The house was warm this morning. I tentatively opened my eyes to assess my surroundings. Betiara was my only company, judging by the sounds of her calculated exhales as she practiced martial forms in the other room. My eyes closed and brought me into a hazy state of half-sleep. The cinder block on the floor and the enchanted cloak I was using as a blanket kept me pleasantly warm while my mind wandered nebulous visions and half-formed thoughts. It was impossible to tell how long I spent in this state before I finally felt awake enough to rise from my cot and stretch. "Morning," I gently called to my lycanthropic friend.
"Morning. How'd you sleep?"
"Not restfully. You?"
"The opposite. I feel a lot better after yesterday." This was good news. Betiara had been going through something I could only conceive of, with her religious interests and finding solace within them. She was very much a doer; I wondered how she would seek to entertain herself while everyone else was out.
"I'm really glad to hear that. Do you have any plans for the day?" I shuffled over to the counter for water and breakfast. Lilika had, as she often had, left us a set of enchanted berries.
"None. What about you?"
"I need to find a way to make some money for ink. Sekvi wasn't kidding; keeping a Spell Tome is expensive." After transcribing a more difficult spell yesterday, I found that my familiarity with and passion for Transmutation magic eased my compositional process within that school of practice. Other schools of magic, however, had me comparatively floundering. I would need more ink and more time to make sure I had assembled everything correctly. "I need a way to make 100 gold as soon as possible so I can get another spell down before we leave."
"That's a tall order," Betiara observed as she took a berry as well. My new body had acclimated me to being taller than most others, but I felt small next to her lycanthropic form. It inspired a strange feeling of safety in me. "Any ideas?"
"None at all." Knowing that a gold and two silver was high pay for my work at Keff's smithy told me that this was likely a fool's errand. If only I'd known a spell that could create free money...
"We could look at neighborhood post boards," Betiara suggested, "or check city hall. There may be easy bounties to pull."
"Bounties? I don't know if that's my thing..."
"Fair enough." She looked me over with an appraising eye. I hoped she found a positive answer to whatever she was searching for. "My grandpa might have something for us, even if it doesn't pay the full amount that you need. If we don't find anything, we'll have passed some time." It was hard to argue with the prospect; there was little harm in asking. Betiara's presence may ruffle a few odd feathers in others, but I trusted the confidence she showed me. After all, I was new in this world, and she was apparently far worldlier than I was. I donned my wizarding gear and mentally prepared myself for socializing with strangers early in the morning, which added another tall order to the day's tally. The weather was clear and sunny once again, which allowed for easier transit on our way to the other side of the city. I saw Keff by the North gate on our way out; he was pointing up at the destroyed arch in the middle of the wall as he addressed a team of masons. I considered waiting until he was done so that I could ask his opinion on how I could quickly make a large sum of money, but I didn't feel my needs were important enough to disrupt repairs to critical infrastructure.
Letvel City Hall was much busier this morning than it had been on the night we arrived. People of all shapes, sizes and colors swirled around Betiara and I in a hectic blur of motion. She was given a wide berth, which she used to her advantage as we made our way into the building. We approached the job board, which constituted a large wooden board that featured neatly-organized job postings in the stylings of a medieval Craigslist. None of the postings were in a language I could understand, of course, so I decided to watch her facial expressions while she looked over the board. The focus of her gaze was impressive to me; seeing her ears move was a bonus. "Do you have any spells that could help with construction?"
"Enhance Ability, but it takes a lot out of me and probably wouldn't... be that useful outside of breaking rocks or lifting them."
"Hmm. 'Chef Needed: Emergency.' That's five gold for a full day... there's not much here." Betiara crossed her arms and looked down to me. "Short of bounties, I don't know if we're going to find anything." So that was it, our options were dry unless I wanted to temporarily act as a libertarian cop. That wouldn't happen as long as I had breath in my body. I could potentially consider such work if the person in question had done something truly terrible, and I was the only one that could help, but even then that would ideally be left up to the community. Letvel was not my community; I was only floating through on my way to the capital. I wondered how Sekvi had managed to raise this much money while being raised on a farm... their parents must have been successful. Part of me felt guilty that I hadn't tried to meet them, while the other part of me felt that I hadn't had a good reason to do so, and these emotions whirled into an impotent morass of regret. These feelings reminded me of my similarly conflicted feelings over what Lilika had presented last night. Me, a person with a parent? What would that be like? How would that work? Was that really something I so clearly needed?
"It's so loud in here," I expressed amid my dejection.
"Yeah. We could go find Sekvi and ask for their advice; they've probably done this before." I wondered why I hadn't thought of such a practical idea, myself. My emotions were all twisted up and it was affecting my head. Waking up to brave the cold less than an hour ago wasn't helping me feel any better.
"That's a great idea, yeah!" Betiara and began to make our way toward the entrance when we saw Ettistor attempting to part the crowd on his way to the far side of the room. "And I can ask grandpa if he has something for you. Hey, Ettistor," she called as we approached the elder elf. The crowd readily stood aside at the sight of a large werewolf moving through the building, which afforded Ettistor a much easier journey forward.
"Ah, Betiara, Madison, hello again. I'm afraid now isn't a good time; we're to sign a trade agreement with Ygsildan officials today, and our translator has taken ill..." he explained, trailing into a sigh. "They will not appreciate postponement. If possible, please return this evening, after the office has ceased its daytime operations." I imagined a lot of new negotiations had to be made after the earthquake had decimated a lucrative leg of the northern trade route. I was about to offer my condolences when I realized that Ettistor was in need of a translator. Who better to offer translation than someone wearing an enchanted necklace that translated all unintelligible sounds into their appropriate languages, with regional dialects and all? My train of thought diverted again when I realized this was a matter of high-level bureaucracy, which was something I had no idea how to handle. My studies, however, needed to continue. The only favor I could lose was in the eyes of a person that wouldn't be seeing much of me after tomorrow.
"I could offer my services," I offered while simultaneously, aghast at the potentials of where taking such a risk was coming from. "I can speak several languages."
"Oh?" Betiara looked at me with a look of confusion that quickly bloomed into relief. She gave me a thumbs-up while her grandfather looked me over. a gesture she had seen me give to others in similar circumstances. "I suppose a wizard's presence would affect some esteem. Yes, come quickly, Madison. We will speak of compensation later." I could tell that he was speaking in a language other than Common when he addressed me, likely a quick test of my ability.
"Absolutely! Right behind you." I gave Betiara a look that could only communicate, 'oh shit,' as her grandfather and I moved further into the crowded center of Letvel's economy. There was no telling what I was in for. I frankly had no business doing this work. I trailed back and quickly cast Prestidigitation to clean my clothing, closely followed by Enhance Ability to give my social skills a boost. Ettistor and I traveled up a large staircase that brought us to the second floor of the building as I inundated myself with the trappings of Transmutation magic. In the midst of my jumping into the metaphorical deep end of the pool without a life jacket, a terrifying thought reached me: what if I was required to read or write at any point during this exchange? I had Comprehend Languages, but that was relegated to a ritual casting, which would surely slow negotiations to a crawl. That simply wouldn't do.
"Now, Madison, judging by your lack of reaction to my granddaughter's earlier display, I imagine you're versed in discretion."
"I like to think so."
"Very good. These agreements are all above board, of course, but the proliferation of these proceedings could result in monopolies being formed. This would shame us all. Anything you hear behind these doors must be kept to yourself and only to yourself."
"I understand completely. You're putting a lot of trust in me; I'm going to do my utmost." Writing, secrecy... another wily idea materialized itself right in front of me. "I have an idea to better assure security," I offered, going out on a limb. This seemed to inspire curiosity in Ettistor as he looked to me with a raised eyebrow.
"Your suggestions are welcome."
"I've created a personal cipher that I use to protect my Transmutative discoveries in my Spell Tome. Here." I opened my tome to a page of notes I had taken while composing Comprehend Languages. "I could do the same for your documentation of the agreements. That would allow only those with magical means or someone intelligent enough to crack the cipher to read the documents, which, if the information gets out, will drastically narrow your list of perpetrators."
"Aha! Perhaps I've judged the talents of Arcane magicians with undue haste. A wonderful security measure indeed, Madison." I couldn't believe I had effectively conned my way into this opportunity. My life in the Cradle would have gone very differently if not for Sekvi's kindness in providing me this necklace and the means with which to begin my studies. They likely had to be opportunistic in similar ways when they began their own. I would do my teacher proud today, or make an irreparable fool of myself in the course of trying. "This door here. I hope you've eaten, as this will take us some time to complete." With assurance that I'd had a filling breakfast, we stepped into the room to begin negotiations. My position and abilities were explained to the other party, who consisted of three well-dressed men: an aarakocra that reminded me of a hawk as we tapped our respective beaks, a horned and tailed humanoid with red skin, and what I gathered to be an orcish man. Their fine clothing only served to contrast the look of hardened survivors; I imagined that the cold wind that blew from their country necessitated hardiness of its residents. We exchanged greetings with each other as two of Ettistor's consorts joined the room. I took my position to the side of the table, between two parties as they began negotiating.
To say that it was a long, dreary affair would be an understatement. The earthquake had collapsed several smelteries on the other side of the western mountains of the Valley, which I had just learned to be named the West Karth range. This discovery similarly informed me that the other set of mountains, those that Lilika and I had explored in search of quartz, were the East Karth Mountains. The Ygsildan representatives were interested in using Letvel's smelteries to process their ores while their own facilities were being rebuilt. It was a temporary agreement, but the amounts that were being negotiated were astonishing; they had ten ships ready to sail down the river as early as tomorrow, packed to the gills with various materials. Ettistor gently insisted on a flat percentage of commission based on the amount of ores produced, as this would offset the slowing of Letvel's own production, and the two parties went back and forth over several rounds of numbers. There was a surreality to the discussion as I realized that this meeting could easily be conducted in Common, but the Ygsildan representatives had a cultural reason to communicate in Orcish instead. The documentation I made was in English nonetheless.
I began to wonder if leaving this mark of my provenance was a wise decision. What would happen if someone found out I was from another world through this treatise? If someone else recognized this as English, and they had some negative interest in me, they would likely know more than I did about both worlds and could easily harm me. On the other hand, no recorded example of my experience had happened during the past several hundred years, if Sekvi's studies were to be believed. The chances of this very specific form of ruin to me was admittedly slim. I did my best to internalize that fact as I recorded various points of the agreement both parties made. A sinking feeling crept into my stomach as I realized that Betiara was on her own right now. She had been so afraid to leave the house by herself, a fear I empathized with. Had she overcome that fear, or had she done the sensible thing and gone to find another of our friends while I took one of the biggest risks I had ever taken in my life? None of the diplomats seemed to question my expertise regardless of my age or apparent heritage. It felt like something could go wrong and expose me at any moment.
Nothing bad happened regardless of my errant efforts to tempt fate's hand. Things went smoothly, if slowly, as I had been advised they would. The Ygsildan party thanked me for my third party supervision and the security measures I had taken. They left with their own copy of my records and confidently spoke amongst themselves of hiring a courier to deliver the good news to their capital city of Yrksand. As soon as they left, the two representatives that stood with Ettistor, respective foremen of the largest smelteries in the city, voiced their displeasure at not receiving a higher percentage than they had. Such were capitalist politics; I supposed every world had its flaws. The mayor offered me a weary look as the foremen left the building nearly three hours after we had begun. "It went better than I expected," he remarked, "I was certain they would have pressed harder for per-unit transactions instead of a percentage."
"They were in a tough position," I observed with a smile of understanding.
"A tougher one than we. Thank you for your assistance today, Madison. Now that work is done, what do you see fit to charge for your services?" Ettistor rested in his chair with a weary sigh. I wondered how old he was, and how long elves lived; I wasn't familiar with much fantasy media, but I knew elves tended to live a long time. His question caused me nearly as much anxiety as I had felt during the entirety of the meeting. I was utterly stunned that I was able to manage such a feat. Taco Bell could never have provided me with this feeling of accomplishment.
"What would you say to 100 gold?" The elder blinked as he inspected me with thoughtful eyes. I immediately wondered if I had asked for entirely too much. The fact was -- and I was sure he was aware of it, too -- that he didn't have to provide me with any money if he didn't want to.
"I would say you are a safe investment. Ah... in a moment." Ettistor lapsed into silence as he closed his eyes and relaxed into his chair. That fatigue was a feeling I knew well. "Is Betiara well?"
"She seems to be," I said as I took an adjacent seat. "I mean... we're all hurting, but I think she's dealing with hers well."
"Good. Her eyes never strayed from the path ahead. Nothing but praise of her deeds in Karthos Bend reached my ears here in Letvel. Lycanthropy was a surprise."
"It was. I had no idea."
"I had suspicions. Shifters receive an unfair social due, I feel, sewn by times of desperate survival largely passed. As I look ahead of myself, I see the minimal concern of such things in the future." Ettistor smiled with age beyond my comprehension. "My granddaughter's similar mind brings this old heart peace."
"She's... inspiring. I felt alone in my political views before I met her, but having seen the good she's done makes me feel lucky to know her." I heard what Ettistor was confiding in me as well as what he was asking for. My eyes drew low, faltering under the weight of what I felt. "Sekvi and I -- and probably the others, too -- will make sure people hear her." This affirmation seemed to ease Ettistor's concerns. His breath settled as he steepled his hands, deep in thought.
"The changes she made were ones I could not, but what else is the purpose of a generation? ...do you have desire to cure her of lycanthropy, Madison?" His left eye opened and honed in on me with intimidating clarity. I wasn't sure what kind of answer he was looking for, so I decided to tell him the truth.
"It's not what she wants." This answer surprised Ettistor for a moment. He was, however, satisfied as he stood from his chair and motioned toward the door.
"Allies are too few in this life, Madison. We will see you paid so that Betiara can witness your successful return." Minutes later, my bag was full of an absurd amount of gold coins after a mutually positive departure from the mayor's office. I found Betiara just outside, standing with Sekvi while the latter finished a song they had been composing. Both of my friends were happy to see me as I approached them. That was a very good feeling.
"The woman of the hour," Sekvi joked in light humor.
"How was it?"
"Not only did everything go well, I got to use English to create a cipher so that trade monopolies can be avoided. He gave me all the gold I need for ink! I feel like I got away with murder." I felt a hint of giddiness in the wake of my impossible success. This earned a laugh from Sekvi, and a wagging tail from Betiara. "But... it's a lot of money. I wonder if we should have a group fund, or something."
"We'll see what happens in Nereved first."
"I agree," Sekvi declared with a flourishing note from their symphonia. "Regardless, as you are of our number, it's best that you receive the materials you need in order to be your most effective. Are you feeling the strain of Arcane practice upon you? A great wizard is one that finds their path through the haze of matters such as money." Did I like that sentiment? ...no, I did not like that sentiment. I wondered if I could find a way to barter for ink in the future, and for now, I nodded my head in acceptance of the others' answers.
"Intensely. My luck will run out and I'll have to work in another kitchen to pay for my ink habit," I joked. "Where can I buy enchanted ink?"
"The temple," Betiara suggested.
"Letvel is not an especially magical city," Sekvi lamented, "So I agree with Betiara." Giving money to a religious organization was the last thing I wanted to do. I knew Nioto, however, and he had given me a good impression.
"Would you give your money to that church, Betiara?" She would certainly be a better judge of such things than I would. I was biased, and she was experienced. The way her tail stilled as she contemplated my question told me that my faith in her was well-placed.
"The people I recognized were people I trust. The new ones... I don't know. If you have reservations, you can ask if you can buy from the librarian's personal supplies." I hadn't considered that. Betiara was a life-saver.
"I'll go see Nioto then. Thank you for bringing me by here to check for jobs." I felt my cheeks begin to burn again. Her tail was wagging again; my self-consciousness revealed that mine was lazily curling at the tip before falling limp, over and over again. "Um, so, what's going on with you two?"
"Betiara here is providing a very helpful accompaniment to my songwriting!"
"I could go with you, if you want," she offered. It was nice to see Sekvi and Betiara spending time together. I didn't want to end their collaboration on my account; I could take care of this errand myself.
"I appreciate that, but you two are having a good time," I assured them with an appreciative smile. "Let there be music." Our spirits were high as we departed, with Sekvi's spirited return to music and creative questions for Betiara to answer and my confidence inspiring warmth in the cold air. Lilika's notion of us all deepening our bonds with each other was proving to be a great help indeed. Lilika... I quickly fell into a more pensive mood. Last night's starry display had provided her some of the closure she had needed. Despite my wish, there was no way I could take credit for such an apparition. The idea that her husband really was up there felt more secure and pleasant to me, and more real for my friend. I had no idea what to make of her offer, and I felt that I may not for some time. It wasn't every day that someone essentially offered to adopt me, and it wasn't something I had ever considered a possibility, much less a want or a need of mine. The people that had birthed me were never people I considered my parents, and I had grown accustomed to being alone in life as I made my way onward. Was I worth that kind of care? An uncomfortable feeling of vulnerability crept into me while I grappled with the origin of such a question. Quite a task of emotional reflection was piling up today.
"Nioto, hi," I breathed in Draconic as I entered the quiet of the temple's library. "Do you mind if I pull up a chair?"
"Not at all, Madison, please." The elder dragonborn didn't smile at me as he did yesterday, though his tone carried the same gentle welcome. He looked surprised to see that I'd taken him up on his offer to speak again so quickly. "What brings you by today?" We made a quick exchange of money for three vials of enchanted ink. This was one of the reasons I decided to talk to Nioto today, and with that errand out of the way, my second purpose could reach fruition.
"I don't... mean anything by this question, but you're religious, right?"
"I would say so, yes. Why do you ask?"
"I'm curious about some things, and I'm unsure about some other things. Betiara's going through her own things, so I don't want to bother her, and honestly it's nice to talk to another dragonborn." Nioto's surprise only grew as I outlined my intent to him. False starts of motions and speech became an earnest welcome as he sat forward in his seat to listen. "So... well, are you okay?"
"I'm... perturbed by questions," he explained as he concern filled his gaze. "Do you mind?"
"No," I responded, worry growing in my stomach.
"You appeared to be surprised when we began to speak in our tongue, and you removed a necklace that you were wearing. I don't mean to pry, but I'm curious about what you were experiencing in that moment." Uh oh. Given that this person had access to an extensive library, I didn't feel that I could use the lie that had been so easily dismissed before by Betiara. I also couldn't think of any way to discourage Nioto's curiosity without causing undue alarm.
"I never learned to read or speak Common. Sekvi gave this enchanted necklace that lets me speak with people." One hand lay my staff across my lap, and the other brought my tail to rest beside it. "The only language I know is Draconic, which I haven't gotten many chances to use." I was speaking the truth; I hoped that the librarian wasn't socially savvy enough to realize that I wasn't speaking the *entire* truth. Lying by omission was no more comfortable to me than lying outright.
"Ah... you've traveled this far North without being able to speak to the majority of people you encountered along the way? That must have been a lonely endeavor."
"I've been alone for a long time." The air in the temple seemed to still as I spoke the weight of my experience.
"I see. I'm sorry, Madison." He seemed to think better of his curiosity, but I could see it lingering in his eyes to match his puzzled expression. "You must feel lost. I've felt that way many times in my life."
"I do," I freely admitted, my tone approaching a more casual air. I was eager to move on from matters of my history, real or fictitious, and it was obvious that Nioto was only trying to be respectful. "And thank you. In all honesty, organized religion and I are old enemies due to the way I've been treated by observers of certain faiths. It seems to be helping my friend, though, even in a secular capacity. So it's... can you help me understand what people look for in this faith, and what they might find?" I felt like I was walking into the belly of the beast. A memory returned to me of a moment I'd experienced in church as a child. My poor excuses for parents were Baptist Christians and sought to force me into accepting their hateful way of viewing the world, my diagnoses of various neurodivergence, and my gender. Much of my adult life had been informed by a sense of opposition to religion as a given after I had been publically shamed for asking a pastor if god would make me a girl when I was 'born again.' Knowing how I had suffered, and knowing that many had suffered worse under genocides and structural oppression for many centuries due to the professions of dogmatic belief systems, had spurred me into defending myself and others against those ills. It had not earned me many friends. This hadn't ever bothered me in the slightest. A small glimmer of hope, however, burned for the possibility of the Cradle being a little different than Earth in that regard.
"I would love to." Nioto fell silent for a moment, leaning back in his chair a bit as he considered his position and mine. "There are some religions in the world that will actively recruit followers, profess answers to life's eternal questions, or assert rightness via a holy text of some kind. Lunata, and indeed her counterpart, Solinus, believed that there were better ways to provide the world with spiritual understanding. As the moon and the sun rise and fall every day, we feel confidence enough in our outlooks to recognize and encourage personal autonomy." He watched my reaction to this information, which was one of guarded, but pleasant surprise. I was, of course, taking his words with a grain of salt.
"That's a world apart from what I'm used to."
"Then I hope I can provide you ease, adherent or not. Madison, what do you think of light?" I remembered the lanterns in the church hall as well as the pendants the clergy wore here, including Nioto himself. This was obviously a central aspect of this religion.
"I think light is only given context through darkness. In a poetic sense, um, it lets us understand and evaluate. Illumination can mean plenty of things."
"Then you understand the point of these faiths entirely. Day and night, light and darkness, are inevitably linked." He looked relieved. I felt bad for inspiring anxiety in the elder dragonborn, but some amount of truth was required to meet him halfway in this discussion. "With illumination comes understanding, wisdom, and a path forward. Our purpose isn't to tell one what to do to find this path, what that path is, or where it leads. Our purpose is to give an individual the tools necessary to find their own way in this life." Betiara's reason for visiting the temple yesterday checked out with the philosophical side of this religion that Nioto presented.
"So it's more philosophical than concerned with, um, worship of a central deity?"
"Yes, that's exactly right. Lunata and Solinus, who were philosophers and their siblings in their canon, shared loneliness when their ideas weren't accepted by others around them. They ascended to the sky and created the stars so that they could share cosmic beauty with the world, thus proving their mission."
"So, what is that beauty? What was their mission?"
"They taught that beauty was a collective effort. Wellbeing, equality, compassion are all based in community. Is there purpose in having something wonderful if there's no one to share it with?" I thought of my magic, my friends, and the nature of individual experience. There were times when I enjoyed being alone, but the Cradle was teaching me how important it was to be open to connection, as well.
"Not really."
"I'm glad you feel the same way. The stars shine in different colors, in different sizes alongside the moon at night, but they are all stars. The siblings' mission is to teach others to observe these facets of kind philosophy. They aren't alone anymore, and neither are we; the stars wouldn't shine without anyone to shine for." I appreciated the poetry of this creation myth.
"I see what you're saying. The moon only shines because of its albedo reflects light from the sun, and if stars can all be on even ground, so can we."
"Yes! That's exactly it." I felt so bad for what was going to come next. He was relieved, even excited to be speaking to me about this matter, but I was cautious with religion for a reason. Did any of these beliefs factor into Betiara's observance of celestial bodies?
"What about here, though, in the Cradle, away from the stars? A practical person could say that we're not stars."
"They could, and they wouldn't be wrong. We... we don't believe that proselytizing ourselves to others is a good way to inspire or encourage others to find better ways forward in life. Lessons are best learned those that want to learn them." Nioto interlocked his fingers and settled them over his stomach, still reclining in his chair. "The sun and the moon exemplify themselves by existing, and doing what they do for the sake of others and the sake of doing it. That's something I try to observe in my life, as do other members of the congregation." I found that a fair answer. A religion that didn't try to force itself onto others, whether philosophical in nature or not, sounded entirely better to me than what I had grown accustomed to warring with on Earth. Betiara had given me only assurance when she learned that I was transgender. I expected Nioto would react in a similar manner.
"So that's your light?"
"I hope it is. It's the one I want to reflect from the moon."
"...I think it is. I have one more question."
"Please," he welcomed with a turn of his hand.
"How does this all help a person learn to find their own way?" Nioto smiled at the question.
"When one focuses on minding their own business instead of judging others, they learn to conduct it better." I couldn't help but smile at his answer. We shared a pleasant laugh, feeling satisfied that we had come to a mutual understanding with each other. Could that assertion be the reason he wasn't indulging in his curiosity any further. "You have the basics of Astralism now. What do you think?" In truth, I had several. The first thought was that if one was determined to improve themself, then one shouldn't need a religion to help them do it, and that they should simply improve themself. External input, however, had its merits and was indispensible in certain situations. Everyone needed a little help now and then, and utilizing a religion that wasn't harmful didn't cause any horizontal detriment in itself that I could detect. The examples that Nioto and Betiara set were ones I felt that I could get behind. At the same time, I wondered what other religions of this world were like, if the supposed siblings had felt so alienated in what I viewed as common sense to take to the skies and create stars to feel understood. I wondered, as well, why this church chose the trappings of lunar themes instead of solar ones. There was more to do today, however, and Nioto definitely had work to do that didn't involve me interrupting him.
"We're not enemies, not at all." I held my staff in place while I fidgeted with my tail in both hands. Challenging a person's position on purpose, no matter how justified, always filled me with anxiety. People often became so upset over accidental slights. "I don't think I'll be joining, but this is infinitely better than what I'm used to. Thank you for your patience and your time, Nioto."
"Thank you for coming to me with your questions, Madison." His eyes fell for a moment while he debated something in his mind. The elder dragonborn stood and retrieved a book from a nearby shelf filled with many like it. "I wouldn't feel satisfied with my contribution if you left without this. It's a Draconic-to-Common dictionary and translation guide; don't worry about returning it anytime soon, we have others. I want this gesture to exemplify what I told you today and reward the vulnerability you displayed today as you seek your path." The people I had met in this world had been so kind to me. A gesture like this would have been considered inconceivable until I met Keff and experienced his generosity. My eyes fell to the book, and I realized that I could read its title, which was exactly as Nioto had indicated. I remembered what it had felt like to hold my Spell Tome for the first time, and this felt very similar. Vulnerability, however, was present in me now. Tears welled up as I removed my necklace and accepted this gift more precious than the sum of its parts.
"Thank you, Nioto."
"I believe I understood you," He said in Draconic, a twinkle of gratitude in his eye. "You're welcome, Madison." My emotions were often dulled to an extent as an effect of the trauma I've survived in my short lifetime. I felt many of them now, very fully, as I felt my scope of this world broaden. Chance, not choice, had brought me here. It had brought me into new trauma in lack of my older ones, but it had also brought so many new experiences with it. Fire had brought me chill, but cold had brought me warmth. Magic, friendship, kindness... I wondered what would I would find next. For now, however, there was something I had to give this world first. I left the temple and returned to City Hall where two of my friends were still waiting for me. Before thinking twice, I closed my arms over Betiara in a hug and settled there. The feeling of being lost in a very big world was a feeling I hadn't allowed to fully reach me until now. I felt that I better understood how Betiara felt now that I was feeling it as well. The din of the busy city fell away as vulnerability and deep, deep hurt roiled within me. Strong, soft, gentle arms slowly closed over me in return. I felt safe here. I felt wanted. Betiara said something I didn't understand, but that was okay. I understood her better now than I had before. Confronting my religious trauma wasn't the reason I had gone to the temple; it was so that I could understand her better. I felt a hand rest upon my upper back.
"Madison?" It was Sekvi. My amulet gently fell back into its usual place as I stepped back to catch my breath.
"I got ink," I said through the lump in my throat. "And this. And I learned about Astralism."
"A Draconic-to-Common translation guide. That will provide us both with something to do during our approaching transit."
"We?"
"Well," Sekvi said with a smile as they placed a hand on my shoulder. "You'll need to learn how to translate Common into sounds. That's something we can all teach you!" That was enough to break the dam. My composure flashed off and left my dry. I raised a shaking hand to cover my eyes. This feeling, this care, was something I had been needing and missing all my life. I hadn't believed it could exist. A crucial part of my emotional guard shattered under the onslaught that beset me now. Betiara, ever diligent, closed herself around me in a protective manner. I felt her neck scruff press over my head in the same gesture she had shown Lilika the night before. Years of hurt, yearning and anger flowed out of me from places unknown. My heart itself, the physical structure of muscle that pulsed renewal through this new body of mine, ached. A muffled wail pressed against Betiara as my legs gave way. She and Sekvi followed me down. The three of us were embraced so closely that I could nearly feel tangible roots growing from one into another, a prophecy planted as a seed by another of our number.
"You did that for me?" I nodded my head against Betiara's armor. Her breath stopped for a moment, and I knew why. Just yesterday, my feelings on religion had been made clear to her. "Madison..." Motion began as I felt a paw gently draw itself down my back. It took several repetitions of this motion for me to realize what was happening. In spite of everything I was feeling, I started to laugh.
"The wolf's petting me back." Snorts erupted from my friends as my pain and our collective care for each other were joined by an awkwardly juxtaposed sense of shared elation. I found that it aided the excision of all that plagued me. This was love, and I was allowing myself to feel it. So simple a gesture, so simple a feeling; the feeling of transformation reached new heights in me. It was greater than falling into a new world. I felt like I had assumed yet another body, this one made entirely of gold. My consciousness was an allegorical, transitory state among the weave itself. Possibility was my new blood, and the withered happy parts of me stretched with its vitality. Security and hope flourished in tandem in each breath taken within this place. I still wasn't sure if I had remained human or if I'd become something different, but with each day, I was feeling more and more reluctant toward the idea of returning to Earth one day. There were irreplaceable comforts and familiarities in the life before this one, but Keff, Sekvi, Betiara, Lilika, and Rags lived beside me as we replanted Karthos Bend anew in ourselves.
Sekvi decided to take a break from busking to spend time with Betiara and I back at the house. We sat down together and ate some food we'd picked up along the way. It took me some time to recover from my emotional outpouring. I spent much of that time absorbed in the composition of a new spell. The way my self-protected walls had begun to shatter had inspired me to create a spell I could use to achieve a similar effect on my environment. I also recalled the way the burrowelter had raised its arms and crumbled the archway of Letvel's gate; such things could be used for more strategic purposes. As was my way, I called this new spell Shatter. It would have a forceful effect over an area, and would do more damage to constructs of solid material than to flesh. The expense of my ever-expanding tool kit was worthwhile in my eyes. As with my other damaging spells, I hoped that I would never have to use it for that purpose; violence wasn't a tool that solved problems, it only hurt them.
By the time my spell was done, Sekvi was ready to resume their busking. They lauded me with an encouraging song before they departed. My cheeks burned with embarrassment and appreciation as the front door closed, leaving Betiara and I alone together. Neither of us knew what to say to the other. The room was awkwardly silent even as Betiara sat next to me on my cot. I looked up at her in amazement as I felt the nebulous vibe in the air shift to something undeniable. "You feel it too, right?"
"I... think I do."
"You did an amazing thing for me today."
"It wasn't... well..." I couldn't bear to run the risk of letting modesty present denial of her feelings. "I wanted to understand what you were going through without weighing you down while you were going through it."
"Exactly," she said, nodding her head. "I just want you to know that I appreciate that."
"Of course. I'm happy it was helpful to y-"
"I like you." There it was. One of us had said it. My cheeks burned even deeper. I felt my mind scrambling for an appropriate reaction, but it was quickly lost in the jumble of conflicting emotions. Someone liked me! Not just anyone, but a very pretty person. A very pretty woman. I was getting ahead of myself; what if she only meant that she liked me as a good friend? I was being presumptuous of someone else's intent, which was a horrible thing to do. Considering that I liked her in both of those ways, I decided to reciprocate her feelings and see what happened.
"I like you too." A thumping sound began somewhere in the room. It took me a few seconds to remember my surroundings, which then informed me that I could feel the thump on the frame of the cot. The source of the sound was Betiara's tail. That was one mystery solved.
"Is it okay if I kiss you?"
"Yeah!" I had spoken before I even realized what was happening. "Wait. ...yeah, okay, yeah. Wait! I've never kissed anyone before!" Betiara's focused, yellow eyes flicked away for a moment.
"Do you still want to?"
"Definitely."
"Okay. Just the lips at first."
"Cool." We leaned closer together on the cot and closed our eyes. I felt her nose bump against my beak, then lower itself so we could kiss around it. Adrenaline coursed through me as we completed a small first kiss together. I giggled, unable to stop myself.
"What?" A smile accompanied the motion of Betiara's still-wagging tail. I could not get over how adorable she was.
"You tickle!" I saw her ears pull back as she lowered her head. Her tail came to rest. "Oh, no! It was just... cute. Unexpected."
"Oh, okay. Do you want to continue?"
"What's step two?"
"We tilt our heads a little, and be careful with our teeth."
"Oh." That seemed simple enough. I'd gotten a look at Betiara's canines before; they were rounded enough to not be too intimidating in this application, and mine were similar to hers in structure. The way she leaned her head down insinuated that there was more to the situation that I hadn't yet considered. "Oh. Is that a risk?"
"Not if we're careful. Do you still want to do this?"
"Yes, I'll be careful."
"Okay. Slowly..." We kept our eyes open this time. Our heads tilted in opposite directions to accommodate our respective snouts. I couldn't believe this was really happening. An exhilarating feeling shot through my whole body while we kissed. I felt the middle of my tail arch upward and lash like a whip behind me while Betiara's beat the bed. Moments after we had gotten a feel for each other and I had closed my eyes, I felt a tap on my shoulder. She held three digits up and raised her eyebrows. I closed my eyes again in acceptance of step three. Our tongues met each other in the middle with timidity. The result was electrifying; we both tasted like berry and mint from our breakfast and the mint leaves we had brushed with. My world was rocked as I felt Betiara's paw settle itself against my side. I returned the gesture by gingerly resting my hand atop her leg. Just then, the door opened, but we didn't realize it until we heard a familiar voice.
"Hah. You two just cost me a gold." With that, Keff left the house and closed the door behind him. Betiara and I had both stopped to look, our faces akin to deer in the headlights. Another unexpected sound greeted us as the cot creaked under the weight of two tall women, and gave way. I was dumped onto my back while I found a large, powerful, beautiful werewolf bracing her forearms against the floor to avoid falling on top of me. A strong tugging sensation gripped my lower stomach and caused me to squirm involuntarily. It was an impressively good feeling that I wouldn't soon forget.
"Sorry."
"For what?"
"Your bed?" She sat up so that I could past her at the broken cot.
"Shit." Where was I going to sleep tonight? I obviously couldn't sleep on her cot with her, but could perhaps use her abs as a pillow.
"Don't you have a spell that can fix it?"
"...yeah... yeah, I do! Thanks Betiara."
"Sure," she chuckled as she helped me up. I set about mending the bed with, well, Mending. "Was that a good first kiss?"
"Yes. I'd like to do it more." We shared a laugh as she held the bed in place while I drew my staff over the splintered sections of the legs. Wooden fibers drew together as if magnetized iron filings over a few short minutes of work. "When you were on top of me, um... I got a really weird feeling? A really strong, good one, in my stomach. Do you know what that is?"
"No, but I'm glad it was a good one." We stood and admired our handiwork as well as each other. Betiara was panting a little bit. The door opened once more to admit the rest of our group into the house. All we could do was watch them and wait for their reactions. Lilika smirked at us and pulled a heap of plants out from under her coat, placing them on the counter to begin processing them into food and medicine. Sekvi strode in with an overly dramatic display of confidence after winning a bet with Keff, who winked at us as he leaned his hammer up against the wall.
"So, I hear you girls were busy."
"I was teaching her how to kiss."
"How'd I do?" I whispered.
"You did great," Betiara whispered back with a grin. "That's all we were doing."
"You don't need to explain yourself to us, sweetie."
"I, Sekvi the Seer, knew that it was only a matter of time!"
"You made some money at city hall, too?"
"Oh," I exclaimed. "Yeah!" I proceeded to explain the events of this morning, leaving out any detail of the documentation and negotiations themselves. Everyone looked impressed except for Sekvi.
"Did Ettistor or the Ygsildans ask you for a key to your cipher, by any chance?" Questions arose in my mind as I considered Sekvi's question. I imagined he had staff that could use something akin to Comprehend Languages or code breaking techniques to read my documents... but then I remembered Letvel's reputation as a city with few notable practitioners of magic, as well as Ettistor's personal estimation of a wizard's usefulness.
"Oh, god damn it."
"Yeah. That sounds like grandpa," Betiara affirmed, bringing a paw to her face.
"That must be one of the changes that you made, and he couldn't."
"Yes, it, is." She clearly didn't think highly of her grandpa's sense of ethics. I wondered if some of her own grew out of opposition. "I'm sorry you got wrapped up in that."
"No, it's-, I should have figured. I just hope the original translator still has a job."
"Oh, certainly. We're leaving in only a day's time; Ettistor will have little choice but to retain their services." Sekvi was probably right. Still, I felt dirty. Now that I was steeped in that feeling, I realized it had now been six days since I'd had a bath. It was of dire urgency that I solve that problem; bathing on a river boat could be a risky prospect.
"So, are there any preparations we should make before we leave?" I felt it best to ensure that we were all on the same page.
"Pack our things, drop the keys off, take the day off, and take a bath," Keff listed, counting fingers on his hand as he did so. "Anything else?"
"I'll get some more supplies for food and hygiene for everyone," Lilika volunteered.
"Vaun gave me a scroll that I'd like to transcribe into my Spell Tome, but I need another 50 gold for supplies. I'll see if I can pull a more ethical miracle out of my ass this time." I was doing my best to prevent my accidental provision of a crooked deal from souring my willingness to entertain further ventures. This constituted a third tall order for the day.
"I'll cover it," Betiara asserted with a shake of her head. "I feel responsible for putting you into that situation."
"You weren't, you were helping me out and I volunteered myself." I appreciated the gesture, but felt the guilt I had earned was entirely my own.
"Will you still take it anyway?" She wanted to repay me for the favor I did for her... that was what this was about at its core. I didn't want her to feel that favors would be transactional as friends or as potentially more than that, but there would be time to discuss things during our journey to the capital. I also didn't want to be deny such a kind gesture.
"Yeah. Thank you, that's really kind of you."
"We need our wizard supplied and ready, don't we, Sekvi?"
"I should very much hope so!" They played a short, humorous fanfare on their symphonia. "In case this could inform your plans, the bathhouse may not allow you both to share a private bath." A mischievous smile overcame them and carried them into a good-natured giggle. It was my impression that they were entering some sort of gremlin mode again.
"Thanks, Sekvi," Betiara returned in sarcasm of equal nature. The light air of the room was a balm after such a tumultuous week. I found myself looking forward to the trip to the capital even if I would likely tire of it after a few days. It was new, hopeful, and I had enjoyed the first tastes I'd had of motion in my life. A weeks-long journey down a river to a new place sounded like a great way to shake some of my difficulties away. My attention was redirected to Lilika, who approached Betiara in a way that failed to be inconspicuous, and they began to whisper to each other. Betiara had to lower herself to closely hear what was being said to her; it was an amusing sight. I wondered what she and I were, now that we had acted upon our mutual feelings of interest. Calling ourselves girlfriends felt premature regardless of the passionate desire to understand each other that we felt and were still feeling. Good friends kissing each other didn't feel like a terrible stretch to make. I would have to ask her how she felt about the matter when we had a good opportunity to speak without our other friends' encouragement. Whatever Lilika said to Betiara had caused smiles and a wagging tail.
The afternoon transitioned into evening as we spoke together. A quick trip to the market provided us with ample options for food, with the readied supply planned to last us through tomorrow. Difficulties of the first half of the day melted away to reveal what I wistfully attributed to being shown a path forward. We were all deepening our roots within one another, and I could tell that Lilika was feeling less anxious about our upcoming travels by the day. She was quiet tonight, full of contemplation while she and Sekvi cooked. Keff reviewed his notes from the library while Betiara showed me her fighting forms and readily answered each question I had about them. Her movements were elegant and precise without a single ounce of strength being lost to either. I found her positively stunning. An examination of this finding led me to discover that the majority of my feelings for her came from her focus and her dedication to her ideals. That wasn't something I had seen much of on Earth. I had suffered for mine to a mildly privileged extent, but there had been costs I wasn't ready to pay. Betiara helped me believe that the sacrifices of myself and others for a better world were invariably worthwhile. As well, she inspired me to try harder by that same merit, which inspired me to make another important choice before the day was over.
"I was thinking about what you said before. I feel... conflicted, confused, but not because of what you said. It feels like I'm not worth that, that I've been on my own this long and should be able to keep doing that, since I'm an adult. At the same time, after today, I don't have any reason to say no." Lilika and I had moved into the spare room after Betiara finished with her forms for the night. We sat with our backs to the interior wall and watched the shadows from the other room dance along the floor while Sekvi practiced a new song they were composing. I met Lilika's eyes without trying to hide the vulnerability I was feeling as I gently wrung my tail with my hands. "So... okay. Yes. Please." Her right hand closed over my left.
"This doesn't have to be any kind of way. I want you to know that, and if it's not helping, then we can call it off."
"Okay. I don't really know what having a parent is like, so it'll all be new to me."
"I don't, either, but I've always wanted to know," Lilika chuckled. "We're all dealing with a lot, and we're dealing with it in our own ways. When I see you hurting like you do, I feel it, too. My goal is to give you something that will help you heal." She paused, her resolve appearing to falter for a moment as she sought to address my question before I could pose it. "You experienced something unique when you came here. The choices you make, what you're doing with the chance you have, and the willingness I see to engage with this world... that's special, Madison. You deserve to feel happy and worthwhile whether you do it here or the place you came from." I didn't have words to meet Lilika with. I felt overwhelmed in a good way, a way I felt I needed. In light of this, I simply adjusted my position and leaned my head against her shoulder to soak the moment in. The music, the shadows flowing over the empty room from the growing light of the street lamps, and this all coalesced into something quiet inside me.
"Okay. I'll do my best for you, too."
"I know, sweetie." An arm draped over my shoulders. The quiet feeling grew to encompass my entire being until Lilika posed a question. "You and Betiara, huh?" A center of passion alighted in the center of my inner silence.
"I think we're feeling it out. I'm not sure what to call us yet, if there's anything to call, but we'll talk about it."
"You two were feeling something," she joked. I snorted in spite of myself. "Do you want my advice?"
"Yes. I have no idea what I'm doing."
"You never know where life is going to go. Find a balance between doing your best and not stressing too much about getting it right the first time. Even with the way things went with Bear, I don't regret a second of it. Knowing him was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Knowing you feels like that for all of us, too." I couldn't imagine how I deserved comparison to such a unique and interesting person as Lilika's ex-husband, but it felt like the highest compliment I could possibly receive from her. My hand, still held in hers, tightened a little in recognition.
"Being here with you all feels the same way." Of all the ways I thought my life would go, dreaming of strings and stars that sent me to another world, making friends, learning magic, witnessing historical events firsthand, and kissing a werewolf were not bucket list items I had ever conceived of. Even more than I had before, I felt lucky to be here. I felt lucky to be alive and experience this at all. Had others that reportedly arrived from other places had similar experiences? It was my hope that they had, because I felt freedom and truth here in ways I had never conceived of on Earth. Gratitude radiated into the air and become part of the breaths others shared with me. This little house in a small city on a planet awaiting discovery contained so much promise for the future. I wondered what Nereved would be like, and what opportunities we could find there. A pang of worry settled into me when I thought of all the decisions, big and small, that hung upon the condition of what we would find there.
The household retired to bed at a more usual time than we had recently done; this irony was not at all lost on me. I recognized that this was likely why Lilika was initially so eager for us to settle in the city before we moved on: nearly a week had passed before we were resuming more familiar rituals of the day, soon to be abandoned for another set of them as we traveled Southeast. Before Betiara and I went to bed, we silently snuck back into the spare room for another kissing lesson. She told me that my skill was developing nicely, and despite an embarrassing aspect of this encounter that she took very well, we both felt that it was best to keep things casual until our trip to Nereved brought more concrete plans to our immediate lives. I began to feel it difficult to stray too far from her, and voiced this concern only for her to assure me that casual contact didn't mean infrequent contact. We stifled mutual giggles of excitement as our imaginations began to run wild. An embrace and a goodnight peck saw us both to bed. Embarrassment, excitement, and giddy wonder chased sleep from me until my pulse finally calmed enough to let me rest.