I didn't sleep well that night. My dreams were pleasant in the beginning, flying around the majestic peaks of Nereved. I felt free and light and without a care until it had all changed for the worse. The sky turned a deep red, and tightly-rolled spell scrolls pierced my wings to pin me against the walls of our apartment building. I struggled, crying, asking for help that never came. Then the ground began to shake. East Nereved's titanic hill cracked and fell while I was immobilized. My eyes had flicked open while the rest of my body was frozen with adrenaline. Betiara had left a small tuft of shed fur on the bedside table. I had smelled it and rubbed it inside the sleeves of my cloak in some hope that she would be able to find me today. My bed was my home for hours after I awoke to an empty apartment. The only comforts were my girlfriend's lingering scent, my blanket, and the fact that I didn't yet have wings to perforate. This depressive haze hung over me even as I heard Lilika and Rags return, walk to the kitchen, then leave again. I finally rose from bed around noon to see what they had left.
Enchanted berries lay on the counter. I took one and drew the curtains to allow the gray light of a cloudy day spill over the kitchen space. How I wished I could soar up and away, passing through the clouds to see a brighter world above me, living the life of a free dragon instead of this. Ignorance had been bliss, and that bliss had been shattered into jagged edges that now impaled me with every thought I had. I felt broken. I had no say in this experience anymore. This body was still something I appreciated, but now that I knew what I could be, it served as a reminder that I didn't know how to regain the hope and self-acceptance I had felt before. Overcome, my back slid down the left wall of the kitchen space as I stared longingly up at the clouds. This deep, penetrating ache felt as if it would snap my bones and drain all that I was out of my chest. It felt like my heart would stop beating entirely, like my soul itself would burn with the rest of me. I was in catastrophic, overwhelming agony as I reckoned with the thought that I had wanted to be a dragon all my life for a reason. Perhaps it was just wishful thinking, but smaller instances of this pain had been felt every time I beheld such a creature. Some part of me had known that this was the desired outcome from the start.
The arduous trek to the Ninth Ring had tired me beyond all belief. I found the view at the windy summit of the city to be just what I needed in order to break myself out of this mire of depression. Wind rushing against my left side ironically inspired a sense of calm. A contented smile came over me as I exhaled a sigh through my nose, only to make a trilling sound I'd never made before. I tried to recreate the sound to no avail. What had that noise been? It was obviously a happy sound, but it seemed to be involuntary. I eventually had my fill of the chilly wind and decided to search for the Arcanist Conclave in lack of anything better to do. If I was going to claim myself as a dragon, studying magic would likely hasten my pace toward my goal. Inquiring the location of the Conclave led to a guard pointing me into the interior of the Fifth Ring. I rode the lifts down until reaching the indicated level, finding them to be marginally safer than the lift in our apartment building. The giant, slow elevators eventually brought me to my destination. To the right of the lift terminal was a tunnel that led into the rock, with another on the left. I imagined the right side to be the entrance, since I wasn't willing to ritual cast Comprehend Languages out in the open.
Given the lack of opposing traffic as I entered the tunnel, I had chosen correctly. The walls into the underground were decorated with stone arches with supports of wood and stone that stretched between them. This tall, comparatively narrow space made me feel as if I was entering a special area indeed. I emerged from the narrow tunnel into another corridor. A set of two ramped staircases corkscrewed widely over each other before me, one with people heading up, the other heading down. I observed a circular area encompassing this impressive architectural display, lit by magical amber bars of light that attached to various elements of the chamber. Finally, a set of smaller passages continued into the mountain beyond this point, with a sloping, U-shaped passage branching to my left and my right. The light breeze gently flowing through the Underground told me that the air flow inside was adequate. I took this opportunity to clean and mend my clothing before proceeding to the passage opposite the entryway. Part of me wondered if I was being sent headlong into a trap, given the mild amber light, the hive of people moving around me, and the apparently hidden nature of this place.
This hallway carried me further into the East hill. Before long, I found another U-shaped cut through the rock. Across from me was a path that led further still, with luminous yellow-white orbs hung over a verdant bouquet of flowers that stretched for some way. Recessed water features were plentiful along the flower beds, flowing crystal clear as they reflected the light above. It suddenly felt like I had stepped outside once more as I passed the flower gardens. An aged set of colored stone murals adorned either side of this walkway as I explored further. They depicted various images of landscapes, magic being done, creatures, and important figures. Gleaming metal plaques that explained these scenes were unfortunately lost on me. I came upon a tall set of open wooden doors at the end of this hallway. Much of the decor was that of polished wood that nicely complimented accents of various stone, painted sections of orange, and eight enormous tapestries that enshrined the Nereved banner in the center of the opposite wall. What appeared akin to a cozy lounge sat behind the reception area. I passed several robed individuals and a selection of reading materials on my way to the desk.
A stark moment of clarity struck me as I stopped in my tracks. This place... so hidden away and ornate, surely a treasure trove of magical study, was far above my talents. It didn't strike me as a school, but as a collective organization of professional mages. I was hardly of their ilk. Nereved was the capital of the country and the headquarters of the Arcanist Conclave itself. Who did I think I was kidding? Showing my face here would bring me only more shame, vulnerability and erosion of my self-worth. I had grown during the long boat ride, but I hadn't grown enough to feel confident in this environment. No, I was only a sick dragon that didn't know how to be one: broken, wingless, and stuck. My eyes fell and traced over the floor as I plotted a different course of action. I wasn't sure of the Sun King's motivations for pushing me in this direction, but unlike my friends, I couldn't show my trust to someone of his position. Chasing objectives before getting a true sense of the circumstances would only lead me to stumbling into an uncertain situation. If I was going to be a wizard, I was going to need to be smarter than this. A foundation had to come first.
I turned and began making my way back to the opening atrium of the Underground, heavy with a sense of defeat. The time I spent at the height of the city had helped my mood, but it clearly couldn't move the mountain it stood upon. I could come back with one of my friends to give me an emotional boost. Seeking one of them out would be a good idea here, but they were all doing work in securing work. Sekvi had told me that jobs wouldn't be freely offered by the Conclave. Paying work would have to be my first step in securing my place within Nereved. The problem was how dense the city was. I felt a mild sense of ever-present stress as I made my way past the various establishments of the Underground, which told me that I didn't enjoy being within enclosed spaces like this. Though it was unlikely to happen here, I felt as if the ceiling could cave in on me at any moment. Anything could be lurking in the gentle amber glow. I felt like a failure. Such a long trek and much investment from my friends couldn't even bring me to speak to a receptionist, much less to reclaim my true form. I told myself that I had to give myself time as I tried to steady my emotional course. If only Betiara were here to hold me...
I did my best to blend in with the throngs of people that pulsed through the Underground. Curiosity was an effective enough distraction for my woes, and mine saw me descend to lower levels of the city. My weary legs caught up with me within the Third Ring, and I decided to rest along the outside wall of its central atrium. This room, being on a lower floor, was larger than the ones above it. I recognized that I wasn't terribly far from my living space, which would be a boon to me after I caught my breath. My staff lay across my lap to prop my tome as I reviewed the material, eyes obscured by my hood. It was pleasantly warm in here without my cloak, but I simply needed a buffer between myself and the outside world. Absorb Elements, Shield, and Identify were spells that I hadn't yet cast outside of training exercises during my initial instruction with Sekvi. I decided to take this opportunity to cast the latter spell as a ritual, so that I could gain insight into the Cinder Block that I carried within my cloak. The small pearl provided by my starter component pouch was gently rolled around the stone until magical insight was granted.
It was a cinder block, of course. It warmed the air within a space nearby to an even 75 degrees Fahrenheit. Instant transmission of temperature would require a much more intricate item, so it would simply warm the air over a short period of time, similar to a powerful space heater. I noticed people occasionally glancing at me, which led me to raise my head and look around. It was easy to see a royal guard posted across the hall from me, pretending to look in some other direction. This annoyed me enough to stand up and continue my pace. As soon as I had done so, however, a door opened to my left. I reacted quickly, but not quickly enough for a body to come flying at me. My subsequent fall forward thankfully spared my beak from meeting the stone floor. I looked back to see what had knocked me down. A clearly inebriated human whose white hair showed signs of age was getting to his feet. I heard a voice from inside the establishment tell the man that he wasn't welcome back until he paid off his tab. A roll of his eyes preluded him noticing me. He offered a hand to help me up. "Sorry miss."
"It's fine," I said in a hurried tone as I got up on my own. This man was likely to fall over if I were to stand with his help. "Are you alright?"
"I'm great, thanks. It's an excuse to go to another bar!" I felt guilt rise in me; I couldn't help this man with whatever problem he was having. He started to leave with a pleasant, stumbling wave, but I felt like going out on a lark.
"How are the drinks in there?"
"Good prices for the Third Ring. Little place, smaller selection. It's alright."
"Thanks." I lingered for a moment as the man made his way toward another location. The sign above the doorway featured two languages that I couldn't understand. Stepping inside revealed an enclosed room with a few small tables. I estimated it to be around the size of a typical Chinese delivery restaurant. The bouncer, a large woman that I could only describe as a minotaur, gave me a nod that I returned seconds later. She was... wow. Her impressive horns almost distracted me from the fact that Betiara and I were official now. My cheeks burned slightly as I made my way up to the bar. The lack of seats at the counter required me to stand, but I hoped that that matter would soon be eased.
"Dragonborn, drink?" The bartender asked. I couldn't easily see her past the shoulders of a buff half-orc, but leaning over provided me the view a satyr woman of some kind. The white spots along her neck and shoulders clued me in to a cervine provenance. She was extraordinarily cute.
"Uh, please! Um, a, beer," I requested while illustrating the shape of a beer stein with my hands. This elicited a giggle from the bartender as she took a mug and filled it from a nearby cask. She presented the price as two copper, which I paid without question. I continued to be amazed at the variety of people I saw in this world. Light fur of brown and white adorned the roughly half-deer woman. What amazed me the most were her horizontal, rectangular pupils as she smiled at me. I was caught lacking as I unknowingly looked a little too long.
"Is everything alright?"
"I haven't seen someone like you before, and you're very pretty." The words had emerged in a clumsy fashion, and I sought to put a sock in it by sipping on my beer. It was good, and stronger than I expected it to be.
"Well, thank you," she said as she looked me over in kind. I supposed fair was fair. "I haven't seen you here before."
"I'm dipping my toes into the world of socializing." While true, I was trying not to fumble too badly in front of this stranger. I had some interest in returning to this convenient location for further drinks at a later time. "To that effect, um... if you'll pardon this question, is it considered rude to ask someone what they are, if you're not sure?" I immediately felt as if I had lodged my foot firmly in my mouth.
"Some might, but I don't mind. It's a big city. I'm a satyr, a deer satyr, to be specific." Her little smile widened a little. "You should probably ask someone their name first."
"I'm sorry, thank you. I'm Madison."
"Melli. It's nice to meet you."
"You too! I'm a dragon, born." That was close.
"Yes, you are," Melli laughed. "Your accent, you're from up North?"
"Yes, Karthos Bend." Melli's expression fell slightly as I delivered this news. She leaned against the wall as if settling herself in for a discussion.
"If it's not too upsetting, what happened there? The announcements, they said it was unconfirmed." I didn't know how to describe what happened, nor did I particularly want to revisit it. The reports were going to happen eventually, and for all I knew, this person had a good reason to be asking about the city.
"11 survivors. Um... earthquake. And fire. The whole town's gone." I took a long draught of my beer as genuine sadness fell over Melli. "I'm sorry."
"No, I'm, sorry. It's been the talk of the city for the past few days. Uh, your next drink's free."
"That's okay, but thank y-"
"No, I insist." I didn't have the heart to refuse her a second time, so I nodded my head. "Do you know what happened with the other towns?"
"As far as I know, the whole valley, um... Letvel was the first place we found that was intact. There were one or two hundred refugees in the theater when we left. The river was dry, and the wall was damaged. I don't know what happened over the mountains." I sighed, trying to let the warm buzz of the alcohol eclipse my anxiety. Other patrons had stopped talking to listen into what I was saying. They offered me condolences I hadn't earned, but I thanked them all the same. "We came here to spread the word."
"Well, thank you for doing that. I hear the valley was a nice place to live." Melli looked over the other patrons, and seeing that most of their attention was on me, pulled up a stool and leaned her arms over the counter.
"It was. You could see the stars every night... I don't know when I'll get to have sparkdrop again. I was right about to open a business, actually," I wistfully recounted as I drank more of my beer.
"What were you going to do?"
"Wash and mend people's clothes, for cheap, using magic." I shrugged and demonstrated this by pouring a bit of my drink onto my sleeve, then instantly cleaning it with Prestidigitation. "I figured it would be a good way to give people their time back." One of the other patrons began to laugh, but was swiftly given an elbow to calm him down.
"That's really cool of you to do for people. I'm sorry you lost your home," said the buff half-orc next to me.
"I mean... I feel lucky. So many people lost a lot more than I did."
"You have to live with it, though," he countered. I saw his point.
"And you shouldn't have to live it again," Melli confirmed, signaling the end of that subject. "So, Madison, you use magic?"
"I try to."
"Are you here to join the Conclave, then?" I sighed, briefly debating how honest I should be about my evaluation of the prospect.
"I stopped by, but it seems like a really serious place for serious magic users. I don't know that many spells, I dunno." Melli chuckled to herself at the thought. Clearly, she thought higher of my abilities than I did.
"Says the woman who was going to use magic as a profession," she observed.
"Yeah, what do you mean? You know what you should do?" I couldn't deny that I enjoyed the energy of this absolutely jacked individual.
"What's that?"
"Finish that beer, have another one, and show them what you're made of!" A few cheers erupted nearby. I smiled, as doubtful as I was of myself. "Yeah! Seriously, you should do it."
"Yeah, Madison! How many spells do you know?"
"11, or 15 if you count cantrips."
"That's fifteen more than I know," Melli affirmed. I finished my beer and looked away, overcome by bashfulness. The moment was made only more overwhelming as an enormous belch erupted from my stomach. I felt the beer immediately going to my head. My mug was already being refilled.
"Excuse me. I mean, I guess I could, but, like... oh, this is strong. The Sun King put word in for me and I feel like showing up drunk is a great way to get tossed out on my ass."
"Are you serious? You met the king?" Two of the men next to me gave each other a keen look. "Then you should definitely do it."
"I mean... maybe. Tall guy, beard, red hair, really, like, big vibes. He snuck up on me after I wasn't let into the upper mayoral, castle, because I have some weird magic on me." I need to smarten up; it was likely unwise to be saying these things. "He told me I should go to the Conclave and that he'd tell them I can be there. I don't know, though! I don't wanna be beholden to someone. I've always done my own thing."
"I can tell you one thing," Melli began, staring me right in the eyes, "if I got a chance to join the Conclave, I'd do it. You'll have 30 spells by the time you're done." I hemmed and hawed over the idea, already halfway through my second beer. This one was going down much more easily than the first. I felt more clear-headed as I drank this one down.
"It seems like it would be a bad idea to like, represent him like that. What if he, like, offs with my head?" Melli shook her head with a smile.
"No, that hasn't happened in a long time. Madison, what do you have to lose?"
"The opinion of someone I might never see again," I noted sardonically as I chuckled. Thinking about it, this would be a great way to undermine the king without outright angering him. He seemed kind of reasonable, and easy to amuse. "Okay, okay, I'll do it. Maybe I can do it. Let me just finish this."
"There you go, you're a great mage in the making, Madison! Wigh, Nolos, make sure she gets there safely? There's a drink each in it for you."
"You heard the lady, Nolos," the half-orc said as he stood from the bar. His friend, a similarly fit, tailed man with horns, stood with him.
"I'd join the Conclave just to watch this happen."
"These two are friends of mine, they'll make sure you get there safe." Melli gave me a genuine smile of encouragement as she offered a mint leaf. "Take this with you." I thought this whole idea was nothing but nuts, but with how my morning had gone and the liquid courage flowing through me, I was going to give it a try.
"Thank you all," I said as I used Prestidigitation to spotlessly clean my now empty mug. The mint leaf would go a long way in making it not immediately obvious that I was drunk. "I'm gonna give it my best. Let's do it." With that, and a thumbs-up from the very attractive bovid bouncer, we were on our way to the Interior Fifth Ring. I found my footing again by the time we reached the ascending ramp.
"So, how long have you been using magic?"
"Almost two months. I'm good, though. Sekvi the Seer trained me."
"They didn't!" Nolos was surprised by this news. "They turned my cousin into an alpaca during negotiations," he announced, and erupted into laughter. Nereved was a big city, but the Cradle was a small world. Wigh, while amused, decided to engage me on a different subject.
"I saw you looking at Gefra in there. She's pretty, right?"
"She's so pretty. I've never seen a one of her before. What is she? I'm sorry, I don't know how else to ask."
"She's a minotaur," he explained, "and she's single." While I enjoyed the idea of speaking with Gefra, I couldn't do so in good conscience.
"I already have one beautiful, muscular, amazing woman in my life," I confessed. "I wouldn't know what to do with two." Both of my escorts laughed.
"I might try talking to her then."
"Not if I talk to her first," Nolos insisted, which inspired further laughter.
"Nolos? Um, sorry to ask, but what are you?"
"I'm a tiefling. Our people come from partnerships between the devils of the underground and those on the surface. My ancestors spent generations among the calderas." His accent informed me that he was from elsewhere, now that I was more thoroughly hearing him speak. I had to find out where the calderas were.
"That's so cool. Everyone here is so different and cool."
"If this is your first time seeing a satyr, a tiefling and a minotaur, you must not have gotten out much." I had seen a tiefling once before, but I didn't care to correct Nolos.
"No, not really. Most of my life has been l-, alone." Nolos and Wigh gave me sympathetic looks as we passed the level of the Interior Fourth Ring.
"That's in the past," Wigh assured me. "I'm sure you'll make plenty of friends here."
"You made two, maybe three, in the bar over two drinks. You'll do fine, Madison." These guys were being very nice to me. I worried that they were going to mug me once we got to a secluded spot, but if they tried anything, my magic would be faster. Lilika had taught me a lot about trust, so that was my priority in this moment. It was my hope that trust would prevail.
"I hope so. Maybe this Conclave thing will go well, and it won't be another instance of, failing upward, you know? That's what most of my life has been."
"That's still upward," Wigh observed.
"I guess so. Sorry, I'm not trying to bring the vibes down."
"No, you're alright. Hey, you've been through a lot. It's time for you to win one!"
"That's right. You came all the way from Karthos Bend, which you survived. Your magic got you this far, and it'll get you through this, too." In a moment straight out of a comedy show, the two friends high-fived each other. I had so many people that I couldn't let down: the group I had traveled with, Nioto, Vaun and Rica, and now Nolos, Wigh and Melli may have joined a conclave of my own. The countless dead of Karthos Valley felt beyond my assumption. I felt that I was failing them all now, drunk and discouraged, all but shuffled forward by two near strangers and the boon of chance. The mint leaf provided to me eased the fire on my breath and the dread in my stomach, but it still wasn't enough. I wondered what would become the big picture of my time here. I was so far from Lancaster now. Only one of the homes I had lost had felt like one worth having, and that was the one that was gone to me forever. If Sekvi was right about the Banishment spell, I always had a way back to Earth. Earth... it had been so long since I thought of where I came from.
Suddenly I was 17 again. I was standing in my childhood room, trembling as chaos tore through my surroundings. The thing that called herself my mother had discovered my earliest efforts at transitioning: an outfit I had put together by scavenging Goodwill bargain bins to buy for my nonexistent girlfriend, and the hormones I had ordered from a pharmacy overseas. The other horrible thing that assumed an unearned name stood with his arms crossed in the doorway, shaking his head and looking down at the floor. I didn't dare move a muscle, much less speak in my own defense as the barest private details of my life were stolen or destroyed. Hell would be the cost if I were to remind either of them that I existed in this moment, and it was a price I had no means to pay. The strain of keeping myself still forced a cold sweat amid white-hot exertion. I had to stand there and watch as the only agency I'd ever achieved in my life was stuffed into a trash bag by my mortal enemies. She-thing angrily shook a tube of lipstick in my face.
"Lipstick?! Lipstick?! If you want to dress like a whore so much, I can give you an audience. Put it on."
"No, he's done enough of that." He-thing wasn't taking this the slightest bit seriously as she-thing was beginning to shake with rage.
"No! Your son wants to dress like a slut, Steve! I say let him! It'll be the last time he ever does it."
"My son? Yeah, right. You were two-timing me with Roger the year before. He's your son if he's anyone's."
"Put the fucking lipstick on," she said between clenched teeth, showering spit on me that I didn't dare wipe away, fearing even greater reprisal if I were. As I had practiced, I applied the lipstick while I waited for the bomb to drop. The applicator was slapped out of my hand as I finished my top lip, which left a streak of red across the right side of my face to mix with my tears. My hand slowly lowered to my side as she raised her phone to take a picture of me. "There. All your whore friends will love this, I'm sure." They didn't. No one did. The closest I got to sympathy were people that left me because they wanted nothing to do with my 'family drama.' As soon as I had a job and revenue from hosting suggestive streams online, I ran and never looked back. When I heard the news two years later that she-thing had frothed herself into a heart attack and died, I laughed. There was something so pathetically funny about it that all I could do was laugh. The year after that, he-thing was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I laughed at that, too. It almost felt like justice, though I knew justice would never come.
I was laughing as I emerged from the memories. We were on the Fifth Ring now, heading deeper into the hill on the way to the Arcanist Conclave once more. Wigh and Nolos were exchanging looks of confusion. "You okay?"
"What's so funny?"
"I just remembered something funny. Sorry."
"It's fine, it's good to see you smiling."
"It's almost time for you to make your mark. Are you ready?"
"No, but, mmmI might as well get ready," I said with a chuckle. "Thank you both. I'll do my best." I was in no way ready for what was to come, but my new friends parted ways with me once we arrived at the gardens. A deep, heaving breath intended to steel me nearly made me lose my balance. This told me I would need to pull it together, and quickly. It was time for my poker face to carry me through this encounter. I tapped my pockets to make sure I still had everything I should have on my person; everything was where it was supposed to be. Without further ado, I ensured I was standing upright and entered the foyer of the Conclave headquarters once more. I believed that I could do this by the simple merit that I didn't know what I would do if I couldn't do this. A dwarven woman greeted me as I approached. There were other receptionists present, but they were either speaking with others or tending to clerical work of their own. It was now or never.
"Good day, miss, welcome to the Arcanist Conclave."
"Hi, good afternoon. I'm, I'm here to join," I stated, tripping over my words as I wondered how to present myself properly.
"Well, you certainly look the part." She opened a book and turned through several pages to some kind of appointment log. "Have you made arrangements with us?"
"I believe so. The Sun King said he would make arrangements." I watched the dwarf's eyebrows raise. She quickly turned several pages and traced over the book with her finger. The other receptionists and some of their conversational partners had glanced at me as I quietly invoked the king's title. I quickly looked away in embarrassment, desperately hoping my inebriation wasn't obvious.
"Your name?"
"Madison Cantrell."
"Yes, here you are. Follow me, please." I did just that, eager to recluse myself from staring eyes. We crossed the room and passed through a set of doors that led to another corridor. An auditorium soon came into view, grand and open. It appeared that a selection of people were attending a presentation on Evocation magic. Several magic users were demonstrating elemental spells in series alongside interspersing commentary on theoretical extrapolations of said elements. I wanted to stop and listen, but my attention was elsewhere. The alcohol that currently blessed my bloodstream helped me overcome my dislike of being underground. Instincts I had learned to observe over the course of my life told me to hide when I was in distress, so I couldn't imagine why indulging those instincts now made me feel so uneasy. Amber light shone off the polished stone of these corridors as my guide and I made our way deeper into the Conclave facilities. Which instincts were to be believed? I had come this far; I hoped I wasn't about to run headlong into a brick wall of my own design.
"Why are the lights this color?"
"They've always been that way. It's thought to reduce eye strain." I was grateful for that design feature. Though the spaces were enclosed, they weren't cramped or even stifling; they simply didn't suit me well.
"When was, um... how old is this place?"
"Thousands of years. No one's exactly sure, but Nereved is known to be a very old city." It was little wonder why the people felt safe enough to wander the Underground without fear of collapse. Judging by the upkeep of the docks and how neatly the Interior Rings were kept, the ancient construction aided by modern construction inspired confidence. I did my best to memorize the path we were taking through the enormous interior of the hill. Self-doubt started to creep back into me as I considered the singular esteem of such an organization. There was no way I'd be welcomed here. I knew nothing of this planet and its people, its history, and magic was still an expansive discovery to be made. My perhaps prodigious studies would still be dwarfed by those who had studied their whole lives, let alone those that had networked with other individuals. I felt so discouraged by the thought that I'd likely never be especially proficient with using magic. Still, the others believed in me and wanted to see me to success. That was the largest part of why I was here. The rest... I would leave magic behind in a second if it meant attaining existential peace.
By the time my musings had concluded, we had entered a domed room that featured a central conference table made of stone, along with work desks of the same make along the outer walls. Some of the desks featured writing utensils while others featured stacks of books or chemistry sets. A microcosm of the city existed here in a small collection of disparate personnel, but we were approaching a type of person I hadn't yet encountered. The clearly feminine figure was taking notes from a book written in Draconic. She looked like a small, green-scaled dragonborn. I wondered if this sort of person were the scaled equivalent of a dwarf. "Madison, this is Gwyl. She'll get you started; welcome to the Arcanist Conclave." With that, my guide departed without so much as leaving me her name. I supposed I could always ascertain that information later. The spotlight was suddenly on me as appraisal loomed over the moments to come. I was suddenly aware of the atmospheric warmth that had been present inside the Conclave's facilities, unaffected by the light breeze that constantly wafted through.
"So, you're the transmuter everyone's been talking about." I winced slightly, not only from the idea that my arrival had been anticipated. Gwyl had a high, raspy, slightly shrill voice. Green eyes that matched her scales flicked over to me with muted interest. I noticed what I assumed to be a Spell Tome holstered on her back, resting over a white and gold tunic that matched nicely with white pants. She gestured over the expanse of the room, easily a few times larger than the average Taco Bell. "This is the Transmutation Sphere."
"Thank you for having me," I earnestly expressed with as much calm as I could.
"Sure. Since you've been vouched for, you won't need to pay the entry fee or take the entry exam. We'll have your sash ready and your registration done by tonight if you're accepted." I was grateful to not have to pay a fee that I likely couldn't afford, but bypassing an entry exam didn't feel right to me. In the spirit of subtly swimming against the Sun King's currents, I decided to ride the tide of my liquid courage.
"Excellent. But, um..." Gwyl's gaze honed in on me as I began to speak. I wondered if she was the leader of this Sphere, if such gatherings indeed had a leader. "I actually want to take the entrance exam, if that's okay." This request led my evaluator to smirk at me. I worried I was already making an ass of myself, or whatever the localized version of an ass was.
"But you don't want to pay the price of admission?"
"I... only have three gold. Sorry."
"That's fine," Gwyl chuckled as she capped her inkwell. "It's already been paid. We can give you an entry exam, if you're sure that's what you want."
"Yes." The woman's clawed hand pointed at my tome and made a motion of receipt. I offered it to her, suddenly feeling as if I was the new kid in the class. Pages were flipped, formulas and Arcane arrangements pored over...
"Come get a look at this, everyone." The entire population of the room, nearly a dozen in number, stopped what they were doing to approach Gwyl's desk. I braced for impact. "This is what I've been trying to teach you: organization. See these hesitation marks in the ink? These are the first drafts." That sounded like a compliment. Was that a compliment?
"What language is that?" The question came from a fellow dragonborn... a dragonborn. Her lapis scales contrasted with yellow plates that ran up her throat.
"It's my own personal cipher. I figure, um... magic can fall into the wrong hands sometimes. If those hands found my spells and could easily copy them, all kinds of disasters could become my responsibility, you know?"
"You haven't spent much time around other wizards, have you?"
"Just Sekvi the Seer, now the Song Weaver." The mention of this name garnered further attention. I worried that I was digging myself into a hole whether my words were true or not. "They trained me."
"The Diviner, from Karthos Bend. I know them," Gwyl said quietly. "You have a similar accent. Did they survive?"
"They did, yeah. They're part of the reason I did, too." I sighed as my eyes fell back to my tome. Gwyl leaned in closely to whisper to me, her eyes squinted as they met my own.
"Have you been drinking?"
"I'm sorry." There was nothing else I could say for myself. I anticipated indignation, judgment, or worse, but I received a grin instead.
"Good, because it's time for your practical exam. I recognize these spells - Enhance Ability, Comprehend Languages, and sensible basics - but it's one thing to compose these spells, and another to use them." Gwyl shooed the others away from her and stood up. I estimated her height to be around four feet, but her personality accounted for much more space. She led me to a smaller room that contained targets and other props. Instead of these, however, she slipped her tome from its holster and cast it open. Three orbs of yellow light issued from the book itself and quickly floated some distance away. "You know what to do."
"Alright." I quickly tossed my staff into my right hand as I acquired my targets. With my eyes focused, I swung my staff in a horizontal arc. Three rose gold beams of energy erupted mid-swing and shot through the lights with enough force to dissipate them into mist. I looked over to Gwyl to see how well I did. She was nodding her head.
"You've practiced your offense, but how about your defense?" The small reptilian woman stood straight, closed her eyes, and waved a hand over her tome. It assumed a yellow-green light and shaped itself into a spectral blade. As stunned as I was, I cast Mage Armor out of reflex; this was to be the only warning I had before Gwyl leapt into the air to swing her blade at me. I felt that this method of examination was a tad irresponsible; it was as if I had stumbled onto the set of a Star Wars movie. A quick cast of my Shield spell manifested a translucent, rose gold sphere that easily deflected her attack. She recovered and hopped back, using her inertia to roll into a hand stand. In an odd display, Gwyl clapped her bare, scaled feet together that procured a green-purple ball of goop. It was tossed in my direction so quickly that I nearly failed to raise Absorb Elements in time. A sizzling sound erupted from the sleeve of my dress as acid ate directly through it and found purchase on my scales, prompting a moderate, but burning pain in my forearm.
"Agh! Fuckin' ow." I felt adrenaline surge through me now. My first instinctual response was to fire a spell back, but I abstained. The affected scales had been dulled in color and dried to the point of crumbling at the ends. Seeing this caused me a surprising depth of genuine upset.
"You'll be fine," Gwyl assured me. "Muscles?" I watched the smaller reptilian woman nod her head in my direction, followed by the blue dragonborn hurling a rigged target in my direction. What was I supposed to do here?! I had already used Shield, Expeditious Retreat wouldn't get me out of the way quickly enough, and I didn't want to destroy the Conclave's equipment if I could help it. As panic began to set in, I chose to try to catch the target with the aid of Enhance Ability. This choice worked surprisingly well for me. With my staff still in hand, I managed to catch the target with enough strength to manage the shock it inflicted upon my arms.
"Do you test everyone like this?!"
"Just the ones I think can take it." Gwyl mercifully reverted her energetic blade into a Spell Tome. It wasn't as much of a compliment as she thought it was. "You really are a survivor. Sekvi trained you well." The sentiment sat heavily with me; all I had ever been was a survivor, and I feared that in the end, fact would be the entirety of my story. As I sat the target down intact, the blue dragonborn woman approached me with what appeared to be a thinly tipped paint brush in her hand.
"Let me see your arm." With all the adrenaline in my system, I was reluctant to oblige this stranger.
"Will that fix my scales?"
"It should." My tension was obvious. I was slowly acclimating to positive touch through Lilika and Betiara, but further progress was ever required. With all the experiences I'd had on Earth and my harrowing time at the Summit yesterday, the emotional pressure in me was pressing outward. I did my best to calm my nerves with the aid of the alcohol moving through my bloodstream. "It won't hurt," she assured me in words beyond familiar. The taper of the brush glowed with blue-white light as the dragonborn woman painted over my damaged skin and scales. I found the recovery of my body to be nearly identical to Lilika's healing magic. In the same way her magic had healed my hand, this paint brush brought soothing warmth to my arm. My scales reconstituted themselves in shining, keratinous layers as they knit themselves back together under the guidance of the magical brush. I took this opportunity to get a better look at this person. She wore a blue-gray robe over a nondescript set of linen clothing underneath, topped with a green sash over one shoulder with indecipherable text woven into it. A thick leather utility belt hung over her waist to function as a makeshift sash while carrying an assortment of art supplies. Now that I had a reason to investigate further, I recognized that everyone in this department was wearing the same green sash.
"Are you an artist?" I felt as if I needed to make some small talk after souring the moment with my anxiety.
"Yes," she confirmed. "Transitioning my tools into magic supplies seemed like the path of least resistance, you know?" I couldn't help but smile at the thought; it was unique and innovative, and the practical utility of her approach was inspiring to me.
"That's really cool. This, feels good, thank you."
"Always happy to help. There, how does that look?" My scales looked as if they had never sustained damage at all. I breathed a sigh of relief, much of my tension evaporating in seconds. The Mending cantrip quickly took care of my damaged sleeve.
"Perfect. Thank you again. What's your name?"
"Fithi." She leaned in to whisper, "I'm looking forward to working with you. There's no way Gwyl will say no." Further relief flowed through me. I had been so sure that showing up drunk and panicking over what was ultimately a minor injury would have put a sour taste in the Conclave's mouth. An unhelpful thought occurred to me: as small as this wing of the Conclave seemed to be, they had likely seen worse than I, and they were likely in need of new blood. Once again, failing upward was the name of the game. I hoped that I would one day amount to something more than a successful failure. The long buried, optimistic part of me hoped that this could be the beginning of a fuller path forward. With my scales restored, all eyes turned to Gwyl to see what she thought of my practical examination.
"You have quick reflexes," she observed aloud. "Have you seen battle?"
"Our cart was attacked by a volg on the way to Letvel. Then a burrowelter that was injured in the earthquake attacked the city. We helped." I didn't want to present myself as some grand, heroic defender of a city, especially when I'd been so reluctant to engage in the first place.
"Mm." Gwyl nodded her head. "Modest, too. You mention it like it's such a casual thing."
"I mean, I scored some decent hits, but I had a lot of help."
"It was a burrowelter," a middle-aged human protested. "Is that really what you fought, or do you just not take your accomplishments as a wizard seriously?" My scales bristled slightly; I was still getting used to being constructively called on my bullshit.
"Two stories tall, four arms, too many not-eyes, and pissed off," I described in hope of affirming my story. "I don't know, man, it seems like a bad idea for a wizard to get a swollen head over it. There were archers, pikemen, the rest of the group, and Belot with that magic sword of his. My contribution was a drop in the bucket."
"I remember Belot," Gwyl interjected. "Human, light hair, bad attitude?"
"That's him."
"He came through the Conclave on his way to the Summit; he was on some kind of religious pilgrimage." Some of the transmuters nodded their heads as Gwyl spoke. I was now able to put two and two together. If he had come here to see The Sun King, Belot must have been affiliated with the solar side of Astralism. "If that's how you make sense of your experiences, that's not something we can fault. How do we all feel about Madison's examinations?" Muttering erupted among my fellow transmuters. The overall tone suggested positivity, but I could see a few skeptical looks being cast in my direction. Their deliberations saw them all announce their opinions on the matter. Five were in favor of my acceptance into the Conclave, while three were against the idea. I supposed it could have been a much worse result.
"Does...? That mean I'm in?"
"We're expecting great things from you, number nine." Gwyl gestured to an unoccupied desk between hers and Fithi's. "You'll find ink and paper for spell construction in your desk. And Madison?"
"Yes?"
"Save the drinks for the afternoon, please," Gwyl advised with a wink.
"I understand." Things always seemed to go this way for me. I was be terrified of things that would ultimately go well, and routine endeavors often went to hell in a hand basket. The Arcanist Conclave didn't seem to be the monolithic, intimidating bastion of high-level magic that I had expected it to be. It felt more like a social club to me. I glanced around as I sat at my desk with the most appreciative smile I could manage. All of the people in this wing seemed to be normal, practical people, the same as those with any other interest. So many things in this world were just as mundane as they were on Earth regardless of magical involvement. On one hand, this made me feel more grounded to the Cradle. On the other hand, the Cradle could thus be subject to similar ills. Hoarding magical power could easily result in a microcosm of capitalism all its own. This country had a king, and there were likely many people that supported a monarchist system. It was easy for me to feel as if everything in this new world was lofty, outlandish and magical when I had nonhuman friends with cool weapons and spells, a mother figure that could turn into and speak with animals, and a beautiful, buff, impressive werewolf girlfriend.
I began to assemble two new spells that I had formulated during the long ride to Nereved. The first one would give me what was often a much-needed escape: Invisibility. Despite the ink here being freely available to me, I took care to plan my pennings carefully before making a single mark in my tome. This was my first Illusion spell, and I felt my unfamiliarity with the concept sting me as I worked. It still spoke to me in a way that I didn't expect. I had performed illusions growing up as someone whose identity didn't match her body. Illusions were still present in my life, given that even this body didn't fully match with what I now knew myself to be. Feigned competence was another illusion in my employ... and sometimes the illusion of hope made itself known to me in the worst ways possible. In any case, Invisibility would be a practical way to evade trouble and would grant my anxiety relief amid my frequent wishes to disappear. I imagined myself walking through the city without being seen, invisible to those around me, free from judgment whether positive or negative. The complex spell's bending of light took me some time to conceptualize.
The other spell I had formulated was one that I characteristically named Mind Whip. In the battle with the Burrowelter, its four arms had been absolutely terrifying to me. So much more damage could have been done to the city and to its people if the creature hadn't been injured during the earthquake. The aim of Mind Whip was to restrain an opponent and thus limit their speed of action in combat, while still doing some amount of damage caused by the same restraints. It felt almost cruel, but I hoped the spell could easily serve as a deterrent of further conflict. Further fuel for the spell's inspiration was provided by the feelings that rocked me when I huddled in Lilika's cellar. I felt trapped, doomed, helpless to such terrible depths. Mind Whip was completed more easily than its counterpart; I used my prior experience with Evocation spells to stretch the concept of Magic Missile into something that lasted a bit longer, extrapolating it into a greater effect. I felt satisfied with my work as I closed my tome. "Can I ask a couple questions?" Gwyl looked to my tome with a slant of interest.
"Absolutely."
"Can I test these new spells in that training room over there?"
"Be our guest. Don't worry about destroying the targets; they're fixed regularly." The small, green-scaled woman momentarily glanced at my forearm before refocusing her attention upward. "Tell me about these new spells."
"Well, I call them Invisibility and Mind Whip. The former, um, sometimes I need to be on my own and have some quiet time. It could also be useful for escaping combat if the risk is too great. The latter... burrowelters have so many arms. I could use restraint to reduce an enemy's actions or discourage danger altogether." I lightly dragged my hand up and down my opposing forearm in an effort to steady myself. What would these mages think of my spell choices? The nodding appraisal provided by Gwyl told me that I hadn't done a terrible job of balancing practicality with emotional inspiration.
"Good strategies. The mark of a good mage is to know when to use magic, but more critically, when to abstain in favor of other choices." I was grateful for the positive review of my work. Would Sekvi have the same reaction? "What's your second question?" Uh oh. This was always painful for me, especially now that my buzz had worn off.
"Um... I haven't seen a person like you before." Rather than ask the usual question, I decided to risk framing it differently. "Are you a dragonborn?" I saw Fithi wince out of the corner of my eye. It was a fair reaction.
"I'm a kobold," Gwyl responded without much color to her tone. "Is this your first time underground?"
"I've been caving before, but I've never lived anywhere like Nereved."
"I see. Well, the training room is all yours, Madison."
"Cool. Thank you for your patience." I stood and placed my tome in its holster while I passed an apologetic glance to my fellow reptilian colleagues.
"It's alright," Gwyl said with a light laugh. "We get the question on occasion; it just tells us that you're not from here. Have fun with your new spells, new girl." Gwyl had made this entire process much easier for me, and I was grateful for her help. Having seen a kobold, and having ascertained the name for their people, I decided that I would do some reading before I left for the night. First, however, Invisibility and Mind Whip required testing. I composed myself in the middle of the training room for my inaugural cast of the first new spell in my repertoire. A small, rose gold light flowed over my cloak, which I drew across my form akin to a classic Hollywood vampire. That simple motion rippled into a film of clarity that entirely overtook my clothing, staff and my body. I was invisible! A strange sense of relief washed over me as I looked down and saw nothing but the stone floor below me. I took a few steps, finding that I felt no loss of familiarity with my body; I was invisible, not incorporeal. Further comfort in the form of success brought provided a positive upturn in my mood.
Mind Whip provided a surprise I wasn't ready for. I mustered the best motion that I could approximate from watching Indiana Jones movies. A rose gold tendril erupted from within my hand and lashed with ferocity toward a nearby target. This tendril coiled around the target and proceeded to shower the room with its now splintered remains. "Whoa," I shouted in surprise. All the racket drew the curiosity of my peers, several of whom had looked into the training room to see what had caused my alarm. Fithi smirked and pointed out a broom and dustpan in the corner of the room. It was the perfect opportunity to practice my newest cantrip: Mage Hand. A spectral hand, mimicking mine in appearance, materialized in the air and used the broom to sweep the stone floor for me. I used it further to carry the full dust pan to a trash receptacle. Before I could visit the library, I approached Gwyl and sheepishly informed her that we would need to replace one of the targets. She laughed as she assured me that the request wasn't an issue whatsoever.
Six hours was my best estimate of how much time I spent in the library. Comprehend Languages lasted an hour per cast, and taking personal notes provided a buffer between these castings. My reading established a baseline understanding of the various people in this part of the world, from aarakocra to kobold, from elf to tiefling. There were, essentially, all kinds of furry species as well. I marveled at the handy portraits exemplifying various aspects of their features and cultures. The plains around Nereved apparently housed a population of nomadic minotaurs, and I even learned about the existence of an unnamed city that lay below the Nerevan Sea's waters. Everyone here was so different, so beautiful, and so interesting. It all brought a smile to my face that hadn't faded by the time I completed tonight's studies. The rest of my reading had been on the subject of Nereved's history. No one was certain of how long the city had been occupied, but the book on hand suggested that it was at least 3,000 years old. The original site of a cinder cone volcano, the resulting magma vents left extensive tunnel networks below the city and throughout its hemispherical hills, long carved through by the Tagat River. The city was built to protect its resulting mineral wealth, surrounding farmland, and its strategic location along said river.
Everyone else had left by the time I had finished in the library. I found a green fabric sash waiting atop my desk on my way out, seemingly identical to the ones my fellow transmuters wore. It was donned with a smile, resting over my dress, visible over my left shoulder as I stood with my staff. I'd need to ask for someone to translate the words on it. I noticed similar sashes as I left the Conclave for the night. Blue, yellow, white and more; I suspected that the respective colors signaled the members' respective departments. A few unfamiliar individuals that passed me on the way out were wearing the same green I was, and they offered me quick greetings as they went on their way. As a matter of fact, I quickly discovered that the underground was the center of the city's night life, which catered to its many nocturnal residents. I used this to my advantage after realizing how terribly hungry I was. Descending to the Third Interior Ring revealed a bustling night market full of food and entertainment, which was apparently typical of the lower Rings of the city. I saved a few copper by exchanging laundry service for a bowl of soup and vegetable dumplings. My meal was spent watching the chef prepare further food right in front of me, akin to a hibachi restaurant. It was an enjoyable new experience for me. I hurried home once I finished eating and saw an absence of daylight at the end of the entry tunnel to the underground.
"We were starting to worry," Lilika announced as I entered the apartment. Rags bounded down the short hallway and nearly bowled me over as he pressed his head to me in greeting. I obliged the best boy with plenty of pettings. "How was your day, sweetie?" I heard a chorus of greeting from the loft area above.
"It was good. I got, um, I went to the Conclave. I took the entrance test despite it being waived and they still let me in. I lost track of time in the library." Everyone voiced their approval of this development without hesitation. I couldn't help but blush.
"Aha! My apprentice, a fully-fledged member of the Conclave herself. What an exemplary way to ruffle the king's metaphorical feathers!" I appreciated that Sekvi caught on to my reasoning so quickly.
"I learned from the best," I answered. "How was today for you all?"
"Sekvi got me work bouncing the lower mayoral hall. The pay's adequate. It seems like an inclusivity hire to me but it should be good for me."
"I spent all day looking around and got nowhere," Keff lamented, "but I got a lead to look into tomorrow."
"After seeing to Betiara, I traveled to the upper Rings to perform. As I expected, the tips were more generous as I descended." I heard two quick symphonia chords announcing this positive resolution to Sekvi's day. They were, as always, a delight.
"I met some nomads this morning that told me where I could find some useful plants," Lilika explained with a pleasant smile. This smile, however, faded for a moment as she met my gaze. Her volume faded with it. "You were still in bed when I came back this morning. Is everything alright?" I had completely forgotten about that. My mind raced for a middle ground between answering truthfully and making her worry over me further.
"I'm having some trouble with the whole dragon thing," I quietly confessed. "Today got better as it went on."
"Is that why you drank today?"
"I, well, no, but... how did you know I did? I don't sweat anymore."
"Rags smelled it on you." Of course he did. My eyes fell as my effort to avoid worrying Lilika failed. It may have been a misguided effort from the start; it wasn't a bad thing that she worried about me. She hummed to herself while she poured a selection of powdered herbs into a small glass bottle. "I could use another pair of hands tomorrow. Would you like to come with me?" There was no way I could turn this offer down. As good a time as I'd had this afternoon, I could use an outing with my mother figure to clear my head out. Joining her would also give her the assurance that I wasn't going to head down a rough road with alcohol.
"I'd like that." I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring hug. "I'm okay, I just need to figure it out, you know?"
"Oh, I understand that very well." I hesitated to draw the same parallels between Lilika's ex-husband and I, but I understood why she made that connection. There were some similarities in our respective situations. Both of us were people whose appearances didn't match what was within. If there was anyone that could help me through this, it was someone who had been beside the phenomenon before.
"I trust you, mom." This brought a smile back to Lilika's face. It was always nice to see her feeling well.
"How does it feel to say the word?"
"Kinda like I always hoped it would. What does it feel like to hear it?"
"It feels peaceful, even more than I expected." I had arrived too late to join the others in their card game, which led everyone to head to bed shortly afterward. Betiara and I sat on our bed after we brushed our teeth together.
"I hope you'll get a chance to influence things in city hall, even if it's only peripheral at first," I offered as I lay my head on Betiara's shoulder.
"Thanks. I do, too. I'll be looking for more involved opportunities in the meantime." I sighed in contentment as I felt her arm drape across my shoulder and pull me close. The feeling of warmth and safety I felt with her was something I had needed all my life. I couldn't get enough of it, and I was happy that this particular flavor of the feeling came from her. "Are you okay?"
"I'm trying to be." Burdening Lilika with worry had felt bad enough; I didn't want to burden my girlfriend in the same manner. As close as we all were, I still didn't find it prudent to stretch their wellbeing in this stressful time of adjustment. I wondered if this was a reasonable thought, given the trust for them that I'd built and maintained. It didn't feel like a matter of trust to me, but simply my own willingness to understand this bigger picture of myself.
"You'll figure it out," she assured me. A small kiss planted against my right horn quieted some of my internal conflict. "I've been thinking about how cool it is to have a dragon for a girlfriend."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I can tell that you like how tall I am like this." There was no getting anything past Betiara, either. I enjoyed how protected I felt with her head resting over my own. "I'll get to experience that for the first time soon. Imagine us laying down in a clearing somewhere safe and quiet. Just you and me... your wings spread out, and I'm sleeping under one of them." It was a nice visual indeed. I wouldn't at all mind providing this feeling of protection in kind.
"Do you think I'll have wings?" My question felt so vulnerable that it caused me to assume its emotional intent. I could trust my new friends to care, to not hurt me if I were honest and open with myself on this level. They had all made me feel so welcome.
"I think so. I hope so, as long as you don't fly away without me," Betiara joked. We shared a light laugh and settled in for the night on a high note. I lay in my pajamas, reflecting on my day as I watched Betiara shift. It was amazing, the way she so quickly assumed a different form over the course of a physical gradient. She tap-tapped her fore paws on the stone, paced the room, and spun in two circles before flopping down on her side with a sigh. It took her a moment to notice that I was staring at her. I looked away to avoid making her feel self-conscious about the existence she enjoyed most.
"It's just really cool to see," I quietly explained. "I'm jealous." My voice broke as the sentiment left me. Betiara stood and rubbed her neck scruff over my face. I couldn't help but laugh as tears started to roll across my face, lost in a sea of fluff. Would I be free of this pain if I hadn't discovered that I was something else? Why did it hurt me so badly? Had it really and truly been confirmed that I was a dragon? These questions, familiar in their scorch, burned through my mind as I hugged around Betiara's neck to protect myself from them. I decided that I would figure this out, like she said. I would figure it out with the help of my friends. Things could be okay if I kept my head together and powered thr-... no they wouldn't. Willpower alone wouldn't be enough to understand this. I needed a plan, a trajectory forward. My fluffy, protective, loving girlfriend stayed with me while I pondered a course of action. I got as far as formulating a transmutative construct that could cast spells for me before I finally fell asleep. Only then did we part our embrace.