Betiara must have carried me to bed last night, given that my last memory consisted of falling asleep against Rags. Rags was a very good boy... nightmares woke me early this morning. I was a dragon, but I wasn't me. The entire dream, a dream that felt more like a memory, was entirely dark. Sounds and sensations enclosed the periphery of the experience. I tasted blood, felt Therimurk's voice rumble deep within my throat. Hunger, demands, a searing pain that tore scales from his body; all had felt perversely familiar as I slept. I hated the way his misshapen memories felt. His life had been a mire of loneliness and predation, which was the life of a weak dragon that cared only for his own gain. The very concept revolted me to the point of nausea. I felt that he was still in me somehow, that he had left a stain of darkness that I could never shine away. A pointless fear gripped me: when I finally managed to achieve the shape I had dreamed of all my life, would I find myself twisted in the same way that Fithi had been? Fithi hadn't deserved any of this, but I couldn't deny that shared predilections had been the bridge Therimurk had crossed within her.
I sat in darkness, wide awake, eyes focused as I stared into the ether before me. Betiara breathed softly upon the floor below. Keff's snoring was distant and muffled, and I heard no signs of food being prepared for breakfast. It was early, but it wasn't too early for me to begin extremely necessary work. Formulas and familiar shorthands blazed through my mind as I theorized spells more powerful than I had yet composed. Everything was stacked higher, explored more thoroughly, and streamlined as efficiently as possible. This raging engine of ruin was fueled by the traumatic experiences I had accrued over the course of my life. I slapped a metaphorical supercharger atop each spell, with one in particular feeling informed by equal parts of anger, need and practicality. My very being had been wounded; sitting around and trembling in fear wasn't enough for me anymore. Therimurk would have had his way with his prospective vessels if I had remained idle, paralyzed, crippled by gossamer intimidation. I told myself that I would never let such evils happen to me or those close to me ever again.
It wasn't terror that shook me as I worked, but righteous anger. Therimurk had nearly stolen one person's life from them, and he had nearly stolen mine, as well. He had been successful in stealing Fithi's sight. As resistant as I was to becoming emotionally close to her, I recognized that we shared an unfortunate bond now. A trauma bond, a battlefield bond, it was something of the sort. Ideas came to me in crystalline fervor as I stared into the shadowed room, calculating, formulating the next phase of my magical development. I imagined four spells that would meet immediate and consistent needs: a spell that could immediately end magical casting, a spell that could dismiss lingering magic, a spell that would ensure my safety while at my most vulnerable, and a spell that would visit terrible destruction upon those that would threaten the same. Each notion was easily within my current capability. A Transmuter's Stone, as well, was something that I felt I could establish. I decided that I would do little more than complete these goals in the coming days.
With these formulas memorized in shorthand, I used Prestidigitation to clean my clothes and began my day with purpose. The sun rose as I rolled vegetable dumplings around an oiled pan. I had prepared an herbal sauce akin to pesto using kobraan juice, oil, wild nuts and pleasant-tasting herbs that approximated basil. One by one, my friends emerged from their rooms to check on me. "Hey Rags, morning, boy," I whispered to my first guest. My anger had passed in achievement of my plans, leaving me tired. Dumplings would give me energy for the day, and they would make a great prelude to a drink. I intended to keep the promise that I had made to Gwyl earlier this week: I would save the drinks for after my business for the day was complete. My friends and I were soon sitting in the loft for our usual, communal breakfast. As we ate, the others filled each other in on the developments of the previous day.
Betiara went first. My girlfriend explained that the owner of the Nereved Armory had been summoned to the castle just before sundown. She had been instructed to wait at the gate while her charge went inside, and was relieved of duty after her charge conducted a short meeting with the king. Keff confirmed that the two had left suddenly. He further explained that his workload was far heavier than he had expected at the armory. The weapons were all very standard, and he knew that it would be another year before the guards were due replacements, so he imagined that whispers of war could easily become shouts in the near future. This news inspired unease in us. Sekvi proudly explained that they were writing several new songs that were guaranteed to dazzle their audiences. They promised to perform them for us when they were done. Lilika, meanwhile, had arranged for a wererat to meet me this morning. We were to provide what food we could spare as well as the letters we needed to deliver. In return, they would meet Lilika tonight to discuss a neutral meeting place.
As I bit into my second dumpling, there was a sharp knock at the door. I shivered in immediate recollection of what people called a 'cop knock.' Betiara and I exchanged a quick smooch on my way down the stairs. The caller was likely here for me. I was startled as I opened the door to reveal the Starlit Knight themself. A stiff nod was paid to me, and a small wave was offered to the rest of the household that were peering down the hall. "Madison. Join the Conclave within an hour. You are required." I didn't like the way they phrased that statement.
"Are we going to the castle?"
"Yes."
"Should I bring anything?"
"Spell Tome, and one guest."
"Oh. Okay, um, I'll be there. Do you..." I glanced down the hall with a look of uncertainty. "...want something to eat? I made breakfast, and I know you're busy."
"No. Thank you." They turned and left in their usual, mechanical manner. I saw our neighbors across the hall staring from behind their cracked door. One of them managed a wave before the door quickly shut. I closed the door upon realizing I was standing there with a flummoxed look of amazement on my face and a half-eaten dumpling in my hand.
"You are required," Keff repeated in imitation. "Did that sound weird to anyone else?" Agreement was unanimous.
"I wonder upon what lay behind that mysterious, dark armor," Sekvi posited. "Do you think they have a condition of some sort?"
"It would’ve been healed by now. Let's get back to breakfast, y'all."
"It's their armor," Betiara confidently asserted. "Even I'm not graceful with all that weight on me." I thoughtfully chewed my dumpling as the others shared a laugh over Betiara’s joke. She and Keff had no interest in visiting the castle with me. Lilika told me she would go if only to guarantee safety and emotional support, but Sekvi was almost desperate to come with me. I couldn't bring myself to say no to them. They dressed in their finest robes and quaffed their appearance to the utmost degree. My more reserved fineries would see me through the coming affair, though I folded my cloak into my bag, as I felt that a traveler's cloak wouldn't become me in a castle. The rest of the group wished Sekvi and I luck, and I gave each friend a hug before we departed. We were to meet our postal contact in one of the hallways off the Interior Third Ring's entrance, which was conveniently on our way to the Conclave. I cast Invisibility on myself before opening the door to our apartment so that Sekvi appeared to be walking alone.
Our plan quickly came to fruition. Sekvi and I kept our eyes out for rats. Sure enough, we found a rat, but we also noticed a guard trailing us. Sekvi continued onward as I split off to address the rat; they would be busking in the atrium, which would allow me to pass the guard from behind without arousing suspicion. "Hey," I whispered to the rat. "It's Madison. I'm invisible; I have the letters." The rat squeaked in response and began to lead me further into the hallway, out of sight from the main road in. Once the coast was clear, they shifted into a halfling and held their hand out to me. I passed the bundled food first, then a package of medicine, and finally the two letters for delivery.
"They're not even sealed?"
"I've been busy not dying hundreds of feet under the city. By the way, there's a ghost of a... just really, don't go down there. That one needs to go to Nioto, and the other to Vaun and Rica, both of Letvel."
"Noted. Well, thanks for the supplies. I'll be in contact with our man, and we'll be in contact with grandma."
"Thank you, I appreciate that. Please be safe." They hurried off, leaving me to my devices. The sound of a symphonia emanated from around the corner. A quick glance showed me that I was still alone, so I dropped Invisibility and rejoined the main thoroughfare. Like clockwork, I reunited with Sekvi and headed up to the Fifth Ring. The trip was made easier by the recovery of my legs, for which I had Lilika to thank. I adjusted my sash as we stepped into the entry hall. My teacher wore a bright expression as they surveyed the space.
"Today, Madison, we dine among giants. Are you ready?"
"I am not looking forward to meeting the king again. He's probably going to pull me aside for some weird... aside," I speculated, casting a wary look around the room. A gathering had formed in the center of the space. Fanciful clothing and obviously prominent figures made me feel as if I were entering a ballroom.
"I suppose that is a possibility."
"What are you going to do at the castle?"
"Drop to my knees and beg to become a court jester," they joked.
"Hah. Save some for me." We moved further into the room to join the mass of people before us. It took only moments for our presence to be noticed, which inspired cheers, applause, and a swarm of people converging around me. My fight-or-flight response went haywire. I had never received so much attention before, let alone such positive attention. A stunned expression was affixed to my face as I beheld so many smiling faces, as well as a few sour ones beyond them. "Um, hel-"
"Everyone, thank you, thank you!" Sekvi's instant sway over the situation was absolutely astounding. People began to quiet so that they could easily hear us speak. "Please give my student, my colleague, and my friend some breathing room. Her words are soft, but weighted with esteem." I sputtered an objection only to be beset by quieter introductions. So many people shook my hand or offered bows. Was this going to be my life now? None of their names or occupations were being finding purchase within my mind; every interaction felt blurred to me.
"Um, good morning. It's nice to meet you, too. Oh, I'm well, thank you. Um... well, I suppose there are many implications, each as wonderful and terrible as the last. We may be able to find out what happened to them." I answered as many questions as I could. A hand on my shoulder preluded Sekvi whispering into my ear.
"You're stunning, my friend. Pardon me, for I'm off to shmooze." They departed without another word, leaving me alone with an amount of people that made my heart palpitate. I noticed royal guards standing along the perimeter of the space, with a few speaking to familiar volunteers from yesterday. As well, the Starlit Knight themself was among the throng. The shade of their helmet obscured their speech or lack of it.
"Have you suffered any ill effects from your exposure to the spirit?"
"No, thankfully, my exposure was brief. If you have concerns, my colleague Fithi is in greater need, but I appreciate the gesture." It was so difficult to maintain this social mask. The coming endeavor would be a battery of social tribulations; I hoped that I would find a way to draw power from that battery when assembling my spells.
"You're so kind, Madison." My chest leapt in fear; it was Fithi. She had appeared next to me with a wooden sighting cane, dressed in a shimmering yellow dress that used to match her scutes. "So, how are you enjoying the festivities?" Rest seemed to have done her well, given the stable tone of her voice.
"It's a lot to take in. How are you?"
"Better than ever. I'm so ready for today." Those gathered around us could no longer hold their questions back. A merciful scare came in the form of arms clacking against stone. The room fell silent as all eyes turned to the Starlit Knight.
"All," they labored, "to the castle." With this announcement, the guards and relevant Conclave members formed a procession. Sekvi fell into the plus ones while Fithi offered me her arm. I took a breath and linked arms with my colleague as we joined our fellows.
"What do you think the castle's like?"
"Far away," I offered in the shade of a joke. It was enough to make Fithi giggle.
"Seriously? Are you that depressed? This is the best day of my life." A pall was cast over me as she spoke those words. Fithi was not a kind person. I had seen the shades of self-interest many times, and they had recently reached new depths. Each example grew seeds of unease into rotten vines.
"I hope it'll only be better than you expect it to be."
"I hope you'll manage to have a good time, too." I rolled my eyes. The department heads filed into the traveling troupe in a practiced manner. Gwyl, who wore a surprisingly masculine set of fine merchant's attire, assumed my left side.
"The stars of the Conclave! You both look great."
"Thank you," Fithi and I responded at the same time. After Therimurk's transference of my memories, I felt terribly uncomfortable with simultaneous speech. Being underground wasn't helping my anxiety, either. The deliberately carved nature of my surroundings prevented me this anxiety from developing into a full-blown panic.
"You look great, too," I offered.
"Oh, this old thing?" Gwyl grinned and elbowed me in the thigh. "I decided it was time to live a little."
"That's what I'm trying to tell Madison."
"Is everything alright?"
"Yes, I just have a lot on my mind. The weight of all this, you know? New spells, new projects... and I'm worried about these rumors of war."
"They're just rumors," Gwyl asserted, clearly attempting to ease my worries. "The border with Alanuwa has always been tense. Sekvi's diplomatic work has smoothed things over time and time again."
"Our home country would know better than to press the Conclave after the discovery we've made, wouldn't they, Madison?" I felt Fithi's hand pat against my forearm in what was intended to be reassurance.
"I suppose so," I offered in favor of concluding the subject. Fithi and Gwyl spent the rest of our walk in spirited conversation while I lapsed into silence. Ascending the Rings of the city brought me some reassurance. The amber light, upward motion, the imminent promise of daylight... each piece of this wellness puzzle played a part in steadying me. Sekvi's company, though not immediately adjacent, also lightened my spirits, but I didn't know what to expect when we reached the castle. The Sixth, Seventh and Eighth Interior Rings were larger inside than I had anticipated them to be. There were few aesthetic differences between these Rings and those lower, but the height afforded merciful quiet with fewer people traversing the area. Our guarded procession drew equal attention here, however. I had long been overwhelmed by the social pressure of this event, and we hadn’t even reached the castle yet. Was Fithi wearing a mask as well, or had she really recovered so thoroughly in the night? It concerned me that she hadn't seemed troubled by her blindness. Perhaps the events of the previous day hadn't sunken in yet.
"You've been cleared to enter this time, Madison," Peksum informed me after searching my person. The entire group had left their spellcasting equipment behind. I, however, had been uniquely allowed to carry my tome into the castle. I gathered that the king had personal interest in my rubbing of Therimurk's gravestone.
"Thank you." With that, the guards opened the gate before us, and we proceeded to enter the castle grounds. The building seemed taller without the walls' intrusive monolith segmenting my view. Grand wooden doors stood before us, requiring the strength of several guards to open them from within. I didn't know what to do with my hands without a staff to fidget with. The interior of the castle was more Spartan than I had expected. It was surprisingly cool, despite the sun's rays constantly warming its stone. Polished stone of red, white and gray adorned its structure, with fresh wooden rafters adorning the roof in a pleasantly minimalistic fashion. Great stained glass windows cast myriad colors over the soft green carpet at our feet. They appeared to depict various scenes of Nereva's history. Nereved’s banner graced the walls in regular intervals to complete the decorative ensemble. I noticed overhanging battlements above us where archers surveyed us at ease. Nereved was truly a city intended to protect the wealth it had come to possess.
Our troupe wound through various staircases and hallways. Recessed amber lights glowed with a greater intensity than their underground counterparts. The quarters in these spaces were tight, almost claustrophobic, which I assumed to be quite intentional in limiting through personnel. Eventually, however, we finally found ourselves on a higher floor of the castle where another great set of double doors awaited us. Two knights, clad in brilliant white armor, provided a brief overview of etiquette before we entered the throne room. Their explanations were helpfully exact. I did my best to cram this information into my head, though it competed for space with my worries and plans for the afternoon. The doors to the throne room opened far before I was ready, revealing hall sizeable enough to house a king I knew to be a dragon. We all filed inside and lined up for a bow. There was one black carpet in this room, one that started wide at the entrance and tapered to a point at the other end. Atop this point was a single throne that hosted the Sun King. He was flanked on either side by white-clad knights, quietly joined by the Starlit Knight at his right side. Towering windows adorned the sides and back of this immense room.
"Rise," the king gently instructed, and we did so. "It appears the Conclave's recent expedition was a resounding success. Department heads, I await your reports, beginning with Abjuration." The abjurers were on the far right of the room, and we were on the far left... the transmuters’ report would be given last. I took this opportunity to learn what the other departments had discovered while Fithi and I had nearly met our deaths. One by one, the department heads listed their contributions. New species of post-volcanic plants, a new type of mineral, and a chamber with unique acoustic properties were among my most favored finds. It was finally Gwyl's turn to present our findings. I took a steeling breath and glanced back at Sekvi for reassurance, which they offered in the form of a smile. The full detail of our encounter, unfiltered, was provided without the mention of my species or origins. I saw the king's expression slowly wake from a pleasant mask into genuine interest as our department head spoke.
"Fascinating. Everyone, you've done your city and your kingdom proud. I have decided to award the Conclave 1000 platinum pieces for your revolutionary discoveries, and a further 1000 gold pieces for each participant and department head. Your donation will be securely delivered to your home." The king sealed his statement with a gesture toward the doors. A convoy of chests carried by pairs of physically capable individuals was opened to display the wealth within. My mouth fell open; what was I going to do with one thousand gold, a sum I likely couldn’t even carry?! My cloth bag had strained under the fractional weight of such a sum in Letvel. Smiles erupted all around me; some even shed tears. This amount of money could change lives, but knowing the expenses of wizardry, it would only get me started. Still, I had no plan to refuse the contribution. "Thank you all for risking yourselves for the sake of your kingdom. Each of you will have your individual contributions featured in upcoming announcements. You have made your king very proud. Please, enjoy the castle; the banquet hall is open for those wishing to partake. ...Fithi, Madison, I will ask that you stay behind. Sekvi, our illustrious diplomat, return to me once the transmuters are dismissed."
"As you wish, your eminence," Sekvi responded with a bow. A river of people funneled out of the room, and the doors shut behind us with finality.
"Approach me," he instructed. Fithi and I, arms linked, stepped forward until the king raised his hand to stop us. We were mere yards from the throne we beheld with raised heads. The Sun King stood and confidently descended the carpeted stairs. "How do you two fare?" I decided to let Fithi answer first.
"Losing my sight won't prevent my art from reaching the world, your majesty," Fithi asserted with a light bow. "I feel more capable than ever."
"You exemplify Nerevan values well, Fithi. I understand your approach to magic is unique."
"I haven't seen anyone wield a brush like I do, your majesty. ...not that I see much these days." This elicited a chuckle from our host.
"They say those that lose one sense gain two in its place." While the two of them were engaged, I noticed the faint glow of an airborne presence outside the window. Sekvi had told me about this capability of the castle. The presence was a bird... Lilika was watching the proceedings.
"Oh, sire, I see so much more now. Every movement around me trembles my senses. The only time I need this cane is when I'm alone, but I've decided to carry it for appearances," she explained with a hint of darkness in her tone.
"Extraordinary, truly extraordinary. Tell me, would you be interested in becoming the city's commissioned artist? Murals, canvas, official portraits; it seems only fitting that a pioneering brush should immortalize our halls."
"I would... very much, enjoy that, yes, your majesty." Fithi was crying. It seemed entirely genuine; perhaps there was a heart somewhere in her after all. I was relieved that her harrows would provide her some positive benefit.
"Then we will have you. Meet with the mayor, he will see you to your accommodations. Guards, escort our newest member of staff to the mayor's office for immediate hire." He appeared to be done talking, but he quickly posed an addendum. "And arrange transport for Paladin Belot of Letvel. I will assemble a force to dismiss the vile spirit below."
"Your lordship." The two white-clad knights escorted Fithi from the throne room, her arm in one of theirs. An earth-shaking clunk saw the Sun King, the Starlit Knight, and I alone together.
"Leave us." The Starlit Knight raised their hand, snapped their fingers, and vanished in a small puff of smoke. "Madison Cantrell, you impress me."
"I appreciate that, your majesty." The king nodded his head and gestured his hand toward the stairs.
"I knew that if anyone would find something in the Caverns, it would be you... Sit with me." This request felt strange to me, but the two of us sat together, two dragons surveying the vastness of the throne room without a single soul to interrupt us. Deep quiet focused my attention forward. "Therimurk... how is it that you resisted his attempt to possess you, and Fithi did not?" I had to decide my answer carefully. Silent moments of thought felt agonizing in the weight of the king's attention.
"I couldn't speak to Fithi's experience," I began while I studied the carpet below. It was inky black, seemingly infinite in depth, exactly like the Caverns had been. "Um... he couldn't offer me anything I wanted, your majesty." This wasn't the entire answer; I had no plans to tell him the specifics. Broad strokes would suffice.
"And what is it that you want? You have money, royal favor, notoriety, relationships, a profession... the will of a dragon, soon to bloom into reclamation. What do you lack?"
"I've... been asking myself the same question, your majesty." The Sun King and I made eye contact. His regal calm and thinly veiled ferocity spoke volumes of his character.
"I'm sure you've researched what it means to be a child of the stars."
"I honest haven't, but I think I just realized what the phrase refers to." My eye ridge furrowed as I considered this revelation. The context of the phrase, when presented last night, suggested that Therimurk knew I was from a place other than the Cradle. I had been too disrupted to realize it until now. "Your majesty."
"You are far from the first, Madison. I can’t help but wonder what it's like to go from one world to another." His raised brow expressed genuine interest.
"It's like I'm alone in a way no one could ever understand."
"Similar to hiding one's draconic being, then?"
"In a way." Was he really trying to empathize with me?
"I could arrange a way for you to return home." Our eyes met again. Why did he... he thought I wanted to go back to Earth. I hadn't made that decision yet, but he didn't know that. This meant that I could either get the outcome I wanted, or potentially use this to turn his manipulative tables against him.
"In exchange for...?" He chuckled at my measured response.
"You're perceptive. I feel our city would be served well by a draconic protector. Imagine what a mighty symbol you would be, one the people would rally around." I had to wonder why the king himself didn't fill that role.
"So war is coming."
"It might be. Negotiations hang in the balance, hence my interest in Sekvi's aid. Don't repeat that, by the way."
"Never, your majesty. ...what if I don't want to be great, or powerful, or wealthy? I just want to go home." The king's eyes squinted slightly as he read me. Everything I said was true, though the home I most wanted to return to was our apartment on the Third Ring.
"If war were happen, it would come soon. Study, reclaim yourself. If you adequately serve your city and your king in the coming month, I will arrange permanent, prepared, and comfortable passage back to your home world." My gaze faltered downward. There was no way the offer was genuine. Was I so high on my own supply that I would risk imprisonment, death or other unpleasant consequences for attempting to outsmart the king? Choice had been a new opportunity for me in this world. In recent days, I'd made choices for myself and others that had seen positive consequences. Without my presence and intervention, Lilika and Rags could be dead. Without my presence and intervention, Fithi could have died as well. My friends told me that I had gathered all of them together, and a bad decision could blow back on those same people. The Banishment spell would be a potent backup plan for me. Could I formulate it in time to escape potential consequences? Where would such a choice leave my friends?
I had to make a choice that I could stomach at the end of the day. No matter the results of my choices, I knew in my heart that I really wanted to stick it to this pompous, arrogant, egotistical leech that thought he could play people like a fiddle. "I don't want to have to fight in a war. I just want to go home."
"You may not have to," he reminded me. I didn't believe him for a second, even as his expression fell. "There are no other dragons in my life, Madison. I feel the same loneliness that you do. A friend, a confidant, a pupil; any of these connections would be worthwhile to me. Regardless of war or emotional connections, simply sharing in draconity would be helpful to us both." I almost felt bad for him. The memory of him taking Betiara by the neck simply to prove a point won out over any hesitation I had. Helplessness and inaction weren't going to aid any one of us against the threats of the world.
"...you can guarantee my passage home?"
"With utmost certainty."
"Alright. I'll try to... get myself unstuck. If I do, and the location is, um, inopportune, could you do damage control?" The satisfied expression on his face was enough to confirm that my bluff hadn’t been called.
"I'll see to it myself, Madison Cantrell." I took a breath, pretending to ruminate on my options. A shake of my head contrasted the king's reserved expression of concern. The decision I made in this room could shape the rest of my life.
"I hope my contributions will be enough."
"Your contributions will be accepted in good faith... within reason. Thank you, Madison. You are dismissed." It took every ounce of self-control I had to bow to that sentiment. Negatively reviewing the ideals of monarchism was easy in the year 2024, but coming face to face with such an opponent was a different matter altogether. Stepping into the hall brought relief from the king's massive presence, and the visage of Sekvi hurrying to meet me only eased me further.
"So, how was your meet-... did something happen?"
"Just impostor syndrome," I lied, glancing toward the guards out of the corner of my eye. "Good luck in there. I'll meet you at the apartment; I have spells to transcribe."
"I suppose greatness has a learning curve," Sekvi replied. They gave me an encouraging smile as they made for the throne room.
"There's a, banquet?" I posed aloud to the guards. She explained the optimal route for reaching the banquet hall below the throne room, which was equally dizzying to the trek upward. I arrived in a grand room that featured nine long tables. The central three were piled high with food, but food wasn't what I was most interested in. Bottles of wine, fine and freely available, made for attractive quarry. I slipped three of them into my bag, took a pear-like fruit as well, and silently left the room. The return of my items was painless. I decided to take a moment of calm at what I had come to dub my perch. Resuming my most favored view in Nereved quickly brought my adrenaline back to baseline. A clear blue sky with clouds sweeping high overhead was a newfound panacea. Gone, for the moment, were my awful memories of being underground. The fire, the darkness, and the fear all melted away from me. I commemorated the moment with a sip of wine. My peace was interrupted only minutes later by heaving metallic footsteps. The Starlit Knight approached without accompaniment.
"May I sit?"
"Y-, yeah." The enormous knight's stiff movements inspired my curiosity once more. I caught myself staring and offered them the bottle in recompense. An armored hand raised in refusal. "Rough day?"
"Always." It was difficult to assess this person. They served the king, which wasn't to my liking, but they were different from the usual fare of royalty in a way I couldn't quantify. "And you?"
"I am not cut out for social engagements," I confessed after taking another sip from the bottle. The wine was pleasantly fruity and bitter in equal measure. Prestidigitation had seen the cork free; hopefully replacing it would be equally trivial.
"You... favor this place?"
"You know what I am, don't you?"
"Yes. Return at night," they suggested. Conversational whiplash was beginning to set in. The castle had felt terribly tense, but speaking with this person felt as gentle as daylight itself. "The wind is stronger. The lights are brighter. Moon shines over the water." My mental image painted a favorable portrait indeed. I wondered if Betiara would be receptive to coming here with me.
"How did you know about me?"
"A feeling." Trying to see beyond their shadowed visor was a fool's errand; I returned my attention to the plains far below the Ninth Ring of Nereved. "Star children are often great."
"I don't want to be great," I responded with undue velocity. My tone sank to its usual calm as I shook my head. "I want to be happy, and I want to be safe."
"You can find that here."
"I'm not so sure," I lamented. My social batteries were empty. "Thanks for sitting with me, I'm just..." Finishing that sentence was beyond me. When no words arrived, I stood and left the Starlit Knight to watch the sky without me. The bottle's cork was replaced with several Prestidigitations both heating the bottle and chilling the cork. It was time to focus on my spells once again. Three of them would better guarantee safety, but one was a terrible tool meant for terrible foes. I hoped that I would never have to use the fourth. These thoughts troubled me as I entered the Transmutation department of the Arcanist Conclave. The handful of people present, including those that had thought little of me before our expedition, offered me passing greetings. I did the same in the interest of fostering new relationships. My desk was not my destination; I needed to work through these spells alone. Hours ticked by, as did bottles of ink and wine. Two abjuration spells put me through my paces, testing me to my current limits as a practitioner of magic. The second Evocation spell and the final of my planned four, however, tested me emotionally.
Fellow transmuters filtered in and out of the Conclave while I worked in a focused flurry. Upon my spells' completion, I stood back to behold my work. Twelve bottles of ink and two bottles of wine sat scattered around the reading desk. My coat was draped over a stiff wooden chair that had constantly infuriated me, but I had used that fury to fuel the completion of my final spell. Counterspell, Dispel Magic, Tiny Hut... and Fireball. "Madison?" I jumped at the sudden presence within the library.
"Hey, yeah?"
"You've been in here for hours," Gwyl observed. "What have you been working on?"
"Spells! Four spells. Um, could you help me test them?"
"I could. How can I help?"
"Um... training room." I quickly tidied my work space to its formerly pristine condition and joined Gwyl in the training room. The target I had destroyed days ago had thankfully been replaced with a new one. A slight dizziness lingered in me; I couldn't tell if it was from the abundance of alcohol or the lack of food. "So, for the first one, just cast a spell at me, any spell. I'm gonna try to dispel it as it's cast."
"Alright... let's try this," she announced as she thrust her scaled hand in my direction. Green flame began to erupt from her palm, then fizzled into nothing as I clenched my fist. I found that casting Counterspell fatigued me further than expected. This was of no concern to me. "Good, very good!"
"Thank you. Now I need a continuous effect to dispel."
"I can handle that," Gwyl assured me. A set of hand motions and magical utterances procured green flames at her feet. I recognized this spell as Expeditious Retreat, which I imagined to be potent in her capable hands... or feet. Dispel Magic and Counterspell were very similar in implementation. A steeling breath allowed me to gather identical energy for this second stage of experimentation. "Chalupus maximus," I whispered, and gently tapped Gwyl's shoulder. The flames fizzled into nothingness once again.
"Very nice. Next?"
"A ritual to create a disguised, homeostatic bubble for eight hours," I explained. This spell would be perfect for providing me shelter and solitude. If I were ever caught on the open road, as well, I could quickly provide a perfect campsite for the evening. "It should take maybe ten or fifteen minutes to cast?"
"I'll watch," Gwyl said with a smile. I got to work as the department head plopped herself down with her arms folded. My staff glowing low and gentle began the process. The arcane recitations for Tiny Hut were chanted in English, which felt more congruent to my pennings than Draconic. A rose gold sphere of light, barely a grain of sand at first, eventually grew to a sizeable dome of translucent energy. I took a breath upon its completion and invited Gwyl inside. She bumped against the outside with a chuckle, confirming the security the dome would offer me. The air within was perfectly comfortable to me: still, dry, and a pleasant 72 degrees Fahrenheit. With a wave of my hand, nothing seemed to happen, but I saw my department head grin. "It looks just like the stone of the room. You know, magic users with your natural inclination don't come along every day." This felt like an especially high compliment for someone as confident in her abilities as Gwyl. I hoped that I wasn't going to reach a discouraging plateau as I continued my studies.
"Thank you. Um... alright, there's one more."
"And what spell would that be?"
"I call it Fireball."
"Fireball?! What do you need a spell like that for?" The mood of the room had dramatically shifted. Her question had almost sounded accusatory, and I couldn't honestly say I was surprised. It was a terrible spell made for destruction and nothing more. I watched her indignation begin to fade as she inferred why I would have composed it. Pieces were being put together. "Madison, I think I understand, but you have to realize that yesterday was an anomaly. People don't explore dangerous locations like that very often, and fewer find ghosts of ancient dragons."
"But they're out there," I countered as I emerged from Tiny Hut. The dome immediately faded behind me. "Gwyl, there are burrowelters, and dragons, and war that could potentially erupt anywhere in the world."
"You probably won't find those things unless you go looking for them."
"I didn't go looking for an earthquake." The kobold's green scales caught amber light as she raised her hands and rested them atop her head. She closed her eyes with a sigh.
"Help me take the targets out, then. We can't replace all of them in a day." Fatigue was beginning to set in as we prepared the training room to contain a Fireball. Gwyl instructed me to stand back and focus ceaselessly on my target while I used the spell. I nodded my head and honed my vision on a single central spot within the room. Every ounce of upset I'd held over Karthos Bend and its consequences welled into my chest and tapered into my right hand. Frustration, anger, dismay, longing, loss and regret swirled into a terrible fever. This spell would be my testament to everything I had lost that day and all the helplessness that I had accrued over the course of my life. With my pointer finger extended, I whispered my chosen incantation.
"For Karthos Valley." Time itself seemed to turn glacial. A red hot streak of light whistled through the air, its piercing note recalling a falling bomb in a movie. The following flames surged through the entirety of the training room, spilling far enough out to ignite one of the targets we had moved. A puff of smoke formed into a likeness of Therimurk's eyes, which twisted my countenance into a snarl. His evil had stained me forever. Providing alert and the means to scatter his spirit wasn't what I considered victory. Someone had been permanently harmed while I cowered in the dark, helpless, useless and afraid. Fighting his influence had turned him toward a person of lesser will. Fithi carried some of his very memories now, and the experience had destabilized her physically and emotionally. She was scarred now; choosing to go with her had ensured her physical autonomy, and she would have likely been a vessel for untold destruction if I hadn't outsmarted Therimurk, but my failure was still my responsibility. H would live in me because of it.
Gwyl's expression grew troubled as she looked at me. I understood; little escaped her fabled perception. We approached the burning target and used Prestidigitation to extinguish the flames that threatened to permanently harm it. The rumble of Fireball had brought a handful of Conclave members into the room to investigate its source. I saw the blackened walls of the room and felt a ping of haunting familiarity. Our cleaning was conducted in silence until my guilt forced me to explain myself. "I... I learned something while I watched Karthos Bend burn, Gwyl. None of us could do anything. We found a few survivors, and we dug the graves that we could, but aside from that, we couldn't do anything at all. Earthquakes happen. No one can stop that." A final cast of Prestidigitation removed the remaining scorch from the training room. I leaned my staff against my breast, letting the cured wood rest in the crook of my arm. "I won't be helpless again."
"As long as you don't blame yourself for what happened," Gwyl insisted, her raspy voice falling to a near whisper. I felt that she understood my experience. She found my proposed methods controversial, as did I, but she saw truth enough to let them be. "Even if you couldn't stop it, that doesn't make it your fault."
"You're right... that's why it hurts so much." I was urged to eat something and leave Gwyl to return the targets, but I decided to help her before departing the Conclave for the night. Utterly spent, I took several breaks from walking on the way home. One of these breaks was spent buying wine and two loaves of bread. I considered stopping at the bar near our apartment, but decided that I wasn't able to socialize any further today. My trek through the Fifth, Fourth and Third Interior Rings felt akin to walking along a deserted road at midnight. It was like I was alone in a way no one could ever understand. The inked sky that signaled my arrival at home indicated that I had long seen the last of today's light. I nearly bumped into Lilika as I stepped inside. She was in the middle of putting her coat on, with Betiara armoring up beside her. Had I taken so long to return home that my friends had started to worry? I felt that guilt would never stop piling upon me. "Hey, I brought bread."
"Oh, Madison," Lilika breathed as she fell upon me in embrace. "We were worrying about you. Sekvi said you were working on spells but you were gone so long, sweetie!"
"I'm sorry. Time got away from me." I was unable to raise my voice beyond a hoarse whisper as we hugged. Stress and fear melted from me in this moment.
"Love," Betiara said, closing her arms over us both. The warmth of my mother and my girlfriend scathed callous walls that had built in me today. I collapsed into tears as we moved to the bedroom. The two bottles of wine in my bag clinked together when it came to rest on the floor. Betiara paused, looking down at the bag with a furrowed brow. "What happened?"
"A lot, just, a lot." I recounted the day's events for everyone. Keff and Sekvi joined us moments later in their nightwear. My very quiet confession of misleading the king caused varying stages of dismay for my friends, with Betiara’s reaction being the strongest. Keff voiced his concern for my wellbeing after I explained my long absence, and Sekvi's face considerably hardened when Fireball came up. I felt as if I'd ruined everything. They were all speaking simultaneously until I covered my ears and tightly closed my eyes. Betiara brought everyone but Rags out of the room. I heard the balcony door open and close, announcing an eruption muffled speech from outside. My girlfriend's voice quickly rose in volume, and the conversation momentarily paused. Chunks of bread torn from a loaf were my first attempt at self-care since the day began. Lilika appeared minutes later with some food for me and sat beside me on the bed.
"How are you feeling?"
"Guilty. Angry. Scared that I fucked everything up."
"Everything is fine, sweetie. We're just worried about you."
"That's what I mean, though," I explained between mouthfuls of soup. "I wasn't trying to make anyone worry; I just... need to deal with all this."
"We worry because we care," Lilika insisted, drawing her hand down my back in a reassuring manner. "Something terrible happened yesterday. It's still fresh. Would you like to spend time with the rest of us tomorrow?”
"I feel like I might need the opposite right now." Our faces bore our uncertainty in plain view. "I don't know, it's what usually helps me. I think I just need to not be around anyone for a little while. That's how I've learned to regulate myself, and being in a group and the city kind of... I haven't been alone in a long time."
"Do you think it could help?"
"It might. It has. I don’t know what to think anymore." I drank the rest of my lentil soup, loudly exclaiming as the bowl slipped in my hand. Anger spiked within me at the sight of Sekvi's gift being stained with food... Prestidigitation. A huffed sigh steadied me enough to clean the garment in seconds. For lack of a better word, I felt fried. "Yeah, I need some time alone." I felt that by asserting this need, I was betraying the others in some way. Spending time together lifted my spirits, and gave me a sense of grounding in this strange world against all of its beauties and terrors. If I were back on Earth, I would have remained helpless and unsupported. My friends and my magic gave me a way to equalize some of the pressure that bore down on my existence. As terrible as it would have been to see Lancaster burn, I knew that it could never compare to the tragedy of Karthos Bend. I felt that I had belonged somewhere for the first time in that town. Many people thought of certain locations as home, but given that locations were never static, I felt more at home with my friends. This made my need for space all the more difficult to reconcile.
"Then you should take that time." Would the others feel the same way? "What would you do?"
"I think I'd... I have a project to work on, but I might take some time to lay out in the field and breathe." The answer had come so naturally. Were these my draconic instincts, or simply a desire to fly away from my problems? Lilika draped an arm around me and pulled me closer. I lay my head on her shoulder.
"That sounds real nice. What would you work on?"
"Some transmuters make objects that can provide passive magical benefits without active input from the caster. They provide a kind of... constant increase in efficacy. They're often stones, apparently, which I think I could make if I sat down and focused on it." I could tell what Lilika was doing, and it was working. Magic was critically important to me, both as a means of self-expression and a manner in which to establish myself in this world. It had also become a means for connection through the Conclave. I found Lilika smiling as I looked up at her.
"Your muscles relaxed when you talk about magic. Going out into nature to create something new... you might not be a druid, but you have a druid's heart." She laughed, and I found myself easing further. "I saw that in you the day we met."
"What is it like to talk to animals, mom? I've always thought that was really cool, but I think it's outside the purview of Arcane, um, discipline."
"It really opens your eyes," Lilika explained as she resettled herself on the bed. "They're every bit as alive as we are; their interests and purposes just develop in other directions. We seem more intelligent until you realize there's more than one kind of intelligence. What's more intelligent to you, a bird that navigates the world's wind, or the people in your world that threaten their whole species with destruction?"
"It looks one way from the ground, and another from the sky," I ventured as the final fumes of panic burned off.
"Seeing both perspectives is what makes a druid. If you only see one, then you live in a tiny little world." Lilika gave my arm a gentle pat. "And you've seen two."
"I haven't seen much of either."
"But you're working on it, even while you need time to yourself," she noted. Ceaseless insight welled from Lilika in a way that rendered inspiration as breath.
"I'm trying. I love you."
"I love you too, sweetie. You're alright; we're all in this together, aren't we?"
"Definitely." I took a calming breath and rubbed the bridge of my nose. "How did you learn to talk to animals? Is that something I can learn?"
"Oh, that... wasn't something I learned." Lilika shrugged her shoulders. "That was something I was given. Or, well, technically I found it."
"What do you mean?"
"I haven't been completely honest about my knowledge of Old Nere, but I suppose now's the time to tell you." I sat up and looked on with wide-eyed curiosity. "Look at this." She retrieved a small, wrapped object from inside her coat of fur and feathers, handing it to me with care. Within was a small stone figurine that was carved in the likeness of a bear.
"A bear?" Lilika nodded her head.
"I found that deep, deep in the East Karth caves. I was... five, six years old then? It was sticking out of the mud in a collapsed hallway, which I knew was a hallway by the right angles in the rock." Right angles... my breath caught in my chest; I had seen a right angle in ancient rock just yesterday. "Anyway, when I cleaned it off, I held it for a while, just looking at it. Then all of a sudden, something came into me. I don't know what it was, but on the way back home I could understand what the squirrels said to each other."
"Do you think you were...?"
"No, I don't think so. I was still me, and as far as I know, I still am. After hearing what happened to you and Fithi, it, well, almost sounded familiar." I watched Lilika closely as I thought to myself.
"I wonder what happened to them."
"Me too, but building so far underground like that, your encounter... I think some things should stay buried. We have lives to live right now, and they're long done living theirs." These were wise words. I had no desire to delve into such matters anymore. The bowels of the planet were no place for a dragon. As peace returned to me, this wisdom grew; Therimurk was dead and buried, and soon his last remnants would be gone with him... save for what he left inside Fithi and I. Lilika and I emerged minutes later to bid Sekvi and Keff goodnight. Betiara and I cuddled on the bed together. Even while shifted, she was too large to easily fit, so she functioned as a heavy blanket of sorts. I saw her eyes linger on my bag a few times as we lay in quiet. She was worried, even at her most peaceful. My hand easily got lost in the scruff of her neck as I told her that once I learned to Polymorph myself, we could run together on the plains with the moon high above us. I knew she couldn't understand my words right now, but the way her eyes closed made me think she could feel my intent. There were so many things in this world that I wanted to understand, and Betiara seemed like the best place to start.