sekvi had told me this morning ringing through my expectations for the day, but the air felt charged. My attention was constantly drawn upward into my surroundings while I walked; it felt as if something were about to happen. I decided that I’d keep my senses out today so that I could be ready in case something happened after all. Everything looked, smelled, and sounded normal to me, but I couldn’t tell if that raised or lowered my ambient levels of anxiety. I arrived at the smithy to see Keff and Betiara inspecting a stationary horse-drawn wagon. We spoke pleasantly to each other and though he didn’t say anything, Keff was happy to see me checking in on him during my rest day. A mental note was made to come visit him more often. I informed them both of Sekvi's sudden absence and they assured me that this was a typical affair for the wizard, and that they would likely be back by the early hours of the morning. This coincided with the end of the supply run if there were no problems. Betiara had pre-arranged a pair of guards to walk me to the foothills, which I found to be very thoughtful of her. We departed after the inspection of the wagon was complete. With that, it was off to town hall to see the treasurer's office.
Filing for a merchant's permit was as simple a process as Keff had described to me. They wanted my name, the nature of the business, a practical demonstration of my abilities, and a gold coin for the fee. Service tax was 2% per month, so I would be required to keep track of the services I provided. I immediately had the idea to keep a daily log sheet that customers would sign next to the amount they paid. Perfect! Checking back within a week should give me news of my application, which suited me well. Now that I could clean my own clothing with magic nearly instantaneously, I only had to spend one silver on a bath. Sekvi's gift meant that I didn't have to visit the tailor today, either. There were other patrons in the bath I was assigned to today, and I sat away from them for reasons of personal comfort and heeding Sekvi's advice of keeping my scales as clean and dry as possible. The looks I received were mostly ones of surprise that never dipped to the level of the water. Betiara's words were true, as well, and I was enormously grateful for that. I couldn't imagine how it would feel to escape the place I had come from only to experience a hate crime in a rural mountain town firmly squared in the 1400s.
"Hi, um, I'm here for the escort? I believe Betiara sent word." I felt nervous as I approached the guards within the barracks. Sure enough, two guards had been told that they would be taking me into the eastern foothills. Gesso and Tevta were their names, a human man and an elven woman, respectively. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Madison."
"You too," Gesso replied. He was still gathering his weaponry, a spear and a sword. I wondered how likely it would be that we would encounter danger that would require arms like that.
"Hey. Two miles East, to the foothills?" Tevta, in contrast, was ready to go, sipping a cup of tea.
"That's me, yeah. Thank you for being willing to do this for me. Do I owe you anything?"
"No, not at all, this is within our standard duties. Once Worrywart here gets the lead out we can head out." A grin sprouted over Tevta's face as she looked over to her partner.
"I need to do it right or I'll chafe. There's nothing wrong with being diligent." I had to say that I agreed with him. In any case, we were shortly underway after I shared a quick lunch with the two guards. We received a few looks on our way out of town; I understood. I definitely felt out of place, like I was being led somewhere by cops. These two weren't cops, due to Betiara's political structuring, but memories of the past would always be with me. It was something I was accustomed to wrestling within myself with the source of the terror further away. The three of us, however, walked as if we were anyone else. My wits and spells were about me in case something bad happened. This was it, my first time leaving Karthos Bend proper. I'd be within easy viewing distance of town, but it still felt monumental as I stepped past the final buildings along the 3rd Spoke. The eastern mountains were much closer to town than those opposite, so I didn't get to see the enormity of the valley until we were past the road's wooden bridge.
Karthos Valley had a bowl shape to it from this vantage point. The land was so flat and free from nearby tree cover that I could see far to the North. The tree line was visible in the distance, with the mountains framing the clear midday sky high above. This view was what cameras were made for. A central position within the valley looking North at this time of day be absolutely amazing. A small, distant town was visible on the horizon, a tiny presence in the vastness of the landscape around it, much like Karthos Bend from a distance. To the South lay a quick resumption of tree cover; I imagined the hardier woods to the North were harvested to build Karthos Bend and its neighbor, leaving the area just South of town relatively untouched. Deforestation was inevitable where settlements were located... it was a good thing the valley was flat and drained into a river that cut a few dozen feet lower than the rest of the area, or flooding would be a concern with all the rain. The river lazily flowed along with crystal clear water as we passed over it. I was not at all surprised that settlements had been built in a place like this in spite of the wind and rain that was present during most nights.
"So, you're new in town?" Gesso asked. He must have seen me marveling at my surroundings, judging by the entertained smile he wore. "How do you like it?"
"It seems like a nice place to live. People are very kind here."
"It is. Being a guard here is pretty boring, but that's a good thing. The jail hasn't been used in, what, two years?"
"Two or three. It's changed a lot according to the old-timers."
"How so?" I asked, unable to quell my curiosity.
"It was a pretty rough frontier town about 50 years ago. Miners, lumberers, farmers. Some of them are still a little rough, but a series of good majors had some progressive ideas, and things are pretty great now," Tevta explained.
"Yeah. Nearly everyone has work. They're working on the social pension plan that'll take care of everyone that can't, too, it's supposed to start next month."
"Betiara and Sekvi have done a lot, too."
"Yeah, they have," Gesso confirmed. "My parents moved up here from the desert to grow sparkdrop. It took some adjustment at first, but it's nice." I now recognized where I had seen Gesso before: he was the one that gave me the recipes at the farmer's market!
"You made a good choice, is what we're saying." I hoped that if it had indeed been a choice to come here, that I would have chosen as good a place to live as Karthos Bend.
"It seems like it. Where I come from, the guards are... less... uh..."
"Yeah. That's why Betiara left her hometown. What about you, Madison?"
"Yeah. I mean you can only live life so peacefully when you feel like you're being hunted." I immediately became concerned over my choice of words; the rest of the guard didn't know Betiara's secret. They didn't seem to react. I hope that meant my slip-up went over their heads.
"Yeah, we don't do that here," Tevta continued as she took notice of something ahead. "We have to live in this town, too. Our business is mostly what's outside of it."
"Tevta, up ah-"
"I saw. Probably here for work." I focused my attention forward to see a group of well-armed travelers walking toward town in formation. They looked grizzled, harried, tough.
"Who are they?"
"Mercenaries from further North. Bear herders, that kind of thing. They come to the valley when work dries up."
"They're a little rowdy, but they haven't caused any problems. I usually see them head West to the mines." The mercenaries offered us nods of their heads as they marched past us. I waved in return, which some of them met with appreciative smiles. One of the trailing men caught my eye: a gleaming white dragonborn! He didn't pay me any more mind than the others did, but it was amazing to see another person like me for the first time. His snout tapered into a ridged reptilian shape instead of a beak. I had to remind myself not to stare, even out of curiosity or appreciation. Our journey East passed in a flash after that moment, with idle chat dying down as the early afternoon sent winds tumbling down the valley. As cold as it was, my new cloak broke much of the chilling effect that came my way. Being a wizard was paying for itself all over again. A small plume of smoke rising from the trees ahead told me that we had almost reached our destination. The road ahead disappeared into a blanket of woods that rose up over the mountains and eventually wound up and through a low break in the peaks. I was less than two miles from Karthos Bend, and I already felt like I was in another part of the world.
Lilika was outside when we arrived, tending to some plants of hers within a covered enclosure. Her home was simple, an aged log cabin that wore a healthy coating of moss, with a pair of out buildings built into the earth behind it. Tall deciduous trees surrounded the property to easily hide it from those that didn't pay attention from the road. Gesso and Tevta bid their farewells after Lilika assured me that she would escort me back to town herself. A bark from within the house preluded a braided bundle of gray fur tumbling into me. "Aw, hey buddy, it's good to see you too. How are you?" He answered with a bark, and I couldn't help but laugh. "That's great! I'm good, too."
"I didn't expect you to come by so soon! Here, come see my plants." I wasn't going to refuse a chance to learn about local flora, and carefully navigated the damp, squishy ground between the trees to approach Lilika's covered garden. "I grow wild vegetables here. These are grollos, tetalas, and this is a kerva. Look at the size of it! It's the biggest one I've ever grown."
"It's enormous," I echoed, not at all party to the typical size of a kerva. Each plant was similar to a plant I had seen on Earth: grollos reminded me of yellow potatoes, tetalas looked to be bulbed wild onions of some kind, and once dirt had been brushed away from it, I identified the leafy head of the kerva to be reminiscent of a red-purple carrot. Staple foods were staple foods no matter the world. "This is a nice garden you have here, Lilika. Do you preserve any of these?"
"Every year! Not all of them, of course, but some. The cold season lasts another month or so, so that's the last I'll be doing until the torberries bloom. I have a shed out back where I tend to the mushrooms; it all keeps me nice and busy. You're only as old as you feel, Madison, remember that." Lilika had a pleasant way about her. I took a cautionary look around the tree line, but I didn't notice anything odd. I was a way away from help here. It felt terrible, but blind trust wasn't going to keep me alive nearly as long as my gut could. My gut was currently telling me nothing of note.
"I will. It's important to stay busy."
"As I'm sure you know, working at the smithy. The new wall's going to keep you and Keff going for a while, huh? That's good work, good work."
"It's nice, yeah. He's been very good to me, and it's -- like you said -- great to stay active."
"And you're keeping your mind active with magic, aren't you?" Lilika covered the exposed kerva once more, giving it a pat with gentle hands. I could tell she had been living out here for some time.
"I am! I actually finished my training last night. I'm a wizard now," I said more gently than I'd meant to. I didn't want to get a big head about it.
"That's amazing, and it explains the fancy cloak."
"How'd you know?"
"It was white when you got here, now it's green and brown." I blinked and looked down, holding the right side out to take a look. Sure enough, the outside was a gentle shade of green that matched my dress, and the brown of the inside pleasantly complimented both my clothing and the surrounding forest. I hadn't noticed wanting to change its colors. Had I simply been distracted, or had the cloak changed its own colors? "Now you said that too quietly, sweetie. We're not in court, you can be excited here. I want to hear you shout out your accomplishment for all the trees to hear!"
"Haha." I didn't know what to say. Lilika was serious, beaming up at me with an expectant expression. "Oh. Um, okay. I'm, a wizard!"
"Oh, come on, you can do better than that. Put some heart into it! You earned this! Be excited!" Her soft voice could bark volume far louder than I had expected. I jumped in surprise at her enthusiasm. This was entirely outside of my usual fare, being as soft-spoken as I was. Calling attention to myself was something I avoided whenever reasonably possible.
"Okay, um... alright. Ahem." I cleared my throat and stepped back, gathering myself in preparation to look very silly as I tossed my fists into the air and shouted, "I'm a wizard!!" This effort earned enthusiastic clapping from my acquaintance, and we shared a laugh.
"Yes! That's more like it, I love the fire! I can tell it lives somewhere in there; you're a dragonborn, aren't you?"
"I hope so, or else I might have humanity's most peculiar genetic mutation." This earned another laugh for us both, and Rags joined in with a bark. It seemed that he was enjoying the excitement as much as Lilika was. I had to admit it felt good to me, too.
"Oh, hang on, where's your staff? Every wizard has a staff."
"They do?" I hadn't been told that I had to have a staff, but I imagined I would look very official if I'd had one. "Sekvi doesn't have a staff."
"They're a Seer, they don't need one," Lilika chuckled as if nothing in the world were more obvious. "What kind of magic do you do, then, Madison the wizard?"
"Mostly Abjuration for practicality's sake, but I have a very deep interest in Transmutation. I feel like it speaks to me, you know?"
"Is that so?" An appraising look came over Lilika. Her deep brown eyes were searching for something in me. "Druids have some inherent knowledge of that. Transmutation is change, like the seasons, like the weather, like the form we take. Do you know anything about that?"
"Not about druids, but that's, really interesting. Can you tell me more about that?"
"Let's go in for some tea. I have a story for you, for your ears only." Lilika ushered Rags and I inside. Her house wasn't terribly large, but it was comfortable. The moss kept moisture from dripping into the house, so it was pleasantly dry. A fire in the nearby fireplace kept the temperature at an even keel on par with any building I'd entered in town. Rags saw fit to stretch himself out before the fire, and I was provided a chair to sit in while Lilika busied herself with assembling herbs she could steep. "Oh, do you have any food allergies?"
"Um, just peanuts, as far as I know. Thank you."
"Peanuts?"
"They're, um, little brown nuts that grow in the shape of... like a rounded hourglass. You crack the shell open and there's little tan nuts in there. Very healthy." I lowered my hood and used my hands to illustrate the shape more clearly.
"Well, there aren't any nuts in these teas, so you should be fine! Peanuts must grow down South; it may be too cold for them here."
"I think so, yeah. So, um, Transmutation, right?"
"Right, right, yes. Thank you, sweetie, my mind wanders sometimes." Lilika turned to face me, clasped her hands, and her form twisted into that of a black bird before my eyes. My mouth fell open as the bird fluttered onto the table. She ruffled her feathers and loosed a playful squawk in my direction.
"Holy shit!" Lilika squawked again. I glanced over at Rags, but he hadn't stirred whatsoever. This must have been a regular occurrence that he was no longer surprised by.
"Holy shit," I heard echoed back at me in my own voice. A strange series of neck movements accompanied the sound; how was she doing that? A closer look told me that Lilika was currently in a shape akin to a raven or a crow. I had heard they were very intelligent birds that could mimic various sounds.
"That's... amazing. How many times can you do that in a day?"
"A day? A day?" Did that mean twice? That was even more impressive; the amount of magic Lilika had to channel to do this had to be immense. I wondered how long she had studied what I imagined to be druidry before she was able to accomplish this.
"Do you think I could learn to do that?"
"You, do that, I, think." This might have been the most amazing thing I had ever witnessed in my life. Turning into an animal had to be very useful for accomplishing all kinds of tasks. Reconnaissance, blending in, hunting if one was inclined for such things, even participating in battle. Lilika's transformation didn't seem to hurt her any more than I had. It was now that I realized that I had neglected to question my change in shape during my discussion with Sekvi last night. In their defense, the discussion had gotten a bit heavy, and there were other matters on our mind both personal and scientific.
"I hope so. That's so cool. I didn't expect there to be overlap between Primal and Arcane magic like that." This statement was met with Lilika fluttering back into the air and returning to her previous, human shape. I felt a cold sting somewhere deep within as I watched this happen.
"Woo! Oh, magic is magic. People come to the same conclusions in life through all kinds of means, sweetie. If you learned to do this, you'd probably learn it through... formulas and numbers and assignments. I learned this from nature. You were taught by another wizard, I was taught by the trees, the mountains, the sky, and the river. And my husband, rest him." Lilika said that so casually. I had scarcely heard people speak of those dead in such light heart unless there was ill will between them, which didn't seem to be the case here.
"I'm, sorry for your loss," I offered, unsure of what else to say. This prompted a chuckle from the druid as she placed two cups of tea on the table.
"He's not dead. He's... wild," She began, choosing her words carefully. Her brow furrowed a bit as she watched my reaction to this statement. "Have you ever known someone that had a... a vision of themself on the inside that was so different from the outside?"
"...I have," I said quietly. Could she tell? She seemed relieved by my answer.
"He was a bear. I always knew it. We knew early on that once we spent enough time out here that he would want to live as himself in the truest way he could. So, he, was a bear." That was not what I expected to hear. I had heard of people like that during my time on the Internet. There was some back and forth among the transgender community over whether such people could understand us, or made a mockery of us. I had always felt that it wasn't my business to judge an experience I didn't have or understand. To turn into a bear and live as one, permanently... the thought stunned me to my core. The love Lilika must have long held for her husband made her seem so much larger to me. I should have known someone like her, with eyes like hers, held some amazing stories within.
"Did... something happen to him, or is he still out there?"
"He may be living as a bear, but he still comes around to taste my cooking sometimes," Lilika said with a grin of pride. "I'm glad I took a chance on you. You have a good heart. I thought you might understand."
"It's an amazing thing to think about. Is he happy as a bear?"
"The happiest I've ever seen him. Without a doubt. He teaches them to be wary of the people, but that we don't mean any harm. Bear attacks have entirely disappeared from the area in the last decade; you can thank him for that and the rest of the bears for listening to him!" I had fallen into such an amazing world that I didn't have words to describe it. A cautious hope bloomed within me of meeting someone like Lilika's husband.
"What's his name?"
"No, no. He gave that up. Bears don't have names."
"He's so dedicated."
"He is. Always was. Anyway, you need a staff. I'm guessing that pouch on your hip is full of spell components?" Lilika had a very keen eye. I hadn't thought she would have gotten a chance to see it under my cloak.
"That's right. It's to tie me over until I can save money with an-"
"Arcane focus. Mhm. Druids have foci, too. Well, what's stopping you from having one, wizard?"
"Sekvi told me they're having trouble sourcing gemstones."
"Then let's go find one, and some wood. We'll make you a staff, my treat. Rags?" The enormous dire dog lumbered to his feet and nudged me with his head along his way to the front door. "Don't protest, sweetie, I know you want to, but let me tell you something: it's a rare person that would understand my husband. That deserves a staff if anyone ever did." I was at a complete loss for words. After recovering from this moment and deciding that there was no point in arguing over someone doing something so kind for me, I rose to the occasion. Lilika was already out the door, but I hesitated. The fire was still burning.
"Should we put that out?"
"It'll be fine. We'll be out here for a while; best to come back to a warm house!" I vehemently disagreed, yet I kept the thought to myself. Lilika could handle herself out here. I put my hood up and closed the door behind me, hurrying forward to join her and Rags as we walked out to the foothills. She told me that quartz -- that was, surprisingly so, the translation the necklace had given me -- was plentiful in the old magma tubes of the mountains. Any bears we encountered were assured to give us a wide berth. The only one I saw along the way did just that. Trudging up the foothills was quickly tiring me out, but Lilika had no such troubles, and was always willing to offer me an encouraging hand. We found a magma tube within the hour. While I could somewhat see in an underground environment, my druidic chaperone could not, and thus held a ball of fire above an outstretched palm to light our way into the cave. Rags remained relaxed in his diligent accompaniment. I quickly discovered that my footwear was better suited for town environments than the rugged terrain of the mountains, and decided that I would get myself a well-made set of travel boots upon my return to Karthos Bend.
The cave was treacherous to navigate with ample moisture keeping the rocks perpetually slick and rounded. A light breeze flowed toward us from deep within, which Lilika assured me meant there was good air flow coming from another exit in case of a cave-in. I dearly wished she hadn't mentioned that possibility, and a glance over my shoulder had the light of day vanishing around the curve we had turned. A stream of water trickled past our path on the left side, and over time, it had carved a small rut into the floor of the cave. I noticed that it was filled with grains of finely ground stone, akin to sand. "We'll need to go in a ways. If you need to stop, let me know," Lilika whispered. I wasn't sure why she was whispering. Were there creatures within the mountains that wouldn't take kindly to our presence? Could vibrations cause a cave-in if we weren't careful?
"Why are we so quiet?"
"There's no need to be louder," she explained, her attention focused forward. It was an anticlimactic answer. I supposed it was a good thing, given the alternatives. We arrived in a great open chamber after around half an hour of walking. "Here we are. We'll find quartz in here. Rags, help me out, boy." He did as instructed. I decided to stay close to Lilika in case something happened. It was quiet in here apart from the echoing sounds of dripping water all around me. I looked back the way we had come and saw that the way the cave was shaped was unique to all of the entrances to this chamber; the way back was easy to identify. We had an escape route. An electric humming feeling suffused my chest, and I knew I was afraid of this place. Lilika, by contrast, was quietly having a field day muttering to herself about all the various rocks she was finding. I would feel so much safer in sharing her excitement if we weren't inside a giant cave with bears and who knew what else around. Cave-ins... the rock here seemed sturdy, but caves were enormously dangerous. I wasn't even wearing proper clothing for this kind of excursion. As much as I enjoyed the new experience and all the curiosities it afforded, I was eager to return to the cabin.
"All these wonderful igneous rocks and not a bit of quartz yet."
"Goose egg over here." We searched for what felt like two hours before a glint in the stream caught my eye. There was something among the sand... it was clear, but reflected the light from Lilika's flame differently than the water. "Hey, check this out." I cautiously removed my gloves and placed my hands in the freezing water, immediately recoiling to shake it off of me.
"Let me, sweetie," said the druid. I stood aside and let her handle the retrieval. As she pulled on the stone, the sand around it moved away to reveal a hunk quartz, and not just a hunk, but a hunkberg of hidden rock underneath the sand. "Oho! Arms around me, help me pull this out." I felt unsure about touching a relative stranger so closely, so I told myself it would be as if I was giving her a hug. That eased my anxiety enough to let us both tug on the buried stone. It took several heaves, but we managed to free it from a larger piece of rock that it was attached to. The stone was huge, around the size of my palm, offset slightly with some jagged, broken edges at the bottom. oops. The top half was resplendent and perfectly clear in contrast with the cloudy bottom half.
"Is this enough?"
"It's magnificent. Come on, let's go home." The journey out of the cave felt much quicker than it had been on the way in. My heart hadn't stopped pounding the entire time we were under the mountain; a second's reaction to a cave-in could have been the difference between life and death. I was grateful that the mountain was stable. A sigh condensed into the air as we left the cave. Night was about to fall, and it was getting very cold up here. A forest was more open than a cave, and had no chance of collapsing, but it held other dangers. I occasionally caught the reflections of curious eyes as we walked. Telling myself that they were probably just deer was only so comforting. The calls of birds returning North for the beginning of Spring spooked me several times; the most wilderness exploration I had done was within state parks, and I had only done that a handful of times during the day. Night was a whole different animal. Lilika didn't seem to be the slightest bit worried. I stayed close to her while we moved under the shadow of the western mountains.
"Hohh my god," I breathed as I saw that the cabin had indeed been fine while we had been gone longer than expected. I hurried to the door and stood with my shoulder against the front wall. "I see why you want company out here."
"I'm used to it by now. Sweetie you're shaking like Rags after a bath, go warm up. I'll find some good wood for your staff." Contesting this invitation did not even occur to me. I stepped inside and closed the door behind me, alone inside the cabin. The sounds of footsteps receded. The fire had grown low since we'd been away, so I fed it fresh firewood from a nearby rack and stoked it back to life. Crackles of wood began to fill the room as I decided to see what all the hubbub of a fireside rest was all about. I found that it was warm, and fished my tail out of my cloak to rest it over my lap. My cut had healed nicely. Avoiding infection had been a stroke of good fortune for me. I hoped Sekvi's assertion that the regular use of magic bolstered one's immune system was correct; there was no telling what kind of suffering I would undergo from the local illnesses that I could catch at any moment. Feeling cold in this reptilian body was entirely different from feeling it as a human. It made me feel slow, and it felt as if it sunk far deeper than skin level. I wondered if I would survive the next Winter in Karthos Bend if I were still around by that time.
I started to get an uneasy feeling as I saw daylight end outside the house. That feeling I had this morning, the feeling of something about to happen, came and went once more. What was that about? I hoped everyone was okay. It wasn't something I felt in my gut, but in my head. The feeling receded again, but it left me disquieted. It had happened twice now. What was that about? Was Lilika going to do something to me? Was I going to become bear or dire dog chow? Had Lilika's kindness all been a ploy to get me alone and isolated in her cabin where she could... I didn't know what she could do. That was the scariest part. It wasn't much longer before a flicker of fire light peeked into view from the window: she was back. I had to know, but I couldn't just ask her, could I? If this all really were genuine, she would probably feel hurt. I didn't want to do that to her. As the door opened, Bear trundled inside and collapsed next to me, as eager as I was to soak up the warmth of the fire. Lilika closed the door and propped a long stick with a split at the end against the inner wall of the house. Our eyes met. "I got your staff! ...what's wrong, sweetie?"
"Uh..." I froze. She knew I wasn't okay. If I lied, I felt she would notice. If I told the truth, things could go badly. Fuck it, what choice did I have if I needed certainty? Worst case scenario, I had to brave the forest by myself. I didn't like that idea. "I'm, out here all alone with you. It's dark and cold. People... know where I am, but... you're not..." I hated every moment of this. "Going to do anything to me, are you?"
"What, more than feed you and give you a bed and a staff?" I immediately felt terrible. Lilika laughed and began taking her coat off. "No, I'm not going to hurt you. I could have left you back at that cave and no one would ever find you again, couldn't I have?" Now I felt stupid.
"I'm sorry."
"It's good to keep your wits about you, Madison. Now... what's got you so afraid?"
"Left over anxiety from the cave and the woods? I don't know. I've had a weird feeling today, too, like something's going to happen, but it hasn't happened yet." Lilika's expression, already soft, softened further.
"Come sit here and we'll shave this wood down. Get it sanded and sealed with oil, and put that quartz of yours at the top." I did so, simultaneously full of every bad feeling I could possibly feel. "I can tell things haven't always been easy for you, sweetie."
"Yeah. I try not to... linger, but it's all stuck to me." My hands sat around the now cold tea that I had forgotten to drink earlier. I decided to drink it now, and it was better than I expected. Lilika's offer to warm it back up was declined.
"No problem. Yes. That's trauma. I know it's not personal." She handed the staff over to me alongside a small wood planer. I examined the staff. It was still relatively fresh wood, and nearly as tall as I was. The bark was dark, but what lay beneath was lighter. It was also free of insect damage, from what I could see, and light without being too light to balance the quartz well. Lilika really had found the great makings of a new staff.
"It's not fun. I feel bad for doubting you."
"If you were feeling fear, you probably had a good reason. What is your gut telling you right now?"
"...hungry."
"Oh! Right! You work on that, I'll get, hmm, I'll make some bread and warm up some pickled vegetables to go with it. How's that?"
"Fantastic, yeah. Thank you, Lilika, I hope I'm not intruding."
"No, we just got a little behind looking for that quartz, is all. Staying over is no problem at all." Lilika didn't mind wandering the forest with Rags at night, but she knew I was having emotional difficulty and that the cold could present a very real danger to my cold-blooded dragonborn body. She really did care, and she really was lonely. I began to work on my staff while she prepared a loaf of bread from a sourdough starter. It had lasted her 40 years, which was nearly as long as she had been alive. I felt a strange sense of normalcy while I sat at the kitchen table and worked on what was essentially my homework while Lilika made supper. It called forth a longing for memories I never got to form. I wasn't going to let that happen. That was probably some kind of unhealthy entanglement, and Lilika deserved better than that. I had the wood shaved bare by the time the dough was set to rise. We worked on rounding it off with sandpaper in the meantime, then while it was baking, the wood was given a deep stain, which the light wood took well enough. Swirling shapes came into view as it cured by the fire.
"This is really good! You said these were tetalas?"
"That's right. They get nice and mild in the brine, and that lets them go with anything." Lilika ate slowly, her eyes kept low as if she had something on her mind. "You don't have to pretend you're fine for me, sweetie, do you trust that?"
"I... do."
"That means the world to me. Is there anything you need to talk about? I'm no stranger to guiding people through tough times."
"There's a lot, I guess, but it's all kind of... stuck together. And I think I'm tired. Ordinarily I think I would but, okay, um." I sat up a bit and settled myself into the chair more comfortably. "I feel extremely guilty for earlier."
"Why is that?" I watched Lilika dab her bread in the brine of the pickled vegetables, and decided to do the same. That seemed to be the ideal way to eat this meal; it was surprising what an onion, or rather an onion-like vegetable, could accomplish on a plate.
"Well I mean, you're out here by yourself, I imagine people probably don't look well on that. I'm new here so I don't know that for sure, but I've spent enough time around people."
"Oh, that doesn't bother me. I'm happy here, I could just use some conversation from time to time."
"Does it ever feel bad? To know that people will judge you without getting close enough to see clearly?"
"Not for long enough to hurt me, Madison. People can think whatever they want; that doesn't make it true. Is that something that's hurt you before? People judging you without knowing you?"
"Yeah." The emotional ghosts of so many memories returned to me in a flood. I never really fit in as a kid, trying to perform masculinity and utterly failing. Everyone could so easily tell that I was different, even if they didn't know how. That was enough to earn their ire. "Often. Even my coworkers, you know?"
"Keff? Sekvi?"
"Oh, no, before. I used to work at a restaurant. Even when I got promoted to manager, people would refuse to give me their orders, coworkers would leave things undone. People would take p-, draw rude pictures of me and hang them up for others to see. People easily twice my age would do that. It was the same at school." I didn't want to get too deeply into all this. I felt tired from the day's events, and I didn't want to burden Lilika further in spite of her interest.
"So this goes back a long way."
"Yeah. All the way back, if you know what I mean."
"Would you like my advice?"
"Please." Lilika leaned forward, joining her hands to point at me in a relaxed manner.
"I think the world gives its biggest challenges to the only ones that can handle them. That doesn't solve my problems, and that won't solve yours, but it gives you a say in the experience. It's a lot better than feeling powerless, isn't it?"
"...I hate that feeling so much." My words weighed their worth in lead. I felt heavier having said them.
"But look at you now. Keff and Sekvi are giving you support. I am, too, but I'm not here to toot my own horn; we're reciprocating here. Anyway, you're a wizard now. Isn't that an amazing thing?" She extended a hand in a gesture to me. "My magic comes from instinct and my spiritual place within nature. You study the source of magic itself! I think that's worth respecting, or at the very least, consideration." It was a strong point. I revisited the fact that I had been lucky to be shown the kindness I'd experienced in this world, to land in Karthos Bend, and to be given access to magical study so generously. Doubting myself and thinking of it as unearned or unimportant flew in the face of so many people that would likely give a lot to be in my position, not to mention Sekvi's expert tutelage. I offered no contest to Lilika's words.
"What is that like?
"It's... like swimming, but with your soul. There's a balance to it. Primal magic requires emotional balance and spiritual investment. I enjoy it." We finished our food soon after, and sat by the fire together to join the quartz to the staff while we continued our discussion. Several different ideas were suggested, but we settled upon gluing the crystal in place and sculpting candle wax around the base to mask the unsightly blobs the glue created. A staff, a wizard staff of my own, lay across the fireplace in wait of my consecration as an Arcane Focus. We spoke of emotional matters while we worked. We spoke of fear, of trauma, of loss and ways to empower ourselves in the processes of each without confessing our respective specifics. Reframing my way of thinking about things had always felt like an insult to me until Lilika explained it to me; she was even more earnest than the therapist that I had seen. I noticed that I felt calmer around her now that I had gotten my fears out into the open. She had a gentle air about her. Lilika was the kind of person that would love someone with a goal so incomprehensibly different than her own, for decades, and not mourn her loss once the other's goal was achieved. Her husband's story, what little she had spoken of it, struck me with unparalleled profundity. If he could find happiness in being himself in a world that had felt long out of reach to him, I felt that I had a chance at doing the same thing.
The process of imbuing my staff with focused Arcane intent was a simple one: I merely needed to meditate on it and channel myself into the object. It sounded silly to me at first, but I understood the concept more deeply as I worked. This Focus, this staff, was to be an extension of myself and my magic. It was a conduit through which I could tap into the Weave itself from a distance. Meditation was new to me. I sat still and quiet, and focused on my breathing until I felt calm. The myriad frantic thoughts in me still wailed their volume in my head and my body. That was to be expected. Contrary to the understanding I'd previously had of meditation, Lilika assured me that the art was in letting the thoughts pass me, and choosing which ones I'd unfold like a book. Books could be all around me, but it took focus to read. I had been trying to read an infinite amount of books at the same time for my entire life. It was no wonder I always felt so frazzled and unfocused. I imagined what I could do with my magic, all the ways I could help people, including myself. Little by little, my vision felt more tangible, if not more complete. I still had no idea what I was going to do or how I was going to do it, but it was coming together one day at a time. That was the art of meditation.
"I think I got it," I announced upon emerging from my satisfactory mental journey. The staff in my hands, smooth and dry from the warmth of the fire, crowned in quartz, was ready.
"Let's test it. If you see here, my blanket's got a tear in it. Do you think you can fix it?" I looked over to the blanket in question and saw that the blanket did not have a tear in it; it had a cut in it. The cut was very recent, too, given how little fray there was in the threads. Had Lilika done this on purpose to give me an opportunity to test myself? It was a deeply touching gesture.
"I should be able to. Let's see... chalupus maximus," I quietly chanted as I drew my staff over the cut in the blanket. The threads joined together without hesitation as the staff's crystal glowed a slight golden color. A smile bloomed over me; it worked! Not just the cantrip, but my new staff!
"Now that is handy. Great job! Sekvi's going to be impressed with you."
"I hope so. They did a very good job of teaching me. I almost feel like I could create my own spells if I wanted to."
"There isn't a doubt in my mind. Now that that's done, it's late, isn't it Rags?" The dire dog responded with a thump of his tail against the floor. "That's him for 'I agree, mama.' It's unanimous, then. I know you're probably not keen on sharing a bed with someone you're just getting to know, so I can set up a pallet for you to sleep on. Will that do?"
"Yes, please, thank you." I didn't know what a pallet was, but I soon learned that it was a small platform that rested on the floor, covered in bedding material. The amount of blankets Lilika had in her cabin was a blessing in itself. I tended to the fire while my makeshift bed came together; one of us would have to feed it overnight. That was a duty I didn't mind doing if I happened to wake up. As I lay down with my staff and cloak beside me, Rags lumbered over me to join Lilika on her bed. They cuddled up together like old friends. It was heartwarming to behold, and the soft thought carried me off to sleep. I pondered the cozy quietude of the cabin while I slept, putting myself in Lilika's shoes by imagining myself alone here, for years. It wouldn't be a bad place to spend that time, but the loneliness reminded me of how I had so often felt before I came to the Cradle. I had made friends here: Keff, Sekvi, Betiara, and now potentially Lilika and Rags. I had to correct that thought as I drifted off: I was, without a doubt, already friends with Rags. He was a very good boy.
The beginnings of my dreams were strangely peaceful. I was sitting alone on a rock in the middle of a warm, beautiful meadow. I inhabited my familiar human body, but carried my Spell Tome, my cloak, my dress and my staff. I looked out over the endless expanse and felt at peace... until it was all different. Everything was very loud. Jars of vegetables were shaking from the shelves, and I saw Lilika standing by the window while she hurriedly donned her fur coat. The whole house was swaying back and forth. I was awake. "Madison, get up," she said, suddenly diving over to me. She saw that I was awake and all but lifted me off of the palate. A hatch door next to the fireplace, one I hadn't noticed before, was open, and I was being ushered toward it. I grabbed my things in a panicked daze and followed Rags down into the hole, closely followed by Lilika with a staff of her own. My feet failed to find the last few rungs of the narrow stairway, and I fell forward into a wooden shelf that elicited a sickening crack from my chest. I didn’t feel anything. "It's an earthquake. Biggest I've ever seen," she explained with a fearful rush. This shook me from my doze more than anything: if Lilika was afraid, then I should be afraid, too.
There was an awful groaning sound coming from all around me, with booming sounds echoing across the valley. I felt confused. I felt scared. It was dark down here. I started crying. "What's going on," I asked in desperation, despite having just been given the answer.
"I don't know. It's bad." Lilika's staff shone a small flame within its crystal, dyeing the room green with its stone-informed light. There was a rueful fear to her voice that I really did not like. "The house is probably going to come down, but I can get us out. Madison, you're going to be okay, sweetie."
"Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop," I plead through tears. I hadn't yet started to grasp what was happening, it was all so loud with terror. A tremendous splintering sound came from above as the cabin gave way and collapsed onto the stone-reinforced wood of the foundation. I screamed in reflex, and Rags voiced his confused fear with an extended yelp. Even as the house settled, the noises and the shaking hadn't ended yet. I heard a distant rumbling sound that got closer and closer. It wasn't the earthquake.
"Rockslide! Get down," Lilika managed to shout before she threw herself over me. Deafening impacts of stone rained down on the ruins of the cabin overhead. The sounds of countless mighty trees snapping under crushing impacts rattled my very bones. One impact landed right above us, and the hatch door splintered inward, but didn't quite give way. This prompted another round of primal screaming. Fear-driven adrenaline ruled my every moment, but it didn't slow down. I didn't feel in control, the way I usually did. All I could feel was the need to scream as if that would be what saved me from this. It was too much. The earth's moans began anew under the strain, and the whole room surged upward around us. Everything was still in place, aside from the odds and ends and jars of vegetables Lilika had kept here in the cellar, but I had felt an unmistakable surge of drastic upward motion. Nothing made sense. I couldn't calm down. I felt trembling hands touch over my face as the druid's face came into view. "We're alright Madison. We're alright. I know it's scary. We're alright."
My ears were ringing. It was all so loud. The tumult continued for several more minutes. Only when the shaking tapered off and there had been a long span of time between falling boulders did Lilika begin to move again. I was still huddled in the corner of the cellar, sobbing quietly to myself with staff in hand. Holding on to something felt like it helped. I smelled smoke in the air that wafted down from above; the remains of the cabin were catching on fire. I finally started to understand what had been happening to me: there was an earthquake. Lilika had saved me by bringing me into a basement. She and rags were okay. I, however, was not; something was deeply wrong with my chest. "Ooowwww god ow fuck!"
"Here, here, let me see." I undid the sash of my dress and moved to shimmy my shoulders free of the garment, but doing so invoked white-hot pain.
"GaaAAAAAAHHH FUCK A DUCK AND A HALF IT HURTS!" It hurt even more when Lilika pressed a hand to my chest.
"Your rib's broken, sweetie. Hang on." She held her staff to me and invoked another green glow. I felt warm, worse pain, then it started to fade. Panting was my only recourse as I lay back against what felt like a rack containing a few intact jars. "Is that better?"
"Yeah. What the fuck happened? I'm so scared."
"An earthquake... a bad one. The house came down and I think it's on fire." The thought of burning alive in a hole in the ground, after all the miracles I'd borne witness to lately, felt as if it was the only way it could end. "But I think the rocks have stopped. Help me get these rocks out of the way." We began to pull the stone walls of the cellar out of their formerly neatly packed resting places. All the mortar was cracked, so they came out pretty easily. It took only minutes for us to make a hole big enough to crawl through.
"We're going to dig?!"
"Sure are. Move aside, I have magic for this." Lilika stood over me in a protective fashion as I wriggled out of the way of the hole we'd made. Her staff glowed green, and a great pile of dirt flew from the wall to scatter over the ground. This action was repeated, and she dug side escarpments as we went. We tunneled outward and upward this way, aiming for what Lilika knew to be a low point in the wood near the house. A slab of rock diverted us, but after several loads of dirt being dumped over us, we smelled fresh air. The spell, likely a cantrip she was using backfilled the tunnel to carry Rags up behind us. Words could hardly describe what awaited us on the surface. The majority of the forest was cut bare with enormous boulders lying atop, as if they had always been there. A nearby source of orange light was the blazing pyre that had been the cabin minutes ago. I stared at the burning wreckage, remembering that I had been sleeping so peacefully there. I was less than a minute from death and I hadn't even known. Cold, from the air and from this realization, saturated me to my core.
"No..." Lilika breathed next to me. I turned to look at what she was seeing. The entire valley had been rent in two. The East side had risen to an impossible degree, splintering earth into sunken holes and patches hanging lopsided over each other. I could see a monolithic orange glow over the western horizon... Karthos Bend was burning. I thought immediately of Keff, Sekvi and Betiara. They could all have been kept out of town by their duties. I needed to go. I needed to make sure, but as I stepped forward, a hand closed over mine. "Please. Just a few minutes." Her meaning was clear without even having to think about it. The emerald of her staff was glowing green, as were her eyes, twisted into a sorrow greater than one I could know. As badly as I needed to run, I couldn't leave her to face what might have become of the bear on her own. Not after she had saved my life before saving her own.
"Do you know where-?"
"Follow me." With speed I hadn't expected from an aging woman of her stature, Lilika took off. I followed as quickly as I could, our path illuminated by her staff. Rags ran ahead of her. He had to know what our intent was, as well. We tore through stumps all around us, and I began to see splatters of blood and tufts of fur. No. I refused. My mind refused to think about what I was seeing and what it could mean for the town. Before more than a few minutes had passed of our flight South, Lilika slowed to a stop and collapsed to her knees. Before her was a great, brown carpet, and I saw shining fur reflecting the light of her staff. Weakened sounds came from her former husband. My entire body went numb. Somehow, I moved closer. All I could think to do was watch and place my hand on Lilika's shoulder as I knelt down. "I made a friend," she said to the bear, a hint of laughter in her tone. Her face was as wet as mine. The bear was still alive, but weak, and a gigantic paw came to rest in my newest friend's lap. I could see now that this bear wasn't entirely like a bear from Earth, but now wasn't the time to catalog such information.
I felt so strangely real. Present. Numb. A rock had crushed the hind half of the bear and rolled away, leaving a streak of blood behind. He wasn't going to make it; no healing could save him. Our eyes met as my shoulders started to tremble. "I'm sorry we had to meet like this," I breathed, almost on autopilot.
"This is Madison... you'll love her. All she does is think of others, just like you always have. ...here." I saw a piece of dried fruit jerky in Lilika's hand as she fed it to the bear. She leaned in to kiss his forehead. The bear made a sound of ease as he chewed. "I'll make it stop hurting. I love you. I always will." Shaking legs carried her upward, and she slowly walked around the bear. I realized what was going to happen. "Look away, sweetie," she said with an unnatural quiet. I couldn't. It was done. The noise would live in my mind forever whether I had watched or not. Rags whimpered.
"Do you think he understood," I asked Lilika as I stared at the vomit I'd left on the ground, heaving each breath as I fought to steady myself.
"He did." We stood in silence for what felt like an eternity until the druid took a step forward. "Come on... we have bodies to bury."
"What about him?" My question hung still in the air. It felt as if the world itself had stopped turning.
"He's a bear, Madison." I experienced every ounce of pain that Lilika carried when I heard those words. A cascading, molten lifetime of loss poured over me and burned me until I was cleansed of all else. It was ecstatic in its agony. Before those words I was a different person, transformed once again by something I was only beginning to understand. Steps, numb and aching, eventually transitioned into a run once we had gathered ourselves enough to do it. Perhaps it was only that the pervasive sense of urgency had sunk in further. A squawk from beside me announced Lilika taking flight as a bird. Rags gave immediate chase. I took a steeling breath to cast Expeditious Retreat and hurried myself toward Karthos Bend. The road was empty aside from us and the blaze that glowed through the night. Mist had been shaken from the valley by the quake, and the river no longer flowed. I could see two more orange glows, one at either end of the valley: one to the North, one to the South. Burning trees told me that the full destruction of this event was only beginning. Sekvi's tower no longer graced the skyline. I felt weak.
My lungs burned with freezing fire by the time I reached the cliff that bisected what had once been a thriving town. I felt Lilika's talons close over the shoulder of my robe, but nothing could tear my eyes away from the ruination around me. On either side of me, the remains of the end of the 3rd Spoke lay in heaps. The road continued several yards below me, cracked as it wagged its way toward little more than craggy piles of buildings. Blue tiles that had comprised the roof of Sekvi's tower littered the 2nd and 3rd Spokes. Keff's home and shop were flattened with only bricks remaining of the forge. The industrial buildings of the 6th and 7th Spokes were now only low walls poking out of a sea of bricks. A muddy trickle of a riverbed was all that was left of the park, its trees bearing exposed roots as the trunks leaned over. My former sanctuary, the inn, lay slanted over the 1st Spoke. Some of the street lights still stood, but many had toppled and become hidden by debris. It was all gone. The only sounds were the rushes of wind that threatened to spread the flames further and the rumbles of said flames as they ate the leavings of Karthos Bend. There were no cries. I didn't know how I was going to get down from this ledge.
The ground shook again. A ways to my left, the overhanging ledge, sodden by the former river, sloughed forward in a gigantic chunk of mud and dirt. It created a ramp of sorts down to street level. I assessed the risks without hesitation: the ground was still uneven and prone to giving way, so I couldn't stay here. The chasm between these two slabs of land, as narrow as it was, was still enough to swallow me if I fell wrong. It was still my best option from what I could see of my surroundings; the cliff extended miles along my left and my right. I pointed this pile of dirt out to Lilika, who shook her head in response. She believed it was too dangerous to chance. Just as I was feeling futility chill me to the bone, I heard a sudden shout of surprise to my right. A figure had appeared in the sky and was plummeting toward the base of what was Sekvi's tower. I recognized their voice. Blue light flashed, and the figure's descent slowed. They would reach the ground safely. "Sekviiiii," I called, my voice hoarse with terror and tears.
"Madison! Back away!" Logic was not in charge of my mind in this moment; I hurried away from the ledge without hesitation. Seconds later that stretch of earth, too, gave way and fell forward toward the street. I imagined this would continue to happen due to the lack of deep tree roots where I was standing. Sekvi clambered over the rubble as quickly as they could and made their way to the second pile of dirt that had poured over a pile of splinters that was once a house. "Jump! I've got Feather Fall!"
I tried to ask them if they were sure, but all that came from my throat was a strangled issuance of fear and sorrow. Rags whined, and I felt a cold nose brush against my hand. I hoped he was more certain than I was that Sekvi's spell would prevent us from falling to our deaths. There were no other options. I felt void throughout my being as I ran and leapt as far out as I could from the tragic raise. Another blue flash seemed to take my weight from me as my descent slowed to a halt. I reflexively grabbed the dire dog that had leapt with me and held on to him for dear life. We were joined in this embrace moments later by my former teacher and the lonely druid. "What happened," Sekvi gasped, eyes flicking about in a fevered survey of all the destruction.
"Earth... quake."
"We... we must locate survivors. Anyone we can."
"Locate survivors," echoed Lilika, tailing with a squawk. She took flight once more and began to circle the town.
"I'm scared. What are we going to do?" Green hands gently closed over my cheeks in a gesture of comfort. I felt steadier in Sekvi's embrace. My eyes closed on their own.
"We breathe, and we keep breathing, no matter what, Madison. After that... in due time. With any luck, Keff and Betiara haven't arrived yet. Come." I was pulled to my feet. My legs nearly gave out from under me; there was a delay between my brain and my body. It felt so heavy and so light at the same time as we hurried toward the center of town, my hand closed around Sekvi's. The very center of the town square seemed to be the only ground that remained relatively intact. Everything else was covered in rubble. Flames were rampant, and constant wind blew obscuring smoke Southward. The inn's remains were closest to us, so we searched that area first. Lilika remained ominously silent as we carefully climbed formerly comforting rooms and furniture. My voice strained to make as much noise as I could in hopes of alerting any survivors to the presence of help. No voices could be heard calling back to us while we searched the inn. We gave up and moved toward the residential area of town. Lilika crowed overhead; she had spotted someone.
It was the homeless man I had met shortly after arriving in town, crumpled on the ground with his charred back exposed. A burning wooden beam had fallen onto him... blood slicked down the back of his head. He was wearing nicer clothes than he'd been when I last saw him. Things had been getting better for him, too. It was too late. I could only hope that others had died as quickly as he had. The collapsible umbrella I held forward parted the dark smoke around me as I stood and wondered what the man's life had been like. What happened to his arm? Was he getting medical attention? How old was he? Did he have family in town, or was he alone? I knelt down and closed his terrified eyes for him. That was what people did in movies for people they cared for. I could have tried to check up on him through my week and a half in town, but instead I was so focused on myself and what I was doing. Guilt swallowed me more fully than billowing smoke ever could; it only magnified in me as I turned away and walked further up the wreckage of the 1st Spoke.