"Ugh." I felt a mild throbbing in my head as I sat up in my cot. Contrary to my expectations, the others were all still present. Keff and Sekvi were still asleep, with the former gently snoring away. Lilika was working on something by the counter, and a look into the other room showed Betiara carefully practicing martial arts forms. I felt thirsty as I stood and stretched. My muscles were sore from all the stress of the battle yesterday. Battle... I had feelings about that battle that I felt needed address. The others likely did, as well, considering that Sekvi's first answer to the situation was to get us drunk. It was fun, of course; I wasn't ungrateful, it simply indicated an intent, such as any choice did in life. "Morning," I whispered to Lilika as I stepped over Rags to reach the wash basin to splash my face into a more wakeful state.
"Morning, sweetie. Here," she gently urged, offering me a small pile of white powder contained within some wax paper. "Powdered whitebark, it'll help your head." I knew this to be aspirin, a common non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug, back on Earth. A silent cheer was made with the powder as I downed it with water. It was terribly bitter, a little plantish in taste, and scratched my throat on the way down.
"How are you?"
"Oh, I'm alright. I woke up just in time to use the preserved plant last night. I almost forgot about it until my coat started poking me," she said with a pleasant smile. Her mood was infectious and instantly put my quickly mounting anxieties to ease. "It's been a while since I went stargazing, so I'm thinking of doing that tonight."
"That sounds nice." I rubbed my eyes, trying to get my head back on straight. "Is that, like, the equivalent of reviewing my notes and stuff?"
"It's like any relationship, it requires some maintenance. It helps to think of everything in nature as being alive. So, yes, I think so." This respective view of spirituality registered to me as a form of animism, if only in a philosophical capacity. I felt that such a view could easily find a place in my study of Transmutation, as change and its consequences were ultimately of life itself. "Do you have any plans for the day?"
"Well, I have some new ideas for spells. I think I have some ideas, but I'm going to need supplies to get them to a functional state... no idea how I'm gonna do that. And I've been thinking about what you said, with putting down roots?" A nod of her head and a continued smile signaled her appreciation of the attention I was paying to her suggestions. "I think we should have a team meeting, you know? Sit down and see how we're feeling, where we're at, and where we want to go."
"That sounds like a wonderful idea, Madison. Sign me up."
"Thank you. Being a 22 year-old manager of a shitty franchise restaurant is finally worthwhile," I observed sardonically. It had been worthwhile in paying for my hormonal transition, of course, but working for any corporate entity in America was a little soul-crushing. "I kind of... I should save that for when everyone's awake."
"We'll hear you out," Lilika assured me with a gentle squeeze of my forearm. "Don't worry. If there's a problem, we can always work it out. I'll see about raising some money for your projects today, alright?" I wasn't sure how to adequately thank her, so I gave her a hug that was readily returned. I already felt a little safer, a little less doubtful of myself. Further distracting Lilika from her work wasn't something I wanted to, so I decided to check in with Betiara while the others slept. She was so focused that I couldn't bring myself to distract her. I watched her motions instead, fierce, flowing and complex in application. Her half-wolf shape was so graceful and beautiful to me in the way she was wearing herself on her sleeve.
"Morning," she said after allowing me to watch her uninterrupted for a few minutes. I immediately felt as if I was trespassing on something forbidden.
"Morning. Should I not watch?"
"It's fine. ...I could use some company." Betiara returned to a resting pose and sat down with her back to the wall. I joined her, doing everything I could to avoid pressing my hand into her fur just to feel how soft it was. "Belot took me off guard detail." She had voiced her concern of such a decision last night. This was likely some petty form of revenge for the mayor siding with us. It had to be.
"How are you feeling about that?"
"Terrible." Her ears tapered back as she thumped the back of her head against the stone wall, looking up into the exposed rafters above us. "The guards appreciated my example, I think, but some of them..." She trailed off. I could fill those blanks in.
"Some people don't know a good thing when they see it," I asserted, resting my palms against my knees. It was hard to know what to say when I didn't know Betiara well enough to know how her mind worked; all I could do was imagine what she was going through. There were similarities in our experiences. "Their fear isn't a reflection of you, you know? It's just a mirror for their own ignorance. ...I know you want people to learn from you, and you have good things to teach. The ones that matter will hear you."
"Is that enough?"
"If it's what you can do..." The pace of the conversation lapsed into silence as Betiara sighed her frustrations into the air and closed her eyes.
"I'm afraid to go outside. The way people look at me makes me think that they'll disregard anything I have to say because of what I am." I could empathize substantially with that feeling. I felt terrified every time I left my room, and only more so when I left the house, during the first two years of my transition. Things had only come together earlier this year when my hair was adequately long and I had a good idea of how to dress. Society hated what they saw as a 'man' in a 'dress.' It made me an automatic enemy of so many people.
"Before I looked like this, I got the same kind of treatment," I explained in a low tone. "People accused me of gross things and one person threw a soda in my face. I couldn't do anything about it without risking things I wasn't willing to lose. I don't know what it's like to be a werewolf, but I know what it's like to face people's shitty, preconceived notions." Betiara slowly nodded her head a few times. I was grateful that she trusted my relation to her situation. She likely understood the cause of my experiences through her familiarity with Sekvi. I wondered if she had seen them transition.
"It's awful. I felt so confident before. How did you go outside knowing that people would treat you like that?"
"Honestly, spite was a lot of it. They can waste themselves on hate all they want; it's only my problem when they make it my problem." I looked down into my lap, feeling uncertain of how such a method would be received. "It's a lot easier to say than it is to do, but when I could find a way to feel okay about how I looked, that confidence discouraged a lot of the assholes from starting anything." Our eyes met as she considered this approach. It would be nice to have one of Lilika's infectious smiles on hand right now.
"I need to do something today. Will you come with me?"
"Yeah," I answered without a second thought. Betiara's ears resumed a restful position. The right one twitched slightly as Lilika set something down in the other room.
"There's a temple of Lunata here in Letvel. I just need... moral support." Oh, fuck, not a temple. Religion and I did not get along well. My body tensed at the suggestion, which Betiara noticed, judging by the way her ears tapered back again. I took a moment to think on the idea. She needed support right now, from me, from someone that had the beginning of an understanding of what she was feeling. I was so resistant to the idea of letting her down that I decided this sacrifice was worthwhile. After all, if we were supposed to lay roots in each other, and if my presence could show people that Betiara wasn't what they thought she was, then there was only one answer I could give.
"I'll go with you."
"What is it?" I felt my expression sour; I didn't want to bring the subject up. She would feel bad about asking me, and would offer to ask someone else.
"...in the country I'm from, most people belong to a religion that tends to view transgender people and others as some vile, evil enemies of all that's supposedly good in the world. My parents forced me into that environment at an early age, before all that, and it did a lot of damage." I sighed, watching her expression sour alongside mine. "I'm still gonna go with you, religion and I are just, not on good terms, that's all."
"Are you sure? I could ask someone else."
"You didn't. I know this is important... I said I'd go with you, I'll go with you." Had I been too forceful with my explanation? Betiara didn't seem happy with my assertion until her eyes softened.
"You're a good friend, Madison." Was I? I couldn't imagine what kind of heartless person would say no to her plea for help. I hadn't been a good friend only days ago when I had failed to trust the others, and hadn't let myself not be okay, putting my desire to avoid my difficulties over their need to rest. The very thought still stung me to my core. At best, I was learning to be a better friend than I had been.
"Beginner's luck," I offered as a compromise. The moment that followed stirred unexpected emotions in me. We stared into each other's eyes with an understanding that couldn't be communicated otherwise. I wondered what Betiara saw in me. Gratitude, concern and worry were visibly present in hers. Deeper than that, I saw a facsimile of how she saw herself: a self-described animal, which was something she was proud of. She had been unbelievably courageous to show her true form in battle yesterday, knowing that that would help her oppose a threat to innocent people. The enormity of that decision with the risks involved and her personal fears being worn so openly absolutely floored me. I felt Betiara truly deserved all of the positive recognition she had cultivated in Karthos Bend regardless of her past or her species, though those factors only served to make her example even more powerful. Regret formed an upward pressure in my stomach as I felt I had to say something better than a sardonic dismissal of her genuine appreciation. "You're a good friend, too, Betiara." That felt like a much better way to honor the sacrifice of trust she had placed in me. A small smile came to her in light of my attempt to set myself right.
"You pet me last night."
"Oh. Yeah, should I not have?" Betiara chuckled at my question, that handsome grin of hers returning once more.
"It was kind of funny." I couldn't help but smile, too. Infectious smiles seemed to cover much ground in the little group of refugees we had formed.
"When you stand back, yeah. But, for real, should I not, or...?"
"It's fine. You keep looking at my shoulder." She was right. The armor she often wore hadn't yet been put on this morning, which left her tunic and arm wraps to expose an unguarded section of plush Winter fur. "What do you want?" I had no idea. The answer was sought out and quickly found to be something extremely embarrassing.
"Nothing," I lied.
"Just do it."
"O-... okay." It was still embarrassing. I hoped that the gesture would still be received when Betiara learned what it was that I wanted. Only after being welcomed to do so, I moved a little closer and lowered my head to rest against her shoulder. My cheeks were burning as I closed my eyes and let myself settle there. I heard Betiara chuckle above me. Similarly to how I felt when hugging Lilika, I felt safe as I rested against this tall, strong woman that I respected. We remained in this position until I couldn't bear my burning embarrassment anymore. A giggle was shared between us, and I glanced into the other room in hope that we hadn't woken anyone up. We may have, considering the way Sekvi was resting on their stomach with their arms folded under their head, staring right at us with an elated grin of their own. I knew what that look suggested of Betiara and I. All of a sudden, the significance of the moment we had just shared, as well as previous pleasant moments we had spent together crystallized into an undeniable revelation. I looked back over to her to see that we had both made the same discovery at exactly the same time: we were interested in each other. She felt the same way I did.
"I should get back to..."
"No, yeah, yeah, I'll," I stammered and pointed my thumb into the other room. We both hesitated, ultimately standing and going our separate ways for now. Betiara returned to her forms as I sat on my cot to face the fireplace, staring wide-eyed at the opposite wall. I could feel Sekvi egging me on as their gaze burned a hole in me. They flew from their bed to kneel beside mine and took my hand in both of theirs to shake it with excitement.
"That was positively adorable," they whispered at a volume I was certain that Lilika and Betiara could both hear clearly. "A very good morning to you, Madison."
"Good morning to you, too." I looked out the window above the counter to assess today's weather. It was no longer snowing, with a gray light suffusing the street outside. This indicated overcast cloud cover, which wouldn't be the worst weather for an escape... a walk.
"Soooo, what are you going to do?"
"We're going to the temple later."
"I suppose that could be romantic." I heard Betiara stumble into the wall in the other room.
"You're a dick," I said lightly.
"I know," Sekvi affirmed in equally good humor. "How's your head feeling?"
"Better. Lilika's got whitebark powder over there."
"Splendid." I was left alone once more as Sekvi sought a dose of whitebark for themself. The cot was sturdy enough for me to collapse onto as I sought shelter from the outside world in the form of my cloak. I draped it over myself and sighed into the soft fabric on the inside layer. It made me think of Betiara's fur... damn it! This was not a situation I was prepared to contend with. Affection? Interest? We were newly good friends with each other, but it seemed we had hopped, skipped and jumped our way over the following steps to land squarely in something further forward.
"What's going on with her?" Keff was awake now. Thank goodness; the group check-in could commence soon.
"She and Betiara like each other," Lilika explained without a care for her volume.
"I sure hope they do, we fought that damn burrowelter together."
"No, Keff, they like each other."
"Aw. Well that's nice." I heard Keff thump to his feet and approach the counter for his own dose of aspirin.
"By the moon," I heard Betiara swear under her breath from the other room. "You're all insufferable."
"Oh, be happy about it, fluffy," Keff retorted with a heaving laugh. "Love is a wonderful thing."
"Don't call me that."
"Oh? You're saying we shouldn't call you fluffy?" Sekvi asked with a grin that I could hear.
"What did I just say?"
"Hey, let's not call her that if she says not to," I ventured. This only earned raucous laughter from Keff and Sekvi both.
"Lilika, is there food you can shut them up with?" I couldn't tell if Betiara was in on the joke or not. There was an ambiguity to her blunt tone that made me wonder at times.
"Berries are on the counter!"
"Ooh, Lilika, here," Sekvi urged. Lifting my cloak blanket showed me that they were asking Lilika to toss one into their mouth from a distance. She obliged, and Sekvi caught it easily and pumped their hands into the air. "Yes! Fantastic, my friend."
"I still got it!"
"Wish I could say the same," Keff laughed as he took a berry for his breakfast. "Well, I'm taking the day off. I think I've earned that after our glorious battle."
"Both attempts to strike failed," Sekvi unhelpfully suggested.
"It missed me as many times, what's your point?"
"To bother you, Keff, what else?"
"It must be your mission for the day," Betiara pointed out as she rejoined the room.
"Perhaps it is! I must say, I'm very successful."
"Jokes aside," Lilika gently interrupted, "Madison had a great idea: holding a team meeting to check in together. How about we do that over the rest of the fruit juice?" Various sounds of agreement were voiced. We all took a cup of the kobraan water I had prepared and kept by the window to ensure it stayed cool. Once we were sitting on our respective cots, I decided to open the meeting.
"Alright, so, this is something we can do on a regular basis to see how everyone's feeling, what our goals are, and what our needs are. This way we can help each other, appreciate each other, and see if there are any problems that need to be addressed or ideas that need exploration. Who wants to go first?"
"Give us an example to go off," Keff suggested, nodding in my direction.
"Sure, um, so I have some ideas for new spells. Unfortunately they're pretty complex... I'm gonna need money for ink. Probably... um... 250 gold's worth, if I spent all I have now on it." A collection of winces erupted from everyone except for Sekvi.
"No, this is very typical for entry level wizardry," they explained. "This seems like a perfect example of a problem that needs solving! Please continue."
"There's something that's bothering me about yesterday."
"What's that, sweetie?"
"I... didn't feel confident about risking my life like that. It just felt like I was pulled into it," I confessed as carefully as I could. My worry was that Lilika would feel blamed for the situation when I had ultimately decided to follow her up the wall as well as participate in the battle myself. The cup in my hands was the target of my nervous fidgeting as I glanced around the room. "Fighting isn't really my thing, and it's really scary. That weird burrowelter thing? Terrifying. I had to confront my mortality again and I worry I'll be fucked up from that as well as the earthquake." The room was silent after I explained my position, and I immediately worried that I had been too honest or proposed a problem that was not easily solvable.
"I'll take responsibility for that," Lilika advocated with an upraised hand. "I dragged you along. I'm sorry, Madison."
"No, it's... thank you. I'm not really looking for blame to assign or an apology from anyone, I'm just scared. What if I came all this way just to get eaten by some monster? I like this body and I like you all and I like experiencing things with you all." I stared down into my cup, watching lime green pulp gently float in the water and feeling similarly swept up in the currents around me. "Transition feels small compared to this. Now that I have something this big to live for... I'm scared. Is combat something I'm going to have to get used to?"
"I understand," Lilika quietly responded.
"For what it's worth, Madison, you wielded your spells very well, exactly as I had hoped to teach you." Part of that credit went to Magic Missile and its homing properties. Without them, I had doubts that my trembling hands would have been able to aim a Fire Bolt effectively.
"I don't know what Earth's like," Keff chimed in with a more direct address of my concerns, "but there are all kinds of dangerous creatures here. What we fought yesterday was unusual, yeah. Still, if we're traveling or even staying still, there are dangers everywhere."
"We'll keep you covered." Betiara's assertion was more comforting. "Not to downplay your fears. Yes, you'll likely need to acclimate unless you live in an insular city all your life." That was the way many people on Earth lived. Unfortunately, most of the dangers I had faced came from other people, and population increased my chances of facing difficulty. The same could easily be true here.
"If anyone gets hurt, I'll be able to help," Lilika assured us. "To a degree, but... I'll be able to help most things."
"What happens if one of us dies?"
"If such a serious threat were to visit us, I suppose we all could." I both appreciated and didn't care for Sekvi delivering this news to me realistically. No one challenged them.
"I don't want to die. Not yet. I haven't even gotten to live yet."
"We'll do everything in our power to ensure that violence will not be your end." I supposed that was the best news I was going to get. My friends were here, and they were looking out for me. It wasn't bad news, just a bad idea on my part.
"I'll do the same," I responded with a small nod of my head. "That's the best we have at this point, I think. Not that your efforts aren't... you know. Anyway, that's all I have for my part." Sekvi was ready to continue where I left off.
"My only business today is to visit the mayor at some point in hope of securing diplomatic work. I reflected upon the nature of our encounter over my ales last night, and what I found was inspiration. What is a story, but words that paint eventful songs? In reverse, a song that paints a story: I believe my magical musicianship shall reach new heights with the observation of storytelling, and I believe that journey will begin with the story of Karthos Bend." They retrieved their symphonia, quickly tuned it, and began to play idly as they spoke. "So I suppose I am in need of stories, of history, of lore." I found their explanation interesting. Imagining the reach that history could have when proliferated in song made me wonder how much about the Cradle I could learn from such a medium.
"What will you do with that?"
"The same thing I have done, Madison. Learn, teach, and build metaphorical bridges between disparate parties. Ah, yes, at times, I may require feedback as I compose. Would you all be willing to provide that for me?" The entirety of the group agreed to the request, even Rags, who was now awake and interested in the buzz of the group's energy.
"Thank you all, especially you, Rags. You're a very helpful boy and I appreciate you." Lilika quickly translated the sentiment to Rags, who rose to press his head against Sekvi's chest. "What a wonderful creature. I believe that concludes my portion of the meeting!"
"I plan to go stargazing tonight," Lilika explained as she crossed her legs. "It's been a while and I need the familiarity. For the sake of old times with my husband and to maintain my connection with all of nature, I need it. I don't know how I can do it without turning into a bird and flying out somewhere remote while we're in this city, but if anyone can keep up with me, you're welcome to come along."
"I'd like to come with you," Betiara volunteered. "I need some time in the wilds. After yesterday, this city, I need a break."
"I'd be happy to have you, sweetie." The two women exchanged a warm smile. "Aside from that, I'm building a healer's kit right now, so if anyone comes across healing plants, bring 'em to me! That's all I have."
"Thanks for that," Keff expressed while folding his arms. "Glad to have you and your talents here, Lilika."
"You too, Keff."
"Of course. Rebuilding my business is always on my mind, but that requires long-term settlement and I won't know what we're doing until we get to the capital. Even then, I dunno. In the meantime, I'm finding that hitting things with my hammer is good therapy," he chuckled while mimicking a swing of his warhammer. "I've been angry over all this but getting my blood pumping has been an effective way of dealing with it for me, so I don't really need anything aside from food and company. I'm going to the temple later to look into some family history. That's all I have for today."
"Madison and I were going to go, too. Could we all go together?"
"Sure can, fluffy."
"...alright." Betiara looked tense. She sat forward, arms crossed with her elbows over her knees and her brow furrowed with worry. "I... don't know how I'll be received by the city yet. If people get angry, they might do something. I got taken off the detail so I don't know what to do with myself, and if I go out, I don't know if it's safe to go out alone."
"We can do that, sweetie. That's not a problem at all."
"Easily. When in doubt, you can come busking with me," Sekvi offered. "I would never say no to a bodyguard, and the attention you draw could draw attention to my performances. Consider as well my reputation; with us together, you will be known as an ally of mine, as well as my associations."
"I could do that. Thank you both."
"And I'll clobber anyone that looks at you sideways."
"Keep that hammer warm, then," Betiara chuckled. "Uh... before I lost my way for a while, I was involved with the Church of the Crescent and did outreach work through them. We did a lot of good, but there was some bad behind closed doors. I left to join up with an underworld outfit the first time, and after that was over I rejoined the church to see if anything had changed. It hadn't; I thought I could do better on my own, so I left again. The reason I want to go now..." We all paid rapt attention to this information. I had already heard some of it, and I imagined Sekvi had known some of it, too, but the trust she was showing all of us was not lost on anyone. Even Rags watched her while resting his paws in Sekvi's lap.
"Go ahead," Lilika offered in encouragement. "We hear you." Betiara glanced at her, then to me, and continued.
"I can't hide what I am anymore. Without Karthos Bend, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not joining the church a third time, obviously, but... Lunata's example might give me an idea of what to do next. Better inform my own example. So that's what I have." I felt only more compelled to help Betiara in spite of my religious reservations. There hadn't yet been any evidence that she endorsed or embodied any of the ills of the religion she was part of, and it seemed that her interest was more philosophical and person than anything. If the latter weren't the case after all, I didn't consider it a deal-breaker; it would simply make this endeavor easier on me, which wasn't the point of this at all.
"You'll find a way, Betiara," Keff assured.
"I find the stars inspiring, too."
"Your dedication is admirable!"
"So we need safety, company, direction, inspiration, and materials. Most of all, understanding," I summarized for the sake of making this all easier for us all to remember. "These are all very normal, understandable needs that we can help each other with. Thank you all for participating. Is this something we should do more of?"
"Yeah, it's a good idea."
"I feel a little better knowing my lycanthropy isn't a problem for you all."
"I have the utmost faith in our collective."
"Rags and I would be happy to do this again. Thanks for the suggestion, Madison."
"Of course. I'm glad I could be helpful." I wasn't sure what to do next, but I was grateful that the exercise had gone smoothly and that everyone was ready to trust each other. My water was getting warm, so I downed it and lay back on my cot to think until something happened. Being an organizer of even a short event like a group meeting was tiring to me, and I needed to conserve myself for facing the difficulty represented by entering a temple. The others talked while I considered my relationships with the others in the group as well as potentially dying beside them in battle. Flashes of Karthos Bend and the burrowelter's attack tightened my stomach to the point of nausea. I pushed the images away to examine how they had made me feel, in hope of gaining insight into where my fears came from and how I could lessen them. It was not pleasant work. I felt afraid, angry, and desperately helpless. Reminding myself that I had managed to help myself and others during these disasters did little to make me feel better. After some further thought, I realized that I was traumatized simply by the way I had suddenly disappeared from any sense of familiarity, no matter how awful that familiarity was, and dropped into a completely new place that I didn't understand. I was also traumatized by the way the base I was attempting to construct for myself had been split in half and burned. Finally, I was traumatized by my own coping mechanism of keeping myself moving; it prevented me from building another base. ...did I even want to try?
A paw holding the cinder block and waving over my face interrupted my ruminations. I noticed that Betiara was wearing her armor again. "Madison? Are you ready?"
"Yeah. Sorry." I sat up and quickly assembled my gear. My pajamas were left folded on the bed as I completed my preparations.
"Are... those from Earth?"
"My pajamas, yeah." I looked down at my Star Wars shirt and momentarily recalled what my old bed felt like. That deep blue comforter was so soft. Betiara knelt down to get a closer look at the clothes in question. I noticed her nostrils flare and her tail begin to slowly wag.
"What does the writing say?"
"Star Wars. It's a series of movies and fiction books. It's really big, all around the world."
"Movies?" There were no movies in this world. I had been without a cell phone for over two weeks. Suddenly, I was beginning to miss more about Earth than I thought I would.
"Movies are... long sequences of still visuals set to an acted story," I explained as we approached the door. "The visuals are shown so quickly, in sequence, that it looks like the pictures are moving. It's short for 'moving pictures.'"
"Must take a long time to make," Keff mused as he led us outside. The snow was melting in the warmer temperatures, which caused water to drip into the street from overhanging buildings. I preemptively raised my hood to shelter me.
"A year to a few, usually."
"Is that all?"
"Video cameras help, but I... explaining that would take days." The others accepted my insistence of this fact, and that let me focus my attention on our surroundings. Eyes were immediately upon us. I expected nothing less as we made our way down the street and turned on to the main road that would take us deeper into the city. Keff carried his warhammer over his shoulder, and not across his back as he usually did, and led the way forward. My staff was at the ready in my left hand as I trailed Betiara. Our protective formation was intended to send a message to our werewolf friend and anyone that would think ill of her. She was putting my advice in motion, walking with her gaze forward, presenting a confident front. Though there were expressions of distaste in equal number to those of appreciation, our walk to the temple was ultimately uneventful. Our destination rose high over the street below in the form of a white stone chapel. A crescent moon and an inscription in a language I couldn't read adorned the arched doorway that towered above us. It was a bitter marvel to me to see the amount of dedicated work that comprised buildings such as these, with their impressive spires and arches that could have been easily shared with the buildings around it. None of the homes around here had been built so finely, but I supposed that was the nature of the beast.
Betiara hesitated as her paw raised toward the door. Her eyes fell over her palm in consideration of what would come next. The paw slowly curled into a fist, and she quietly stepped into the church with Keff and I following after. It was silent and still inside, scarcely warmer than it was outside. Little light was present here, with long shadows cast down from a ring of large lanterns hanging from the ceiling of the hall. With the windows closed, it felt as if a moonlit night was all around us. A smaller light approached us in the form of a pendant from between two rows of pews, casting a soft white tone over the middle-aged elven acolyte that wore it. "Betiara? You're..." I watched the werewolf as I lowered my hood, seeing her ears pull back slightly. "I've heard so much about you after you left."
"Is mom around?"
"I imagine she's on her way back from Nereved." The answer didn't seem to faze Betiara whatsoever. Her expression remained the same. She turned around to address the two of us.
"I have to do this next part on my own," she said quietly, and pressed the cinder block into my hand. A small pendant of the same crescent moon design was raised from under her cuirass. "Thank you both for coming with me. I'll come find you when I'm done." Betiara left the three of us as she ventured further into the hall to stand below a metallic crescent moon displayed on the far wall. The light it reflected cast downward over her as she stared up at it in silence. I wondered what she was going to do there, and what her relationship was like with her mother.
"You three were part of the auxiliary company that helped save the city," the acolyte said in gentle acknowledgement of us, her gaze still fixed upon Betiara's back.
"Uhuh."
"Thank you."
"Of course," I responded in equal quiet.
"Is there something we can help you with?"
"Can you show us to the library?" Keff asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He had never spoken so softly with me around. I wondered if that was simply the way people spoke in environments like these.
"Yes, please follow me." Keff and I could see well enough as we followed the acolyte to our right and entered a small stairwell. The ambient light became brighter as we ascended the steps, leading us into a moderately illuminated space above the chapel hall. The floor was open, save for supporting pillars that continued from the ground floor. Labeled sections of bookshelves lined the walls and many spaces between these pillars. Tables were placed in regular intervals at the far ends of these shelved rows. "Paper and quills are available at each table. Please don't write in the books or remove any books from the library. If you have any questions, please see Nioto, our librarian." With that, the acolyte offered us a smile and disappeared downstairs. Keff seemed to know where he was going, and casually passed the central desk where a white dragonborn was stationed. He offered us a polite nod as we made eye contact with him. I got the impression from the length of his scales, their slightly dulled luster, and the presence of longer spines along the back of his jaw line that he was of some age. There was no telling where that impression came from... I wondered if there was something more to my transformation than I had previously thought.
Keff pored over the books within a nearby section, muttering something about entertaining myself while he looked into boring matters. I wasn't sure what to do with myself while he busied himself with searching. There were so many books in this room that I couldn't read, and I didn't want to rouse anyone's ire by casting any spells via ritual in the middle of a library, so Comprehend Languages was out of the question. I meandered through the rows of books for several minutes to look at the many interesting covers on display. It wasn't enough to satisfy my trauma-borne need to stay busy, so I decided to make a fool of myself by speaking to Nioto instead. "Hello," I began, once again feeling very nervous to approach a stranger. "Are you Nioto?"
"I am," said the elder dragonborn with a pleasant smile as he set his book down. I recognized something odd about the way he spoke: his words weren't being translated by the Necklace of Tongues I was wearing. Usually, a person's speech would be translated only in an auditory capacity into an accent and dialect that reflected ones familiar to me. Keff's accent was sort of southern, and Lilika's was stronger and indicative of the same region. Sekvi and Betiara hadn't had much of an accent at all to my ears... this dragonborn, however, was making sounds that weren't being translated into American English; he was speaking another language entirely. It sounded sort of Germanic with rougher pronunciation of consonants, but lower, softer, and featuring a flowing lilt to it that I found pleasant, more akin to Portuguese in my mind. These sounded like very old sounds. "How are you doing today?"
"I'm... just a moment," I requested as I decided to investigate this unusual event more closely. I carefully lifted my pendant from around my neck and placed it in my pocket. The way that the sounds had formed a strange understanding in my mind reminded me of recognizing a foreign word. Without the aid of magic, I attempted to tap into this process and reverse engineer it in an exploration of Transmutation. "I'm feeling a little out of place," I offered, immediately recognizing that I wasn't speaking English, but making similar sounds that Nioto had made.
"I often feel the same way, being so far North." He was giving me a look of interest as he studied my face. I didn't feel any untoward intent from him. "I believe you're the first dragonborn I've met since I arrived here last year. Welcome." I couldn't begin to hide the look of amazement on my face. Excitement over this unexpected revelation surged through me and made me feel a little warmer.
"Thank you," I continued breathlessly in this foreign language. "This is going to sound like a strange question, but in what language are we conversing right now?" An apologetic look was offered to acknowledge that I understood exactly how strange this question was.
"We're speaking Draconic right now, the traditional language of dragonborn and our forebears. It's heartening to be able to use it outside of reading." I could speak Draconic. It was instinctual, automatic, somehow ingrained into me by whatever nuances of my impossible experience that had settled within my being. Confusion and adrenaline combined to make me feel like I was being shaken out of my scales. "You're one of the group that defended Letvel's gate yesterday, aren't you?"
"Draconic... yes, how did you know?" A kindly smile of amusement came over Nioto. I was happy that he was enjoying himself in spite of my likely odd presence.
"There aren't many dragonborn of your coloration in Letvel," he chuckled. "What's your name?"
"I'm Madison. Sorry."
"Ahh, no, no need to apologize." Nioto offered his hand to shake, which I accepted. "Do you know much of dragonkind, Madison? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I imagine you didn't grow up around other dragonborn as a child."
"You're – haha – very correct. I don't know anything about dragons." His brow raised over his gray-blue eyes as he considered my answer.
"I see. Well, this library will be a boon to you. You're an interesting person, Madison; may I ask what brought you here today?" I still hadn't gotten any threatening or ulterior feelings from the conversation. Betiara's assertion of church corruption worried me, but this hadn't been one of the members that was around during that time. This conversation could be exited at any time.
"A friend of mine is having a... hiccup of faith. I was asked along for moral support." This answer inspired a smile in Nioto.
"That's very kind of you. I'm sure your friend is in good hands. I take it you're not a member of the church, yourself?"
"I'm not part of any faith," I admitted with a hint of self-conscious caution. This wasn't something I would be swayed from.
"All the kinder, then. Don't worry, you're as welcome here as your friend is. Please, pull up a chair, I'd be happy to teach you all about dragons." Hesitation gripped me as I felt a brief pang of strong distrust in this sentiment, but I recognized that as trauma speaking louder than logic. Keff was here; he would make sure nothing bad would happen to me, and I would never succumb to joining a religious organization of any kind. I fetched a chair from a nearby table and placed it to the side of Nioto's desk. He turned to face me, apparently still eager to speak with me. "Where to begin? ...ah, well, an obvious starting point is our respective coloration. I come from a line of dragonborn, and eventually a dragon, at some point, I imagine. Our coloration is indicative of and a response to the environment in which our eggs are laid. Parental colorations affect this to a degree, though much smaller. I come from the... now former tundra town of Kartz, as I understand it." There was a pain in his voice that I didn't want to interrupt; I wondered if Kartz was the distant pinprick of glowing flame I had seen on the night of the earthquake.
"Being so far North, of course, it's very cold there. The barren landscape is so windy and frigid that trees don't grow. Though my parents kept warm inside a house, of course, the environment was very cold. Thus my scales became resistant to the cold so that I could survive in such an environment. One of my parents had white scales, and the other had blue. You can see my father's oceanic home in my plates and eyes." I noted the layered, overlapping plates that rose into a gentle chevron as they traveled up the bridge of his nose. As well, he had no beak, his nose ending in a flatter, wider end that tapered down to the end of his snout. "You must be from a warmer place, or your parents' colorations must have influenced yours very strongly. I see red and gold in your scales... were you born near a volcano, by any chance?" A volcano? Nioto was making me even more interested in my apparently unusual coloration. I remembered reading that the Adirondack Mountains could have been formed by a tectonic hot spot in the distant past...
"That's right." To call my answer a stretch would require a new word entirely.
"You must be far from home." He was offering sympathy, I could tell, but I had to stifle a laugh. I quietly cleared my throat to mask this as best I could.
"I really am."
"It's as they say: we all walk our paths under the sun and the moon," he expressed with a tone of kindness. "That informs your red coloration, but the gold... was it especially sunny in your place of birth?"
"Not especially sunny, no." I saw Nioto's brow furrow slightly. He looked away as he tried to put some unknown pieces together.
"Do you perhaps know the colors of your parents?"
"I don't." They were a pinkish-peach sort of color, also known as white, or Caucasian. This information wasn't terribly relevant here. I saw Nioto's expression fall as he nodded his head.
"I apologize. Not to linger, dragons' colorations come about in the same manner." He sat up slightly, and his eyes fell to my beak. "Ah! Your beak could be a clue to your golden aspects. One or more of your ancestors may have been aarakocra. Do you receive their cultural greeting when you meet them?"
"I do, actually." I decided to throw him a bone to ease his concern over me. "That's easily possible, right?"
"Easily! I hope this information is helpful to you, Madison." An earnest, hopeful smile grew into his features. He reached under his desk in a surprising motion of inspiration. A familiar sight greeted me: a bottle of enchanted ink was placed before me. "I could hope but notice that you're a fellow scholar. Librarians and wizards have a few things in common, and one of those is a need for lasting ink. Consider this my thanks for your efforts in keeping the city safe." This gift, much like the last one I had received for the same reason, caught me off guard. I felt guilt rise in me once more as I looked over the inkwell. With this bottle alone, I could produce my next Transmutation spell, but accepting these gifts when I hadn't wanted to be part of a dangerous battle against a lethal monster in the first place felt wrong.
"Thank you, Nioto," I said as I accepted the gift regardless. I didn't want to have another awkward exchange wherein I refused someone's good will. "I'm actually in the process of formulating a new spell; this will really come in handy. ...I wish I had something to give you in return."
"A burrowelter not crumbling the temple is a great start," he insisted with a laugh, "but if you feel undeserving, then will you indulge my curiosity? What sort of spell are you working on?" That sounded like a fairer trade to me.
"Oh, sure! I specialize in Transmutation magic, the building blocks of matter and a... an engine of change in the universe, to me. Um, my friends are very skilled in crafting and battle and their various other proclivities. I took inspiration from that and thought I'd come up with a spell that increase the insight one holds for various kinds of tasks and capacities. The, um, very literal name I've tentatively given it is Enhance Ability."
"Very useful indeed. Did you come up with that yourself?"
"Yeah," I admitted, feeling that it wasn't as big an accomplishment as Nioto was apparently suggesting it was.
"That's very interesting. Such a spell exists, and that is its common name." My expression deflated slightly. I didn't know whether this meant I was on the right track when it came to my magic, or if it simply meant I wasn't at all creative. "It seems that you have a knack for Transmutation if your intuition is that strong. As it happens, I know that spell, myself; it keeps my memory fresh as I manage this enormous library."
"It seems like a lot of work," I offered as I glanced around the expanse of books. There must have been thousands upon the shelves of this room. "Are you sure it doesn't make me, um, unoriginal? Because now I wonder if I should give it a fancier name."
"I am absolutely sure that it speaks more to your predisposed talents and innate creativity than anything else. The news I received was that Sekvi the Seer is among your group, and that doesn't surprise me in the slightest, now that I've met you." If two people that seemed to know what they were talking about told me that I had a good grasp of wizardly study, then I felt I could believe their evaluations over my own in this regard. It felt good to be good at something.
"Thank you. That's actually how we met," I began, only for Betiara to interrupt me. She called my name and followed it with some words I didn't understand. "She's interested in me, too, haha. Thank you for the ink and for teaching me about dragons, Nioto. It was nice meeting you."
"It was nice to meet you too, Madison. Please feel free to come to me if you ever have questions, or find yourself with too much time on your hands." We parted with a mutual smile as I returned my chair and walked over to Keff. I heard pages behind me being flipped through in a flurry. Nioto was likely very busy; that, or he wasn't sure what to make of a werewolf and wanted to look busy. I put my pendant back on and stepped over to Betiara.
"I'm done," she stated simply, scanning the library for Keff. "Who's the dragonborn?"
"Nioto, the librarian. He told me about dragons and gave me this ink for my spells. I think he was happy to see someone like him all the way up here. How'd it go?" Betiara sighed and shrugged her shoulders.
"I feel a little better, thanks. I think I'll be sticking with you all for a while, and... I don't want to hide this anymore." I wondered what sort of breakthrough she had made to warrant these decisions. It must have been substantial for her to feel this certain about taking risks like that.
"I'm really glad to hear that," I said as gently as I could. Words failed me afterward as our eyes met, then quickly averted.
"Where's Keff?"
"I last saw him over there." We rounded the corner to see Keff holding a stack of notes he had taken.
"So how'd you learn to speak Draconic?"
"I don't know, man. I took the necklace off and I could still understand him, then I started making dragonborn sounds he could understand." Keff found my flustered whispering amusing. The stack of papers he was holding were given a light slap with the back of his hand.
"Goes back a couple thousand years," he explained, clearly satisfied with the work he had done. "They keep good records up North. It turns out the asshole that sired me came from a long line of smiths. I bet that's where I get my talent from." This was the first time I had heard Keff mention his other parent. It didn't sound like a happy relationship... remembering what he had said about his mother dying from stress made me wonder if his father had caused that stress.
"Thousands of years? That's seriously impressive. You found all that that fast?" How long had I been talking to Nioto?!
"Sekvi taught me some reference tricks while we were together. Anyway, this'll tie me over until I can find somewhere to dig deeper." Keff folded his notes and put them into the inside pocket of his coat. "You talk to the moon?"
"No," Betiara answered with a slight point in her tone, "but I feel like my path ahead is a little clearer. We'll see what happens once we reach the capital."
"Good. You're a great fighter, and we could use that. I'm better, of course, but the front line gets lonely, huh?"
"Sure, Keff."
"Where I come from, we call that 'comparing apples to oranges,'" I commented in hope of smoothing things over. The three of us began to walk down the stairwell now that our business in the temple was done. It had been so much scarier to enter this place than it was to leave it... I'd had a nice time talking to Nioto.
"What color is apple?"
"It's a fruit, but they're usually red, yellow, or green." Keff squinted his eyes as if I was espousing nonsense. Betiara ventured the next question.
"Oh, I see. It means the two aren't comparable, because apples aren't orange." This seemed to satisfy her. I came so close to laughing that my throat began to hurt.
"It's, um, oranges are a fruit, too."
"Wait, then, what?"
"They're very different kinds of fruit."
"Who names a fruit the color it is? What about every other orange thing," Keff protested in a way that I found both hilarious and entirely reasonable. "Have you ever eaten a blue, or a yellow?"
"I didn't invent English," I laughed along with my accompanying friends. "It doesn't make sense to me, either." Our spirits were all lighter as we left the temple and made our way back to the house. People still looked at us as we quietly spoke among ourselves about the merits of color names, laughing much of the way through. I noticed some of them smiling at us. A child even approached us along the way and asked to shake Betiara's paw. Her expression melted into a genuine, warm smile as she obliged the request, and I got to see her tail wag again. This towering, tough creature of a woman was absolutely adorable when she felt happy enough to show it. I was happy that she was getting this kind of recognition; she needed it far more than I did. The kid happily hopped away through the snow once he was satisfied; getting to see a real werewolf up close was terrifically exciting for him.
"Cute kid," Keff said with a smile of his own.
"Yeah." Betiara's tail was still wagging from the encounter as we reached the house. We found that Sekvi, Rags and Lilika had gone somewhere while we were out. The house was warm, which meant they had used the fireplace for some amount of time. I wondered what that had been like for them. Keff and Betiara sat on their respective cots to discuss battle tactics while I put my newest spell together. It was, like Prestidigitation, very complex due to the wide effects it could provide, but I anticipated it to prove itself useful by that same merit. I found much meaning in the content of this spell's assembly. It was meant to increase one's potential, to instill a boost in areas one found themself to be lacking or to further polish an already storied skill. I occasionally paused to listen into the conversation happening across the cinder block from my cot. Betiara was speaking of using precision, efficiency, and speed to inform her combat, while Keff found it perfectly acceptable to smash a target into oblivion with his hammer. Having seen evidence of both styles proving effective in the heat of battle, I imagined that both approaches had their merits.
I used the last of my ink to put the finishing touches on my newest spell. Keff volunteered himself for testing after I described what it should have been able to do. He led us to a section of the wall that was being repaired and demonstrated that a particular rock had been resistant to the crew's chisels, but would make great flagstones once it could be worked. I focused my intent on Keff's intense strength with the desire to further his ability. A strong red glow highlighted his form for a moment before fading away, and he remarked that his hammer felt lighter in his hands. With others watching us, he wound his hammer back and lay a mighty strike upon the boulder that managed to split it in half. The crew cheered on the demise of the enormous hunk of earth as Keff's hammer rained splintering blows upon it. An enthusiastic grin was exchanged between the three of us as Betiara and I watched our dwarvish friend make short work of reducing the stone into usable sections. We were thanked for our contribution with a glass of ale each, and my friends wasted no time in making a game of it. Keff tilted his head back and drained it in seconds, with Betiara coming in second place. I wondered if I could use my new spell to increase my proficiency in chugging.
Once we had once again returned home, we had a discussion about movies. The others postulated which stories they knew would make good movies while I gave my incidental impressions of their ideas. Betiara was enthused by my evaluation of The Sun and the Sand sounding as if it would make a great western. The topic drifted to cowboys and their Mexican origin being vaqueros, then made a sharp left turn into the geopolitics of North America and Akkalsta, which was the name of this continent. Nereva was the name of the country we resided in, and we were within its North-central reaches here in Letvel. To the North of the country was an icy waste that comprised a no-man's land, to the South lay the heavily forested country of Mervain, and the flatland country of Ygsild covered the western border. To the East, of course, was the Cradilan Ocean. I did my best to memorize all of this information with the thought that it would likely come in handy in the capital. Among our group, only Sekvi had ever been there. Now, however, they, Lilika and Rags were walking through the front door.
"I have news," Sekvi announced with a flourish of their sleeve. "We've been given approval to join the crew of a river boat on Fifsday, should we decide to leave then! As well, with Lilika's assistance, I've written a new song that I promise will be captivating to its audience." The grin they had worn while announcing their song's effect was a devious one. I imagined that it would be of some use in battle.
"So, are we going?" Betiara ventured to the group as Lilika closed the door behind her. We all gathered around the cinder block to discuss our options. No one was sure how to answer that question. I looked over to Lilika as she pensively pet over Rags' head.
"The other day we decided to stay the week," I quietly reminded the group in an effort to get the dialog moving. "Are we ready for that? And how far away is Fifsday?"
"Two days from now. I'm ready. Knowing that my actions yesterday have reached people, and seeing people of all ages smiling at me after I was afraid to go outside today... my path forward is clear." That would give us four days in Letvel rather than the seven we had planned. Betiara hadn't changed her mind; I wondered if Sekvi had.
"It is my view that we should see this option as a compromise between expediency and stability. Consider that while we travel, we can still deepen our connections to each other. That being said, I once more cast my vote for leaving when we have an early opportunity." They had not changed their mind. I felt the point Sekvi made could have been useful during our discussion on... Firsday? That seemed to be the naming scheme of the days of the week.
"They won't change their minds, Lilika," Keff whispered. He crossed his arms as he considered Sekvi's point.
"I know. I still think we could use more time," she whispered in return. "Madison needs stability."
"She has us. We'll be on that boat for a while." Sekvi chose now to clear their throat and look to the whispering pair.
"Thoughts to share, friends?"
"At this point, I say we might as well go," Keff relented. "I think yesterday proved we can trust each other enough to be crammed in a boat without resorting to blows."
"I still feel we could all use some consistent circumstances while we have them," Lilika countered. There was genuine worry in her voice. "We helped save the city from that monster; couldn't we enjoy it for a few days? Plus, I... down there, there's not many trees. I want to see new lands but it's not what I'm used to and it's so far from home; I want to die where my husband died and living in Letvel's already a compromise of my comfort." Nobody knew how to respond to her heartfelt statement. None of us wanted her to feel like she was being torn away from her familiarity she'd had before some of us were even born. Lilika cared, deeply, and it hurt to see her upset by the idea of moving so far forward.
"We may not be there long," Sekvi gingerly offered. "The mayor's report isn't due to be sent for some time; there is information we simply can't provide in an envelope. We will not let you die away from home if that is what you wish."
"We might not, but we might be there for a while yet. ...Madison?"
"I don't want to vote to go if it'll hurt you that much, Lilika." The druid stared me in the eyes, lingering on me expectantly.
"What do you want to do?" What did I want to do? Staying meant further desecrated bodies, looting, who knew what else, and going meant inflicting dispassionate upset on someone that cared about me. I felt stuck; I couldn't make this decision. If it was to a vote, we were already going to go now that Keff was changing his mind, but my answer was still going to mean something. All eyes were on me. I hated every second of this feeling.
"I need to understand this world better. I landed here without language, and I only just got to talk to another dragonborn two weeks in. There will be more down there, where I can learn more about my body and social expectations and... there are probably huge magical resources in Nereved." Sekvi began to speak, but thought better of it. I assumed they were going to confirm my suspicion about my learning opportunities in the capital. "We're all putting roots in each other, but I don't want to dig up the ones you've already put down for yourself, Lilika. Does this mean you're going to stay here?"
"No. Like I said, if you go, I'm going, too."
"Why, then, if leaving and spending time in the capital will hurt you?" Betiara was the only one among us to have the wherewithal necessary to ask that question. The room fell silent as everyone's attention fell on Lilika.
"I think we can all guess what Madison's life has been like," she began, an audible lump forming in her throat. "That girl needs a mother. I'm, just, me, a widow to a bear, the strange woman that lives in the woods, but I just can't bear to leave her so lost like she is." Lilika's choices began to make more sense to me now. I couldn't begin to understand how I felt about this. My body did, however, and began to cry.
"Lilika..."
"Sweetie, I've lived 47 years of the same life that gave me so much and took so much more of it away. My magic, my memories and my good boy Rags are all I have left now. My home is gone. As much as I want to, I can't go back." Lilika stood from her chair and shrugged her speckled coat off as she wiped her eyes. "We're all in that position. And... Sekvi, if you-"
"No," they said quietly. "But thank you, Lilika. Sincerely. That is a peace only I can make with myself."
"Well alright, then. Madison, it doesn't even have to be all that. I look at you and see someone that could be so happy and confident, and I know that because I always felt like an outsider in this world, too. So did my husband. You don't need to go through that, for however long you're here. What I want is to help you make good decisions for yourself and help you use the love you have, but haven't gotten to use." I felt so bare. She had seen my existence to its very core and exposed a need I didn't even know I had. That was the source of all of her assertions: connection, closeness, support. These principles were universally helpful to this group, but she knew that I perhaps needed them the most. My eyes flowed steadily without their usual accompaniments of swollen sinuses and outwardly heaving emotions. I felt as if time itself had stopped, and that I had stopped along with it. The warmth I felt from the group's care ran cold with uncertainty. Accepting this offer of paraparental care felt premature and devastatingly risky to my emotional wellbeing, but refusal felt the same. What could I say?
"I... still don't want to be the reason you lose the roots you have."
"I'm just upset, emotional and in denial, sweetie. It's all just hitting me now, I think, but I mean what I said." Lilika's eyes were tearing up as well. "There's nothing for Rags and I in the valley anymore. You know what roots do? They deliver moisture and nutrients from their surroundings to the stalk so that the heart of the plant grows healthy and full. Betiara's setting a real good example for us to follow so I need to let that come up through the roots, and I know I'm not going to change anyone's minds." Her difficulty felt as if it was an ocean compared to my puddle.
"What would help you right now?"
"A hug, probably," she responded. I stood and hugged Lilika without a second thought. My stature, much more than hers, would hopefully provide her with a feeling of safety and protection as I closed myself around her. We quietly cried together as the deeper sources of our trauma bubbled to the surface. "You're real tall up close," I heard a strained voice say below me.
"It's weird to be this tall now. I'm huge, haha..." I wrapped my tail around Lilika to form a more complete embrace. I was getting so used to it, that I hadn't noticed that it hadn't been dragging in the snow. It simply felt like part of me now, as did magic, as did Lilika. "Imagine what it would be like to be a bird and fly over a whole city. How big you'll feel, how small everything else will feel. I've always dreamt about doing the same thing over Lancaster."
"That sounds wonderful. Maybe one day you can do that."
"Wouldn't it be cool to fly together?"
"There is a spell called Polymorph that you could learn," Sekvi gently suggested after clearing their throat. It sounded like they were close to crying, too. "And guess what school of magic it falls under..."
"Transmutation," Lilika said with a laugh.
"We may gain another wizard in our party, everyone."
"Let's hope so," I said, unsure of what else to say. Further words quickly found me. "If we go to the capital soon... let's do something big together and really make a root system out of it." I felt Lilika stand back, and she looked up at me with a smile. Her eyes were wet, but I could tell she felt better now that she was confronting her own hurt, the same as I was.
"I know just the thing," she announced, glancing out the window. The sun was setting. "I saw a great spot for stargazing the other day. ...who's up for a walk? We'll get food on the way." Everyone volunteered themselves, including Rags, who barked his enthusiasm in praise of the idea. We left the city as a group and located a bushel of torberries on our way to the foothills to the Northwest of the city. It took us some time to reach our destination: a snowy stone outcropping at the foot of the western mountains. We all pitched in to brush the half-melted snow away from the stone so we could sit down without getting ourselves wet. Lighthearted discussions were abounding as we huddled around the cinder block. After some time had passed, the clear night sky slowly began to light up. Star after star twinkled through the inky darkness, followed by distant nebulae and even a single shooting star. On Earth, when one saw a shooting star, they were supposed to make a wish. Telling anyone this wish would ensure that it never came true, so I decided to keep this fact to myself in a small indulgence of wonder. Betiara had propped herself up against a rock, and I sat between her legs with my back resting against her. Keff and Sekvi sat together on my right, and Lilika was holding my left hand. Rags had lain himself across our boots and Betiara's exposed paws to keep everyone warm. He was a very good boy.
We watched the stars for hours as Lilika and Sekvi taught us all about the constellations. I noticed the white speckles on Lilika's fur coat begin to glow white once the night sky was in full force; not even Letvel's light could dim the majesty of what we saw above us. Several animalian patterns were pointed out to us in turn, but Lilika stopped when she pointed at one of them. No words came from her mouth. Instead, she stood and walked to the far edge of the outcropping. Her legs shook and brought her to her knees as she began to wail an anguished cry of sorrow that knew deeper meaning than words. We all relocated to her and comforted her in the ways that we best knew how. Sekvi played a gentle song. Keff supported her as we helped her to her feet. Betiara gently pressed her neck to the back of Lilika's head, and I draped an arm across her shoulders. We all felt her pain, and while the others had their suspicions of what caused this upset, I didn't dare make any assumptions. She raised a hand and traced the shape of the constellation before splaying her palm as if touching its entirety. "Ursos is an autumn constellation... his favorite season. He's with the stars now." The enormity of this moment reduced me to my barest self, a ball of confused emotion within an ever-changing shell as I stared upward with my mouth agape. My wish had come true.