The sound of rain against the kitchen windows roused me from deep sleep. A sigh passed through my nose as I looked around my room, dimly lit by the morning's clouded sky. I had been having a strange dream. The Sun King had been deposed by a wererat woman, and we shared a mutual, amorous interest in each other. When we met, however, we found that flaming lips had bloomed over all the furniture in the dining hall, which obscured all possibility of mutual engagement. I approached my familiar perch on the Ninth ring and walked right off of it, floating in the air. A bottle of wine provided me with succor while walked over the city of Nereved without a care. Once empty, a mushroom began to grow out of the bottle. Dropping the bottle in surprise ended my skyward walk, and I fell. I fell for so long before I reached the ground, but I passed through it. Falling, falling through the ground, through chambers underground lit in amber and then green. I eventually phased into the planet's mantle, where I became warm, safe, and took the shape I was meant to take.
Betiara's eyes opened and settled upon me as I sat up. Why was she staring at me? Suddenly, memories of yesterday flooded back to me, and my hands flew to feel over my face. My beak was right where it should have been, and my hands were back to normal as well. It was okay. Everything felt still as I slowly sat down to rest with my girlfriend. She was still shifted, and seemed to take my rest as an invitation to splay herself across my lap. Gratitude weighed more heavily on me than she did, though I wouldn't be able to sit like this for very long. I ran both hands through her thick, black fur, petting over her side before moving to her neck. Closed eyes announced her enjoyment of this gesture. She sighed with gravity to match my own, an expression of mutual relief while she was without words. Fluffy ears perked at the sound of whispering that began in the hallway. "Ahh. Morning, Rags. Thank you, boy." Rags had woken Lilika upon hearing me stir. Rags was a very good boy.
"Hey, mom," I whispered, unsure if Keff and Sekvi were still sleeping.
"Hello, sweetie. Are you okay? How are you feeling?"
"I think so. I'm pretty hungry." Her face filled with relief after squinting to look me over. I felt Betiara paw at my tail, and a quick investigation showed that it wasn't lacking any scales.
"Let's get breakfast started, then." Betiara immediately looked up at Lilika with her eyes wide and ears perked up. "That's right. Come help us out." The four of us piled into the kitchen and began to cook as quietly as we possibly could. Fried vegetable dumplings and radishes pickled the night before were to be our first meal for the day. I was so hungry that I was tempted to eat all of the dumplings' ingredients separately, even the raw dough. The absence of eggs in the recipe meant that I could eat it without catching any diseases, but I was forced to abstain in the interest of crunchy, savory comfort.
"Thank you for helping me."
"Of course, love."
"You took a real risk for Rags and I, sweetie. Thank you." I didn't feel as if I deserved any praise, what with my choice disrupting everyone else's plans for a calm evening. Instead, I rose to the tips of my toes to kiss Betiara on the shoulder. She lowered herself down so that I could reach her jaw, and returned a kiss against my cheek. My hand rose to gently steer her into more invigorating contact, but she quickly pulled her snout away from mine. I withdrew as if I had touched a hot iron. She didn't want me anymore... I had ruined everything by getting myself involved in danger and nearly getting myself turned into a wererat.
"Babe...?"
"Love, no, no." Betiara closed her arms around me. I squeezed her in return. "It's not like that. After last night, I just... I don't think making out is worth the risk. All it takes is one wrong move and it happens again."
"I think it's worth it! It, feels really good to be close to you."
"I'm sorry. I'm just not okay with it anymore. I don't want you to get hurt." It wasn't what I wanted to hear, but that didn't matter. Betiara was saying no, and that was that. I resigned myself to resting quietly against her, feeling her formidable lungs expand and contract as I closed my eyes. Our parting was inevitable, of course, but she seemed more reluctant than I was to do so. "Thank you, love. I know you want to be close to me. I want that, too. We can figure out another way."
"I know. Thank you for telling me."
"Of course." We went back to preparing food, knowing that it would take some time to make enough for everyone. Every now and then, Betiara would look at me as if to see how I was feeling. It was a little bittersweet, but I'd be over myself soon.
"So, those wererats, they're not a fan of monarchism, either," I explained. Betiara's ears perked in genuine interest. "We made a deal. They'd let us come gather plants when we needed to, and I told them that if they held that agreement up, I'd introduce them to you and Sekvi."
"They'd have ears all over the city." She saw the same benefit I saw in this arrangement. This made me feel more secure in my evaluation. "How many are there?"
"I saw, like, at least three dozen wererats. Plenty of other rats, but I don't know if they were wild rats or not."
"A whole surfeit under Nereved... I'd definitely like to talk to them. Are they planning something?" Betiara had stopped dressing the vegetables she held in her paws, her interest keenly hinged upon the conversation.
"I don't know." I shrugged my shoulders. "We're of like mind. They'd heard of Sekvi, and they seemed eager to meet you, too. There's one thing, though: to buy favor with them, I told them my significant other is a werewolf. I'm sorry, babe."
"...that's alright," she replied, resuming her culinary preparation. "I'm living more openly now, and I'm alright with other shifters knowing." Relief poured out of me in a heaving sigh.
"Are you interested in meeting them, then?"
"Yes, on neutral ground. I'll tell you now: I'm not interested in usurpation. That would send the city into chaos and end up hurting more people than it would to empower them to enact the change they want to see."
"Same. I do not want to get us on that guy's shit list. You know he's got guards following me? Even the Cavern guards knew who I am."
"I don't like that," Betiara murmured. She glanced between Lilika and I. "I really don't like that."
"They're pushovers," Lilika said with a chuckle. "I got to play with one yesterday. As long as we don't do anything to oppose the king outright, should be fine."
"I have an invisibility spell now, too," I added, which earned a small smile from Betiara. "So it should be really easy to give any tail a slip."
"The next time I see a rat, I'll tell them your terms, sweetie."
"Thanks, Lilika."
"And you know... ah, nevermind."
"What is it?" Betiara's prior occupation sustained echoes within her.
"Well, you two have gone this long without any incidents. If you're worried about imposing, don't, I'd rather you two feel free to be intim-"
"I can't bear to see her like that again," Betiara interrupted with a firm tone. She and Lilika matched eyes, each pleading with the other. "Not with everything she's dealing with, and I don't want to be responsible for that. I appreciate it, Lilika, genuinely, but it's not imposition I'm worried about."
"I understand, sweetie." This was the first time I had heard this term applied to Betiara that I could recall. Lilika must have seen her unflinching care for my wellbeing. I felt so helpless in this... again, but I wasn't going to go against reasonable boundaries of care. Refusing this kind of love was something I wouldn't ever be willing to do. A disappointed, but hopeful smile passed behind Betiara confirmed that Lilika had done what she could for the matter.
"I'm okay with it, really," I assured my partner with a gentle, affirming squeeze placed on her bicep.
"Betiara," a grumbling voice sounded from behind us, "let me borrow your sword."
"Why?"
"I have two examples of a resume left: my hammer, and your sword. You don't even need it anymore." Betiara scoffed, but began to undo her belt so that it could be attached to the scabbard waiting within our room.
"I want it back. I paid good money for it."
"You'll get it back, Fluffy. Thanks." Keff accepted the belt and slung it over his shoulder. He then turned his attention to me. "Come with me today. I need someone to look good wearing it while I look for work." Me, posing with a sword? I had no idea how to use a weapon. I was the worst possible person for this job.
"I feel like Sekvi would be a way better choice here."
"They're already working today, we're not. Come on, a wizard makes a good impression." I could tell Keff wasn't going to take no for an answer. We hadn't spent time together since we left Letvel, and after yesterday, I desperately needed a calm and predictable day to regain my emotional center. The nodding heads of my girlfriend and mother figure indicated that they had the same idea.
"Alright, as long as I can leave in time to get outfitted with Sekvi."
"Sure, no problem. Thanks, Madison, everybody." Keff lapsed into silence as his gaze lingered upon my own. "I'm really glad you're okay. Beady eyes don't suit you."
"Neither do brown ones," I joked. It took Keff a moment to catch my meaning.
"Don't worry, mine are pretty enough for the both of us." Stifled laughs filled the kitchen as Lilika, Betiara and I continued our work. "You ladies need any help, by the way?"
"We're almost done, but thank you, Keff," Lilika replied. "I think I'll stay home and work on medicines today."
"You're the only one I trust with that." As Keff ducked into our room to retrieve Betiara's sword, Sekvi emerged from their own. Once again, their appearance was uncharacteristically disheveled.
"Ah, fantastic! You appear to be doing much better, Madison. Please, feel no concern over our plans yesterday, for the tailor awaits us this afternoon."
"Knowing that I won't have to make adjustments for a scaleless tail will help."
"I daresay it will. Did I hear that we're to have a prospective meeting with your assailants under friendly terms?"
"You did," Betiara answered dryly. She didn't like to be overheard; I had learned this during our secretive romps aboard the cargo ship. "What do you think?"
"I would not meet them alone, but think of the social reach we could gain for our mutual cause!"
"That's the plan."
"Marvelous. Oh, Madison, your gift of bringing disparate souls together is a joy to behold." I felt an affirming pat against my shoulder. Despite my hesitation to accept this praise, I couldn't help but smile.
"You can praise me once the meeting's over and you're not bitten."
"No, I believe I will praise you now." A good-natured laugh served to lift everyone's spirits further. We ate breakfast together, spending equal time discussing our praises of the city as well as our condemnations. Betiara, as if eager to further reassure me that I was wanted, eagerly pulled me into her lap. I was sensitive to what I perceived to be failure on my part, and she knew that. My head rested under hers as we ate together. Considerations of yesterday began to settle within. I could have died, I could have become terribly traumatized by having my mind clouded with conflicting, irrational instincts that I didn't enjoy, and I could have become a danger to the others. These were fears that I imagined many shifters lived with. In my musings, I quietly asked Betiara to tell me if she had had any dangerous run-ins with anyone in Nereved. She told me that stares of confusion had been the worst of it. The large, bustling, diverse city seemed to be more accepting of such people. I had to wonder why, if this were indeed true, that the wererats were sequestered to their tunnel underground.
I almost died yesterday, again. A deep, unsettled worry threatened to wither my appetite, but I did my best to shake the feeling away. I failed; an unpleasant memory returned to me. My transition hadn't gone entirely smoothly, and I had nearly been stabbed in 2022. Some asshole with a red hat had stormed into Taco Bell, ranting about a wrong order. Upon showing him that his receipt reflected the order, and insisting that we could fill another order for him, he had pulled a knife and attempted to leap over the counter while shouting homophobic and transphobic slurs at me. One of my coworkers clotheslined him and took his knife. It had devolved into a shouting match as people took their phones out to record the interaction. I was later informed by that coworker that he hadn't intervened because I was transgender, or even because I was a woman, but because he was only worried about 'workplace safety.' His meaning wasn't well hidden, but I had thanked him anyway to smooth things over. Sometimes I wanted to revisit that conversation and take it in a more assertive direction, even knowing that doing so would likely get me clotheslined as well.
"Love? What is it?"
"Huh?"
"You're shaking."
"Oh." It was true. My breath was tense, and I was clenching my jaw. I took a deep breath and counted to ten inside my head, then exhaled while counting again. "Sorry. A bad memory came up." Warm paws rubbed over my back, one traveling upward while the other traveled downward. This potent, contrasting mix of sensory input helped me feel more grounded.
"I just, if I ever do go back to Earth, I can't go back to foodservice. It's not worth it."
"What would you do, then?"
"I don't know. Hope I can still cast magic, become famous and never have to work a day in my life again?" My answer inspired a small smile in Betiara; I could discern this fact by the way the muscles in her neck moved.
"That doesn't sound like you, but I'd say you've earned it." Our breakfast quickly resumed its peace after the hiccup had passed. Unfortunately, all good things inevitably come to an end, and we went our separate ways for the day after we shared dish duty. I gave everyone's clothes a touch-up before Sekvi and Betiara departed, with Keff and I following soon after. There was no surprise lost on the visage of a guard across the way, who immediately began to tail us as we aimed to round the Third Ring toward the West side of the city. My rain-resistant cloak was a blessing, even with the protruding handle of Betiara's sword parting it across the front. It was a beautiful weapon, though too large for someone like me to wield effectively. Seeing it reminded me of how things used to be in Karthos Bend. I met her for the first time when she came to the smithy to buy that sword. She had teased me, and Keff had teased her back. Laundry services were the most I could think to seriously offer anyone at the time... I had been so excited to get started.
"It's been a little while, huh?"
"I was just thinking of the time Betiara came in to buy this."
"So was I. We had a good thing going, didn't we?"
"Yeah. I hope we can resume that here. I can tell you miss your work."
"I can tell you don't miss yours," Keff teased. He didn't seem to mind the rain, so we had decided to take advantage of the lesser foot traffic outside. Far fewer people were trekking across the Outer Rings today. This fact added to the peace of the gentle, gray morning.
"You were the first person to learn that I wasn't cut out for smithing," I joked in return. It really did feel like old times. "So, have you found anything in the libraries yet?"
"I've been too busy trying to get rent money to look," he complained. "Half the smaller smiths in the city are one-man operations, like mine was. The pickings aren't slim, but I've already been told that I'm 'overqualified.'"
"That happens on Earth, too," I lamented in kind. "It's ridiculous. The same workplace will tell everyone they don't have experience, then decline others for saying they have too much. Like, do they want employees or not?"
"Not to mention, my name would draw sales. People here know my steel."
"What do you think is holding you back?" Keff didn't answer immediately. Knowing him, this meant that my question would either receive a response borne of wisdom, or one that provided him little security.
"I'm not a big talker."
"Ah... no, you're not."
"I got by in Karthos Bend because people there knew what they wanted and didn't play games with me. Why do you think I got you to handle the customers?"
"I thought it was my lumpy hammers."
"Well, that, too, but it was mostly so I didn't have to talk to people." I hadn't known that this had caused him so much difficulty. He hadn't seemed to care whatsoever about what people thought of him... in Karthos Bend. This city would carry a different set of expectations.
"So I'm not just here to hold a sword?"
"Never try to be sly with a wizard." We shared a laugh. After all Keff had done for me, while not exactly my forte, greasing social wheels was something I was certainly willing to attempt for his sake.
"Where are we looking first?"
"Slefkin's Steelworks, Fourth Ring."
"...wouldn't it have been better for us to ascend before going around, so we wouldn't have to walk as far?"
"It might be more efficient, sure," Keff said, tossing his hands, "but I wanted to spend more time with you than that." This sentiment caught me off guard. It consistently surprised me to be so valued within this circle of friends. Instead of being helpful and noticing his gesture, I had exasperated him instead.
"Well... I could stand to not be a wizard all the time," I gingerly offered.
"No, you're right. I should have respected your time more."
"To do what? Have panic attacks over buying clothes in leisure for the first time? That's a great way to spend the day."
"Mm. You know, I'm not one for fancy clothes, either."
"Not with that beard. It wouldn't look right."
"That's why we get along so well! You might be the world's first dwarf dragon." I heaved a laugh, which invited Keff to do the same. High spirits carried us across the bridge that spanned the Tagat River far below. The presence of rain highlighted features of the city that I hadn't noticed before. Small channels were built along either side of the gently sloped road, allowing rain to funnel into them and away from traffic. The bridge possessed the same feature, though there were visible, small spaces for the rain to fall down into the river. It was no less astounding to look up into the horizontal supports of the city than it had been at the docks. Nereved truly was a marvel of engineering, and I had yet to understand how its heating and plumbing systems worked. I could only imagine that their inner workings would impress me. Now that I was thinking about it, the technological level of the city was higher than it had appeared to be in other places. Perhaps that was because I never visited the industrial section of Karthos Bend or the mines of Letvel. In either case, it begged further exploration.
"You don't get views like that in the valley," I observed, still watching cascades of water fall from the bridges above us.
"No, but the inverse is true, too."
"Yeah..." The backdrop of mountains, the clear night skies, and the gentle mist were all sorely missed. As well, Karthos Bend had been much quieter than Nereved and Letvel were. "Do we have a plan for how we should approach our presentation?" Keff shrugged his shoulders.
"Act natural, look confident, and back me up. You know how to hold a sword, even if you don't know how to use one. That's all we need." Those two words, 'act natural,' comprised a sentiment I'd yet to understand. 'Natural' changed from person to person, and being a person that wasn't innately tuned into social norms had always rendered the concept frustratingly nebulous. Why would anyone have to act natural when they could simply be natural?
"I'll do my best," I asserted.
"I know. And Madison, thanks for your help with this, after everything that happened yesterday."
"I could honestly use the distraction. I've been so stuck in my own head over this dragon thing." I crossed my arms in thought and immediately discovered that that was not a great idea in the rain. "I'm coming around, figuring it out, but it's just a lot, you know?"
"Imagine if we found out I wasn't a dwarf, but only a really short human." I snorted; the situation was incomparable, but it didn't need to be comparable. "I'd feel mixed up, too."
"Do you think I'm making a bigger deal out of this than I should?" Another pause prepared me for a weighty or uncertain answer. Thank goodness that neurodivergence had graced me with a measure of pattern recognition.
"I think... overall, you might be focusing on the wrong things. You're wrapped up in your body, which, of course you are, but you're a wizard. Aren't you excited to study the experience and figure out all the magic that goes into it, and how?" A look of concern being offered to me earned Keff several raindrops in the face. He didn't flinch whatsoever. People from Karthos Bend were hardy folk indeed.
"The possibilities," I remarked, hoping to show my understanding of Keff's intent.
"The possibilities. It's okay if you're not there yet, but that's something you can look forward to." Sometimes I suspected that Keff was taking lessons from Lilika. He very well could have been; I was far from the only observant person in our circle. "I'm not gonna tell you how to feel, except that your experience is unusual in this world. That's something you can use to move yourself forward."
"That would depend on my experience be-..." Finishing that sentence was not in either of our interests. I shook my head and sighed. "You're right. I hadn't thought of it that way."
"What are friends for?" Friends were for love, for understanding, for hope. I had to be providing that to my friends, as well, for them to see so much meaning in me. Interacting with many people on a daily basis had taught me that few indeed would have chosen to deal with the wererats, rather than obliterating or avoiding them. Whether that was cynical of me or not, it made me feel as if I had made a difference in spite of my fear. Unlike many of the bad things that had happened to me during my time here, I had a choice in the matter, and I chose. The help of my friends had spared that choice of terrible consequence. I was grateful that I'd been provided a safe way forward. A new goal materialized in my mind: to stop devaluing the care my loved ones showed me, even internally. Being young didn't mean that I was getting younger. Most things in my life wouldn't leave me a choice, but when I had one, I had to make sure that I did my due diligence in choosing correctly. If dragons meant freedom to me, then I'd like to choose that meaning in myself.
Slefkin's Steelworks featured an impressive facade. Tall pillars of metal adorned either side of its sizeable entryway, with decorative flourishes regularly augmenting these pillars. It was so flashy and unique that I recognized our destination without needing the sign to be read aloud. "I don't like these big places, but big places and big names... urgh."
"Our goal right now is one month of rent. You may not have to deal with it for very long. Who knows if we'll even be here by then?"
"That's what I'm telling myself. Let's give it a try." We gave it a try, and after we were given a tour of the steelworks, which encapsulated an impressively large area, Keff was refused. The manager insisted that Keff's talents wouldn't translate to larger scale construction-based projects. As eager as I was to disagree with a capitalist, I could understand his rationale. We watched the formation of enormous steel girders; it was a far cry from Keff's artistic, detailed weaponry. Much of the next several hours were spent this way. My legs were aching by the time a job was finally secured. The city armory needed a new junior smith after the previous one had been promoted. I put on the best, most silent show of confidence that I could manage while Keff stated his case. Though the word was used, his over-qualification was not an issue for the project manager of the armory. At two gold per day, the pay wasn’t bad, either. Compliments were paid in particular to the silvering of Betiara's sword. An offer to buy it was declined.
"It'll do," Keff assured me as we emerged into the Outer Second Ring. "You did good in there, thanks again for your help. ...what's wrong with your face?"
"My legs hurt. I need to rest before I meet with Sekvi."
"Mm, you should probably do that. Uh... there, lunch."
"Now we're talking." A nearby eatery was a solace for our empty stomachs and weary legs. Now that Keff had income, he treated me to a nice, full meal. The customs around food in Nereved were different from that of Karthos Bend, and the warmer climate was easily noted. Coarse, whole bread was served with wine in which to dip. Cured olives were served as well, alongside a smooth kobraan hummus with slices of a zucchini-like vegetable. Nerevans seemed to enjoy their bitter flavors. It took me a few minutes to acquire a taste, but I found myself enjoying our meal more than I expected to. I expected it to be very nutritious, as well. The juxtaposition of food I identified as sunny and Mediterranean with darkened clouds over sweeping plains was amusing to me. We took our time, deciding that we had earned some relaxation during our time here. Keff was likely enjoying the change of pace from hard tack and sandwiches as much as I was. "You know, there's food like this where I come from."
"No kidding?"
"Yeah. This is really old, historic sort of stuff from, like, Greece and Turkiye. It's really nice." Keff chuckled at this revelation.
"Sounds like you're having a good time."
"I am. Thank you for this. It's... moments like these that feel the weirdest, you know?"
"I know you like those fried dumplings."
"I could eat a thousand of those things a day," I joked. "No, but like... sitting down at a restaurant that serves what would be, to me, foreign food. This kind of thing is considered really normal where I come from, to some people, anyway. I could never really justify the expense and just ate the crap I made at work every day."
"Oh, you cook better than that."
"I do, but it was like I was making cheap, unhealthy, factory production food, you know? It's nothing like this. Anyway, I'm finally getting to experience something that many people see as perfectly normal, and I had to come all the way here to experience it." I took a sip of my wine, something I had never much enjoyed until now, and looked over my nearly empty plate. "Having friends, doing work that I don't despise, traveling... it's just ironic. I never would have expected to live a life like this in a place like the Cradle." Keff watched me with a hint of concern in his eyes. He gently nodded his head as he listened. Upon conclusion of my sentiments, he gave his wine a swirl before taking a sip of his own.
"I didn't grow up well-off, either." These words lingered in the air longer than expected as Keff temporarily disappeared into his thoughts. "Normalcy isn't something everyone gets to experience. It's kind of funny to me, too. I never thought it'd take me two days to find work, but, here we are. We make our own normal, don't we, for better or worse?"
"We do. This just feels... really better, and I'm glad to have you and the others to experience it with."
"Are you still doubting your worth? You remember what I said?"
"I don't think I'll ever forget it. I'm not doubting it as much as I used to; I was thinking about that earlier, actually."
"I'll bet. If it were me, I would have killed those rats."
"I thought about it..." Doubt started to encroach into my expression, which saw Keff shake his head.
"You thought about it, but you didn't. Instead, you took on a huge risk so that Lilika and Rags wouldn't get hurt, and you got a new friend out of it. What kind of person makes that choice, Madison?"
"One who cares, I hope." That was why I wasn't completely destroyed by my brush with death yesterday: it was, again, because I had a choice in the matter. The choice had gone well, and I had managed what I intended to enact. Hurt was visited upon me, sure, but even in life-threatening circumstances, my friends had all had my back. It was either choice, or a delayed emotional reaction of some kind. I decided to incubate the sentiment over the next few days.
"I'd say so. Come on, this is expensive, eat it all." I didn't need to be told twice. The calm of our meal provided a pleasant emotional trajectory for our walk back to the apartment. My legs were still sore, but the hour or so it had taken to eat had returned some of my energy. Keff decided to spend the rest of his day at the library while I rested between outings. Lilika saw a fortuitous opportunity to test a healing salve on my aching legs. It worked like a charm! Hours of punishment disappeared from my muscles in mere minutes. She was happy to see that I seemed to be doing well after the harrows of the previous day. Several different wellness questions were given satisfactory answers; I was simply glad that everyone was okay, and that I wasn't a wererat. Lilika was similarly well, which meant my only grounded worry was over Betiara's wellbeing. The way she pulled away from me so quickly and placed so firm a boundary felt startling. As well, she was otherwise all over me while we ate. I suspected that my encounter had reached her more deeply than it had the rest of us. She was a shifter... of course she felt it more deeply.
Lilika had some charcoal handy. I asked for her help in writing a message on the wall in my room, which she provided. In Common, I wrote above the bed in letters large enough to fill the wall, "I AM NOT AFRAID OF LOVING YOU." I sealed the sentiment with a drawing of a heart in place of a period. We hoped that the message would ease some of her concerns. After I left the room, Lilika added in smaller print along the right wall, "we respect your boundaries and aren't trying to press them. She just wants you to know that she's grateful to be with you." The messages could be easily wiped away after having served their purpose, but something about the patchy black dust against rough stone felt storied to my eyes; it suited the sentiment well. I carefully lay Betiara's sword in its proper place and asked Lilika for help with writing a letter to Vaun and Rica. Even the boon of Comprehend Languages didn't allow me to write in different languages; it only allowed me to read them. My adoptive mother's grace flowed without restraint as she created some kerva-based ink. As I began to write, I discovered to my immense excitement that my intrinsic understanding of Draconic translated to its written form. My words slowly bled black-purple over the parchment.
"Nioto, friend and fellow dragonborn,
My friends and I made it safely to Nereved, and we've provided the administration our report. News is now circulating of what transpired in Karthos Valley, so the refugees should receive some aid. The scale of the city and its impressive architecture are a wonder; I have never been to such a populated place in my life. The positives and negatives have found me in equal measure during my three days in the city. I miss the peace of the valley as much as I miss our conversations. By that I mean that I miss them both very much. Life is faster here, unpredictable, loud, and full of surprises. I have befriended an unlikely circle of interesting folk, joined the ranks of the Arcanist Conclave, and just today, I discovered the true culinary potential of olives.
The Sun King himself has taken an interest in our troupe of friends. I am sure that you remember our speculations of the magical effect that saturates my presence. Its nature has been revealed to me. Speaking of specifics in this letter would be unwise, but I can assure you that it is a boon to my understanding of myself. Your wisdom has grown roots in me, and by that merit, the rest of us as well. There are other dragonborn in the city, but there are no Niotos. I thank you once again for your willingness to abide one previously hostile to the idea of religion, for your understanding, and for your generosity. Should I meet anyone through which I can provide a positive word for your standing, they will hear of your many kindnesses. How do you fare in Letvel? What discoveries have you made? Whose hearts and minds have you touched? I would be happy to discuss any and all topics of your choosing.
Yours in eager correspondence,
Madison Cantrell
P.S.: The translation guide you gave me kept me sane during our six weeks on the water. I am learning to speak more confidently due to your aid. Thank you again."
Lilika looked over the letter as the ink dried. "So this is Draconic?"
"I think so. It looks like the words in the translation guide, see?" I opened the book and showed her a translated passage of a song. The letters were almost identical... almost. Neither of us were sure what to make of the difference.
"That's amazing, sweetie. Wow. This must feel real affirming."
"It does. Unfortunately, I don't think Vaun and Rica speak Draconic, so I'll need your help for this next letter."
"Let's get started, then."
"Vaun and Rica,
I hope this letter finds you well. First and foremost, I owe you both an apology. I regret that I wasn't able to meet your kind offer to visit you. Our ship to Nereved arrived earlier than expected. The next time I'm nearby - which I plan to be, given how much I'm missing Karthos Valley - I'll treat you both to gifts and more to make up for my misjudgment. You are both deeply kind and I can only imagine that you were as much of a blessing to your father as you are to me, if not more.
Nereved is a wonder. It's the largest city I've ever seen, and its complex network of roadways both on the surface and underground are dizzying! Sekvi is very much at home in this environment, and the rest of us are acclimating. Betiara and I have happened upon an opportunity to see her principles spread to new ears, Keff has secured work with the city armory, and Lilika is crafting amazing medicines. I managed to join the Arcanist Conclave, which grants me access to sizeable libraries; I see now why it's the destination of so many wizards. Misty Step has become a permanent fixture in my Spell Tome, though I thankfully haven't had to use it yet. It brings me much comfort to know that if I ever find myself in a bind, that I can simply step my way to safety. For now, we're renting a cozy apartment on the eastern side of the Third Ring. We all hope that things are good for you both in Letvel. Lilika, Rags, Keff, Sekvi, Betiara and I welcome any news or topics of correspondence.
Yours in friendship,
Madison Cantrell"
I sat back and looked over Lilika's neat, practiced handwriting. "How's that?"
"That's great. I haven't written a letter in a long time; I hope I spelled everything right." Lilika held the letter aloft and gently blew upon the ink to help it dry more quickly.
"The thing is, we have another problem now." I folded my arms atop the table and lowered my chin to rest atop them.
"Getting these posted without the guards seeing us," she ascertained without delay.
"Exactly. I didn't say anything sensitive, but still, he doesn't need to be creeping our mail or our friends." Lilika tapped her index finger on the counter as she pondered our options. An idea quickly came to her.
"We just befriended someone with 'eyes and ears everywhere,' someone that really wants to meet Betiara." My eyes widened with excitement.
"I have an invisibility spell!" A plan for securing a low profile had cleanly materialized. Satisfied, we sat the letters aside to dry, and proceeded to make medicines until Sekvi arrived. I looked inward as we worked. It felt necessary to double-check my surprisingly light emotional state. Taking a pragmatic view of yesterday's troubles revealed that the benefits may have simply outweighed the negatives. I hadn't become a wererat or a werewolf, and I hadn't died. The wererats were able to make medicine for themselves now, which meant better health for them, and my friends' social stations could see an improvement of their own. Everybody ultimately won... except for Betiara. Short of searching the entire city for her right, I would have to wait until tonight to show her that I understood her concern, or to gain better understanding if I didn't. I did my best to accept that I couldn't address the problem right this second, and redoubled my focus on the herbs I was grinding. Lilika and I were making medicines that would stall the development of lycanthropy; magic was generally required to excise the condition in conjunction with these herbs, but they would still benefit those in the early phase.
I felt lucky once more to have the assistance of my friends while lycanthropy's magic was setting in. The fear I felt would have created even more incongruity within me. I wondered, as I passed Lilika a completed mix of powder, what reasons some had for embracing the differing varieties of the condition. Betiara and Toddrick could have had the same fears I did at first. The nature of the experience seemed to be inherently traumatic, but they had found it empowering once they had achieved balance within themselves. Many of the other wererats evidently had, as well, given their stability and organization as a cohesive group. I wondered if I could take a leaf from their book in finding balance within myself. The thought resonated with Lilika's words on the previous morning. The goalposts of my physical comfort had shifted, but my progress was still continuing toward that goal. Were our journeys similar in any way? Speaking further with the wererats and utilizing the Conclave's libraries would likely give me insight into their experiences. After what I had seen yesterday, I felt that the common wariness of lycanthropy was likely borne of ignorance and over-caution.
"Aha, there they are," Sekvi said in announcement of their arrival. They stood between us with an arm over each of our shoulders. "My favorite little family. How fares your crafting?"
"It's going well," Lilika answered with a smile. Several finely minced powders had been bundled and tied within small sections of wax paper. "Did you make some money today?"
"Lilika, I have made some money today." A collection of gold coins caught the light as they extended their hand. I quickly counted ten, which was an enormous sum for a day's work. "I took first prize in a musical competition! As news of my newfound talent spreads, my name gains further purchase in higher society. It is only a matter of time before the Sun King invites me to play."
"Well done, sweetie! It's great to see your hard work paying off." Lilika's hand gave Sekvi's a set of gentle pats.
"That's seriously impressive. I, um..." I hesitated, unsure of whether to broach the subject or not. The personal nature of our eminent outing made me feel that my offering was in the spirit. "I'm sure your parents would be proud of you, too." Sekvi took a breath and nodded their head. The way their fringe momentarily fell over their eye was almost poetic.
"Thank you. I feel, though they've gone from here, that I can be closer to them through my music." They took a moment to recompose themself. "Now, before we get underway... how are you feeling, Madison?"
"I actually feel okay. Um, I'm worried about Betiara, but other than that, I think the way you all helped me yesterday made me feel safe. And I've always needed to feel that way." I met my friends' eyes and saw enormous relief wash over them both.
"That's wonderful news. We strive to affect this for each of our number."
"We sure do, and we'll do the same for Betiara. Now you two should get moving, this rain's due to get worse later on. Thank you for your help today, sweetie."
"Of course, mom. Thank you." With that, I took my staff and my cloak, and ventured outside once again with Sekvi leading our way upward. Our destination was the Seventh Ring, where both a bathhouse and a tailor awaited us. I felt exceptionally out of place as we stepped outside. All of the wealthy people in clothing that broadcasted that fact made me want to withdraw into myself. The bathhouse only furthered this notion, though Sekvi navigated our interactions with a single second look in our direction. Meticulously smoothed stone adorned the interior of the bathhouse. Dappled red marble formed self-contained mosaics that drew the eye as we prepared ourselves to bathe. This facility featured small changing rooms off the side of the bathing rooms themselves, which slightly eased my anxiety over the experience. Trays with perfumes, and myriad cosmetics were freely available to everyone. I obliged myself with some horn oil before we settled into a comfortably warm, small bath off to the side of the main area.
"Ahh..." Sekvi spread their arms over the rim of the bath. No time was wasted in their luxuriating. "Do you see why this is a frequent haunt of mine?"
"Yeah. It's really nice." I started my scrubbing with my tail, thankful to have the proper tools to fully address my scales after six weeks of bathing in rivers and rain barrels. "Karthos Bend's baths were geothermal, right?"
"That they were, yes."
"That couldn't be the case here, right?"
"Mm," they confirmed with a grin. "I do so enjoy spending time with you, my perceptive friend. These baths are heated by an extrapolation of your cinder block. This allows the temperature of the water to be very closely moderated; it's delightfully consistent." I placed my hand on the wall of the bath, finding it to be warm to the touch.
"That's impressive. No wonder it costs two gold to bathe here."
"It's money well spent, in my opinion. One can never have too nice a bath." We went about our washing. I was mercifully paid no attention by the patrons, though Sekvi frequently received quick greetings. As I neared completion of my arms, I decided to venture a moment of deeper conversation. "I feel a little out of place."
"I can tell. That isn't meant in admonishment, only understanding; we've both come from less fortunate backgrounds. Would you like to hear how I came to acclimate myself?"
"I could use the advice if we'll be buying fancy clothes." Sekvi sat forward in the bath and clasped their hands together as they spoke.
"These people are not better than we are; they are merely people, the same as you and I. If anything, our confidence is more substantial, because we have earned it." A cocky smirk crossed their face. "Plus, I'm a magic user, which is ultimately more potent than a moneymancer." I couldn't help but chuckle at Sekvi's enthusiasm. Spending time with them was very enjoyable.
"I'll try to keep that in mind."
"Please do. Your staff, your tome, your sash; the marks of a studied wizard will make an impression. Speaking of impressions, I hear you made one upon your new friends."
"I hope so. I, uh, offered to introduce them to you and Betiara. I hope that wasn't unwise or untoward."
"No, no," Sekvi said. "I make no habit of declining friendships. What is their interest?"
"They're diligent gatherers of information. They need basic resources, more than anything." I was happy to see that Sekvi was so receptive to this idea. Hopefully Betiara would feel the same way.
"Information is a more valuable currency than gold," Sekvi insisted. "We'll establish a meeting. Will Betiara be attending?"
"I hope so. I'm... worried about her, Sekvi."
"Mm, all of us are, and she worries for us, as well. Do you know who she protects?"
"Probably a wealthy person?"
"The owner of the armory," they whispered. "The word is that things are growing tense along the border to the south. More orders, a need for security..." I leaned in to join them in hushed conversation.
"Do you think we should be worried?"
"Likely not, but it's good to stay abreast of such things. Do me a favor, and keep your ears out at the Conclave?"
"Absolutely." The members of the Conclave were likely connected to all sorts of big figures; I was sure I'd hear something sooner or later. I didn't feel comfortable with possible war looming over me, though. Another monumental disaster was the last thing any of us needed, let alone the other innocents that would inevitably become involved. The rest of our bath was of a lighter tone. Sekvi's advice had helped me feel a little more confident in my presence here, and their company only bolstered the effect. Being sparkling clean always felt nice to me. I had assumed that we were going to leave after we dried off, but instead, we were apparently due for a manicure and a pedicure. Never in my life had I felt less comfortable, but seeing how well my claws were kept afterward made me feel that it was almost worthwhile. The tailor we were to visit carried a big name in Nereved. Upon hearing how much money Sekvi was going to spend on me, I attempted to tell them that the bathhouse had been enough of an experience for me. They had none of my protests, and ushered me inside.
Being measured for custom garments was another facet of Sekvi’s level of society that I hadn't yet acclimated to. In spite of myself, I very much enjoyed the soft materials, the rich colors, and the fact that their magical thread would guarantee longevity. Prestidigitation and Mending would only further guarantee preservation. This was the type of poverty tax I was familiar with; affordable supplies cost less, but performed their job to a lesser longevity. Finer materials would outlast their cheaper counterparts and pay for themselves. As such, Sekvi impressed upon me the importance of selecting something I expected to be happy with for some time. I could not be further out of my element if I tried. My eyes were drawn to slimmer designs, rather than the puffy ballroom dresses on central display. This venture was more practical by merit of my socially reclusive nature. One garment's design finally caught my eye: a slim dress with shirt and coat, colored an earthy green that shimmered emerald under direct light, fading into a gentle golden color at the hem, with matching golden appointments that swirled upon the form-hugging curve of the upper coat. A white under layer, similar to my previous dress but with finer make, assured gentle comfort against my legs. Its wide collar would both reduce the apparent width of my shoulders and frame my draconic head very nicely.
This was to be my clothing for the foreseeable future. Sekvi and I picked out a set of complimentary brown boots and gloves to fill my ensemble while the tailor and her staff set upon creating a dress to my specification. Many hands made less work, and within the span of two hours, it was ready. I exited the changing room only for my reflection to steal my breath. I looked beautiful in this. It made me look lean, professional, equally practical and competent. Even my necklace sat upon my breast in a pleasant fashion. My friend let out a joyous squeal and hurried over to me so they could apply a gold bracelet and simple horn rings. Somehow, despite the obvious high standard of clothing I now wore, it remained modest and down-to-earth. I couldn't imagine walking out of here in something else. With the outfit paid for and its magical weaving assured, I donned my newly brown cloak and carried my previous outfit over my arm. To my amazement, the plush material of my new outfit repelled water, which would see me dry and comfortable under this heavy rain. "Doesn't it feel nice? You wear it so very well, Madison."
"It does," I replied, unable to wear any expression but a smile. It was like something out of a fantasy book. "Thank you so much Sekvi."
"The pleasure is mine," they assured me. They wore an enthusiastic smile, but it began to wane as they lapsed into silence.
"What's wrong?"
"I was remembering the first time I bought myself fine, gender-affirming clothing. My robes came from that very same establishment! I felt like a prince."
"I feel like a princess," I admitted, pleasantly swaying a bit with each step.
"Then I've provided what I hoped to provide. Good..." Sekvi lapsed into silence, but I could tell they had more to say. I gently placed a hand upon their upper arm in invitation for them to speak. "I appreciate the patience you've shown me since the demise of Karthos Bend. When I experience something of that caliber, it... takes time for me to understand the emotions the event inspires. You did not press me, but you remained open and receptive, all this time. Thank you for that." It was finally happening; Sekvi was finally opening up. Gone was the confident swagger that had turned from assuredness to a mere mask. This show of generosity had indeed been a bid at personal connection, and they finally felt safe enough to speak.
"It was worth waiting to know that you'd be okay in the long run. You've taught me a lot, and one of those things is the power of pattern recognition."
"You are my very best student," they offered as their eyes began to well up. "I've been a buzzing hive of conflict. Regret was a prison that made me feel as if I had to let everything fall into a great chasm. I didn't try to salvage anything that was lost, and merely allowed myself to lose, as my parents did." All I could do was listen now that they were speaking. This matter had been weighing on them for months.
"Is that something you regret?"
"Not any longer. Anger is... unfamiliar to me. When I saw my entire life leveled, it was all I could feel for some time. Only when I sat with you in transit did that begin to change." I remembered the words they had said to me that night. Those words would live in me forever. "I believe it's finally dissipated, as has regret. There are some things in this world that we can change, Madison, and many that we cannot. My parents' death was inevitable, as the case is for all, so it's pointless to let myself fall with them before my time."
"I think you're very right. Is this why you go out and busk so diligently?"
"I've come to find a profound sense of meaning in entwining music into my craft. Like you, I wish my magic to be woven of art. This was a way in which I could take something terrible and transmute it into a story of understanding for others." Sekvi looked over to me, their pace slowing slightly as we entered the bustling Underground. "It seems we've taken turns in inspiring each other, yes?"
"It feels special to know that I can give something back." My eyes momentarily fell as fading gray light transitioned into that of steady amber. "You and the others really make staying here worthwhile."
"The feeling is mutual, I can assure you. Anyway, thank you for hearing me. I imagine this revelation is perhaps anticlimactic, but I've always been of a private emotional life." They raised a pointer finger as if to make a declaration. "I shall, however, make these sentiments known to the others so that they can understand, now that your understanding has bolstered my confidence. I trust you know that you are always free to speak to me, as well."
"I do. Thank you, Sekvi the Song Weaver."
"It suits me, doesn't it?" I couldn't help but smile over the lump in my throat.
"It really does. Your trust means a lot to me, and so does everything else you've done to make sure I'm comfortable. I can't even..."
"Ah, worry not over repayment. This is a gift."
"Oh, no, but thank you. I can't, um, imagine the kind of loss that you've been feeling. This whole time I was afraid that I'd never understand, and that you'd feel lonely forever because of it." I rubbed my arm as if doing so would relieve how self-conscious I felt in this moment.
"Oh, Madison... is that really so?"
"I never felt that I had parents to lose, you know?" Sekvi's eyes lingered on me, which drew mine to meet theirs. Our pace slowed to a stop. They took a silent breath in an effort to soften a shattering sentiment.
"But... you did."
"I... did." A swirling torrent of emotions became a hurricane within. Anger, loss, fear, despondence, and a terrible yearning surfaced in me. Something unexpected came of them. I felt the familiar cold of survival in my arms and shoulders, but all the emotions phased through the barrier instead of taking hold of me. My existential self was suddenly a sieve that allowed so many painful memories pour into the ether. A feeling of lightness began to replace what was confusingly lost. "What am I feeling right now?"
"I try to ask myself the same question on a daily basis."
"I should start," I observed in a whisper. "I feel lighter. Like so much hurt is leaking out. My emotions are bleeding but it doesn't feel bad..." Sekvi's hand gently came to rest on my shoulder.
"Your grief is acknowledged. I believe it has finally served its purpose."
"That sounds like something mom would say."
"I imagine so. I looked to her for inspiration on the matter. Are you alright?"
"I think I am, actually." My breathing was measured deeply as I closed my eyes. I felt considerable pain, but it was as rain upon my cloak; it didn't soak in. In a silent expression of what I was feeling, I gently wrapped an arm around Sekvi's and leaned my head against their shoulder as we resumed our pace. This was a momentous event: I was healing. True healing had finally resumed after the destruction of Karthos Bend. I had to be honest with myself in this moment. Going back to Earth was something I felt I could entirely do without. This world, the Cradle, with all of my good friends, felt more like home than anywhere I had ever been before. Realizing this fact carried me forward with a caliber of peace that I'd never felt until now. I spent the rest of our long walk home in consideration of how I'd address Betiara and her entirely justified fears. Seeing me suffer due to lycanthropy had likely terrified her. She didn't want to inflict it upon me by accident, and I imagined that she didn't want our love to become a vehicle for such an experience. This all spoke deeply of care for the relationship we shared. I once again felt like a princess.
We found the entirety of our group at home when we arrived. Betiara stood and embraced me without a word. I reciprocated her embrace, giving her a tight squeeze as I pressed my cheek to the breast of her armor. "You look so pretty in that."
"Thank you. You smell like safety." This observation made her chuckle. We moved to the bedroom to talk, each taking a seat on the bed with hand and paw clasped.
"Thank you for your message."
"Of course. I was worried it was too much."
"No, it put me at ease. I've been worried all day." I moved myself a little closer to her and looked up to meet her eyes.
"Tell me about it."
"I've spent all day tied in a knot about whether I was being fair to you or not. Wondering if I'm worried about nothing, but, Madison, I can't stand the possibility of becoming something that hurts you. I'm not comfortable with those deep kisses anymore. You still want me; that much is clear, and I still want you, too. Is that okay?" Betiara's ears pinned back as she talked. She held her head low, with a tone to match.
"I still want you," I confirmed, brushing my cheek against her shoulder. "We don't have to French it up to show each other that we love each other. I love you, not kissing; it's just one way to show that. You're what I'm in love with, risks, boundaries and all." My breath shuddered as my eyes welled up. I hated that she had to feel so afraid of hurting me when there was nothing in kissing me that could be wrong. How long had she felt lonely and isolated before we found each other?
"I hate that we can't do normal things like that together."
"Well, we're not very normal, are we?"
"No, we're not." Something precipitated out of these words that I never would have expected: a laugh. Betiara began to laugh first, and she quickly had me join her. We embraced each other again, laughing together while her tail wagged and mine slithered back and forth over the bed. Life felt so much better in this moment. She was a werewolf and an exemplary political activist, and I was a stranger to this world that became a dragon. None of this prevented us from wanting the best for ourselves or each other. The similar lengths of our snouts allowed us to plant simultaneous kisses, mine against her neck, and hers atop my head. We had understood each other. Everything was okay. Our relationship had only become stronger in the wake of our difficulty. This resolution made us feel so much more real; our love was full, and seemed determined to stay that way. I had never felt love like this before, and I was eager to experience as much of it as I could.
Betiara and I joined the others for supper. We ate in the loft, as usual. We caught up with each other; Keff was wary of his new job upon learning that military action could be on the horizon, as was Betiara. They would have their respective ears to the ground at the armory, I would have mine listening in the Conclave, and Sekvi would be able to cover the streets. Lilika, meanwhile, would correspond with the rats of the city. We were all eager to avoid another Karthos Bend. If war came to Nereved, it would be ideal to flee before we became endangered. This uneasy note carried through the conversation, but having a plan, as loose as it was, helped us feel more secure. Our night came early, a boon for aching legs and worried minds. I was diligently folding my outfits for storage when I caught Betiara eyeing my pajamas. The marvel of a movie poster being recreated on the shirt had escaped my notice; she found it to be absolutely astounding. I spoke to her of Star Wars until we nodded off together.