The nightmares continued. I awoke in a contorted position with my right hand clutching my left arm. It took far too long for my pulse to return to rest as I stared up at the ceiling. I felt so upset that this was happening to me. My dreams used to be normal, but that awful dragon's ghost had found a way to haunt me no matter how far I strayed from those damned Caverns. I climbed down from the bed to embrace my fluffy protector, who rose with a bit of a start as my arms closed around her. We settled together, resting quietly on the floor of our room. Sunlight was beginning to filter into the apartment. Our magical candle had started to flicker from my movements, but it eventually settled into a gentle green waver atop its pedestal. There was light, and there was Betiara... I was safe. Waking this way would eventually take a toll on my health, and I already feared my long-term prospects after sustaining so much stress in my life. I'd hardly experienced had a single good day until I arrived in the Cradle.
"I'll visit the temple today," I quietly assured my girlfriend. "It's too much; I don't want to be afraid of sleep, too." A low, canid grumble was Betiara's response. It wasn't an angry sound, simply her standard vocalization while in this shape. She knew that I was in distress, and she didn't mind being sought for relief. I trusted the assurance she had repeatedly offered. True to her word, we lapsed back into sleep. My second attempt produced mercifully forgettable dreams. Betiara had returned to her intermediate shape to place my pillow under my head, and she was diligently watching over me when my eyes opened again. Her face made me feel so safe.
"You slept better this time," she observed as she pet my arm. I allowed my eyes to close in gratitude.
"Thanks to you."
"Well, you trust me. I think that's the bigger compliment." Betiara's heart would be the prized treasure in any dragon's hoard. "If we're going to a temple today, we should wait until midday for less company. I know crowds make you nervous."
"How could I deserve you?"
"You forgave me when I made you cry," she began with a soft smile. "Then you supported me when you had reason not to, you stood with me when I needed someone the most... and just yesterday you kept me from becoming plant food. Should I keep going?" It was much harder to deny these contributions when presented with an itemized list. I lay myself over Betiara, taking a deep breath to steady my myriad emotions.
"It's easy when you love someone."
"That's why I'm going with you today."
"Is there only a sun temple here, or is there a moon temple, too?"
"Both. Don't feel pressured to choose Lunata for my sake." My love's strong arms closed around me. She had a uniquely effective way of making me feel protected. "And if one doesn't have the solution, we can go to the other. You need reliable sleep."
"Will you be alright?"
"Will you worry about yourself for once?" I relented in spite of the fact that I worried enough for the entire group. A hefty paw slowly traced down my back. "What did you talk to Sekvi about?"
"Oh, that spell! I know what to do with it."
"And?"
"That's a surprise." Betiara had been interested in my recounting of Star Wars during our stay in Letvel. I wanted to surprise her with a Star Wars comic book! The idea felt silly at face value, but I considered it a stroke of genius on my part. Fabricate, as I was already calling the spell, would be able to assemble raw materials into a finished product as long as I had the expertise required to do so. I was no artist, but I had a sharp memory. Each scene of the first six movies had been burned into my mind over countless viewings; these very clear memories were all I needed, as I could merely recreate the pictures I saw in my mind with ink. The only problem was that I could only write English and Draconic scripts, but I had a plan for that aspect of the project, too. Sekvi, the ever diligent linguist, would be able to translate each meticulously memorized quote for me. I could study this translated dialog in the first pressing to achieve a second. So many books would materialize in front of me if I possessed the materials. Given how successful the story had been on Earth, I imagined that it would find an audience here, as well.
Betiara found my mischief amusing. "Alright then, keep your secrets." That was a phrase I had taught her on the ride to Nereved. We emerged from our room to find that breakfast had already been prepared. Leftover bread sat atop the still warm stove, and beside it was a simple lentil soup. Lilika had left a note in charcoal: 'Taking a nature day on the North shore. Keff said he'd be at the library. If you need me, Betiara can follow Rags' scent. We love you!' Beside the message was a charcoal cartoon Lilika giving us an encouraging thumbs-up. "She's so good to us," Betiara observed after reading the message aloud.
"All of you are," I countered with a smile.
"I concur," rang Sekvi's enthusiastic tone from the loft. Their hand appeared above the wall to wave down to us. "Bring your food and enlighten me of your proposition! I am quite eager to hear it." We sat down with Sekvi moments later, taking a comfortable seat atop a set of pillows that lay next to the heat vent.
"So... get this: Fabricate. I'm gonna use it to make a book, but not just any book: Star Wars, Episode IV: A New Hope!" I watched Betiara's face alight with excitement. Sekvi was intrigued by my revelation, though their response was more measured.
"Oh, no way! What... what will that look like?"
"And where does my assistance come in?"
"So ordinarily I'd need to be an artist to recreate images," I began, "but I have every single moment of the first six movies memorized. I spent a lot of time alone as a kid, and we had a DVD player and the box set, so I watched them all the time when I was home alone. I know them better than I know the back of my hand, which means I can simply direct the ink to reproduce the visuals in my memory, so it'll be mostly visual, with little dialog bubbles alongside the pictures."
"That sounds so cool," said Betiara, her tail eagerly thumping her pillow. “So you'll need Sekvi to translate the dialog?"
"Ahh, an astute observation, Betiara."
"Details are my job... it was my job." Oh no. As she'd done for me yesterday, I returned the favor by continuing the conversation along a different track.
"I also need you to hook me up with a publisher. You have to know someone."
"There is one I know, Padeji Publications, on the East Sixth Ring. The Padej family hails from across the ocean, it's rather fascinating. Anyway, do you feel this visual book will find an audience?"
"Definitely. It's a new media that no one here has seen before, and it's a classic hero's journey that all kinds of people can relate to. It made three quarters of a billion dollars at the box office in seventies money, and it's one of the movies that cemented the decade as the golden age of film." The more I spoke, the less silly this idea felt to me. It was all coming together. "It's simple, it's timeless, it'll resonate. Even more so, if this does well, we'll... we shouldn't ever have to work again. We can redistribute so much money in this lopsided system. Anyway, Sekvi, I need you to help me negotiate a contract." Betiara watched us in open-mouthed surprise. Sekvi, meanwhile, was carefully considering my proposition. Time slowed to a crawl while we awaited their word on the matter.
"I see no harm in procuring an original document that we can bring to the publisher. It will ultimately be their word, though there are other publishers we could visit if they decline us; the Padejis are merely local and reputable."
"Is that something we can do today?"
"I don't see why not! I'll prepare my finest robes... you know, Madison," Sekvi began as they stood from their pillow. A surprisingly serious air came over them as we locked eyes. "Your prodigal insight into universal magic is nothing short of extraordinary. In merely two months, you've begun to rival my sophisticated skill. You're entering the upper echelon of magical ability now, and I only ask that you consider yourself and your spells very carefully as you move forward." All this time, I thought my friends had merely been encouraging me to pursue an interest. I hadn't realized until this moment that my magic had become powerful. There was so little to compare my ability against... which told me that Sekvi's observation was absolutely warranted.
"Do you... think this is a bad idea?"
"Not at all, this is very much in line with your character, your magic, and indeed the legacy of dragons. However, heed the warnings of Keff and Lilika: as your ability grows, so too will attention and accountability. My advice is to not wield such power lightly. Do you understand?" I immediately thought of Fireball, and how I'd declined to prepare it for our excursion into the grassland yesterday. Karthos Bend had been bad enough, but a wildfire was another level of destruction that I simply couldn't bear to cause.
"I do. It's... I chose my spells very carefully yesterday. Fire isn't the only thing that can burn." Sekvi gave my shoulder a pat as they approached their bedroom.
"I trust I will always be proud of my star pupil, the first and likely the last," they said with a smile. With that, they disappeared into their room to change. The air felt oddly heavy in their absence.
"I like watching you transcribe spells," Betiara offered in immediate relief of tension. She wore a bright smile that gave me all the confidence in the world. "I'll come with you two to the Conclave."
"No," I said too quickly and too loudly. We stared at each other until I realized that Betiara likely wanted an explanation. Her ears folded back as confusion entered her expression. "Sorry, I, Fithi might be there and I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. She wasn't a nice person before Therimurk... and now she's... different in ways I don't know yet."
"She wouldn't cause trouble in the open like that," Betiara countered after a moment of thought. "We could take her."
"We don't know that," I cautioned, my voice losing its steadiness. Fithi gave me a bad feeling every time I thought about her, and this time was no different. "I don't want to risk you. If something happened... you heard Sekvi, responsibility." A new look came over Betiara. She was hurt, incredulous, and the very sight threatened to squeeze my heart until it popped.
"I wanted to support you and be there for this moment," she said in a hushed tone. My girlfriend, clearly hurt, stood and walked downstairs. "I'll be back after I get some air. Come find me when you're ready for the temple." The door quietly closed behind her, but the gentle impact was enough to shatter the moment like glass. Why was she upset? Had I done something wrong? Was our relationship over? Terrifying questions pressed in from all directions. Her hurt couldn't be irreparable if she was still willing to help me. I wished that Keff and Lilika were here to provide their sagely advice. The sound of a door opening behind me announced a shirtless Sekvi leaning into the room.
"I couldn't help but overhear," they stated. It was the understatement of the century. "Would you like some advice?"
"Did I ruin everything? I just want to keep her safe." Sekvi held up a hand as they spoke.
"You made the right decision. She hasn't seen the terrible possibilities of magic that we have, but I advise you let this matter breathe for the time being. Betiara is a reasonable and understanding person. Take some time to think between our errands today; I guarantee she will do the same." This cryptic warning inspired little confidence. I did my best to prevent tears from welling up; if I had hurt Betiara, then they weren't tears I deserved. They were not earned, and they were better her tears than mine. "You should get dressed, my friend. We've much work to do." Dressing myself in fineries was a stark contrast against my emotions. All I could think about was Betiara, and my guilt grew as I tried to resume focus on the day's activities. I had to find a way to make this up to her. A genuine, thorough, real apology was necessary. I didn’t want to ruin the first serious relationship I'd ever had. Even more importantly, I didn't want to be the reason Betiara suffered.
Hushed whispers surrounded Sekvi and I as we entered the Conclave headquarters. People stared, some in awe, others in envy; it was enough to entertain casting Invisibility on myself. These people either thought I was some kind of hero or some kind of harbinger, and neither assumption was true. I'd simply stumbled upon a weird wall and been manipulated into exploring beyond. Anyone could have followed the same course I had. Anyone could have outsmarted Therimurk, and anyone could have fallen victim to him. None of them understood what really happened down there. Speculation and secondhand account would only provide so much truth, and I didn't have the energy to correct a city full of people. For now, I simply hoped that I wouldn't run into Fithi while I composed my new spells. We heard the telltale armored footsteps of a guard following us as we entered the long southern corridor. Nereved grated further on me by the day.
"Madison," Gwyl exclaimed as she hurried out of her office. "Sekvi, the See-ong-Weaver!" Her speedy self-correction came off as endearing.
"Hello Gwyl, wonderful to see you. You're looking well!"
"You're looking good, yourself! Very handsome, if you don't mind me saying so."
"My gratitude is ever offered for your aid." I blinked as my attention shot over to my friend. Gwyl was the person that aided their transition! Transmutation magic truly was a gift to people like us.
"Oh, you'll make me blush." The kobold cleared her throat. A glance paid to the room noted a handful of Transmuters in varying states of attention. Some were watching us with keen interest while the others were buried in their work. I quickly averted my eyes. "So, what brings you by?" That question had just come out of her mouth. Gwyl, who had addressed me with authority and confidence only a week ago, was speaking to me in a different manner entirely. One traumatic event had changed so much of my life... an echo that never quite decayed. The two of us were colleagues now.
"Madison here has spells to compose," Sekvi explained with a smile.
"Already?!"
"She has quite the gift, wouldn't you say?" I merely had ideas, experience, and insight that I wished to channel into my magic. To say that I had a gift felt far too generous for what I'd accomplished.
"Is the study open? I plan to be here for a while, and I apologize in advance for how much ink I'll blow through."
"Oh, sure, well, not for those purposes," Gwyl began. She led us back to her office, and then passed her door to the next one. "Your new office is."
"My what?"
"That's right! You're here, between Fithi and I. You've both been elevated to senior members for your contributions. It's about time; I've been the only senior Transmuter for years now." I could only blink as I looked into what was now my office. It was simple, featuring a comfortable chair with a high back and a resplendent wooden desk to my left, opposite a sizeable cabinet to my right. "Nice, isn't it?"
"Much like my own," Sekvi slyly observed while giving me an elbow. I had been caught staring in bewilderment.
"It's amazing. Th-, thank you."
"That's not all a senior membership grants you." Gwyl gave her hand a quick roll, a gesture I had seen Sekvi perform. A two-toned sash appeared in her hand. One half featured the same green as the one I currently wore, but the other half was a blazing white adorned with the nine black rings of Nereved's royal crest. I recognized similar credentials to my own, written in both Common and Draconic. 'Madison Cantrell - Senior Transmuter of Nereved Arcanist Conclave' was embossed in fine lettering upon a blue-green ombré badge. This sash was held out to me, and I exchanged it for the one I currently wore. I swallowed my distaste of so visibly wearing the royal crest. This was likely the king's doing. "Follow me, and I'll show you something else." Sekvi offered me a grin as we made our way through several longer hallways and up a set of stairs. Large double doors enclosed a room that hummed with magical energy.
"Ready?" Gwyl didn't wait for an answer, and instead gave a nod to nearby attendants that opened the doors for us. Inside was a gleaming room built of pristine white stone, decorated much as the castle high above. A vaulted dome rose from several weighty stone pillars. Upon the floor, however, was an amazing sight: a large, ornate magical circle filled with runic sigils that were themselves cut from shimmering black stone. "Now, you might not be able to use these yet, but these are Teleportation Circles, fixed points to which you can teleport once you have the power to do so. The circles make the process much more reliable. Oh, wait here." The head of the department hurried out of the room, presumably to retrieve some other reward for my non-accomplishment. A royal sash and an office hadn't done much to ease the burn of my trauma, but this... this was interesting to me.
"Stunning, no? This was my preferred mode of transport during my diplomacy days. I had a circle in my tower, as well..." Sekvi trailed into silence as they looked over the intricate stonework before them. "It was the material sum of my accomplishments, along with the tower, of course. To think that a simple farmer’s child could reach such heights."
"It's... almost as amazing as you are. Conjuration... oh, this is complex."
"Yes it is, and potentially perilous if one errs in their casting. A consistent design drastically reduces the chance of mishaps." This explanation checked out. I felt as if I was standing on the transporter platform aboard the Starship Enterprise. Every step of my boots echoed through the room as I walked along the circle. Sekvi grinned at me as they watched my gears turn. "Not to worry. At your rate of progress, I'm sure you could master the magic within the week," they joked.
"I don't know about that," I countered as I became absorbed in the enormity of the patterns below. "Even with my homeland's technological ability, this was an impossible dream. One small Misty Step for man..."
"You're a long way from home now."
"Not as long as I have you all." A sinking feeling accompanied this sentiment; I feared I may now have one less. Hurried footsteps announced Gwyl's return. A fine sheet of paper was held out to me as she approached.
"Open your tome," she instructed. I did so, and she slid the paper between two pages. It magically bonded to the tome's spine without causing any damage. Looking over the new page showed diagrams of three Teleportation Circles. "The first one is ours. The second will take you to the Syndicate of Alsakar, and the third leads to the Bjonsa Circle, in the allied nations of Alanuwa and Ygsild, respectively." I looked over the circles, studying each one with a keen eye. A surface level glance of similarity gave way to markedly different intricacies within each pattern. It was frankly stunning.
"This is amazing," I offered. "Thank you. I imagine there are security measures in place, though, right?"
"There are. If you do anything to upset any of these organizations or their governments, you'll be blacklisted from using their circles. If you try to teleport while blacklisted, you'll be sent right back with a nasty lump on your head."
"Good to know. Is there anything else?"
"Are you expecting more than royal-level privileges?"
"No, it's, there's just a lot, I thought it would never end." Gwyl and Sekvi shared a chuckle at my expense.
"I suppose it is rather overwhelming at first."
"I'd offer an application for the position of Royal Transmuter, but it looks like Fithi's already filled that spot." After our meeting in the castle, I wasn't surprised to learn that Fithi had been elevated to such a position. No good could come of that collaboration.
"That's great for her," I expressed in hope of concealing my worry over this news. "After everything she's been through, I'm glad she's getting such a windfall."
"So am I," Gwyl agreed with a nod of her head. "Well, duty calls. Let's head back." Sekvi and I followed Gwyl back to the Transmutation Department and reclused ourselves in my new office. I gathered six vials of magical ink and six vials of mundane ink, as well as a large stack of mundane paper. Finally, a small book spine and cover were sourced from the Conclave's stores. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be allowed to use all of these supplies if I weren't a senior member. Composition began after we gathered our materials. Sekvi's insights into Divination magic taught me various ways that it could be foiled, which was instrumental knowledge for composing Private Sanctum. We spoke for hours, revising various arcane principles until we distilled a final version of the spell. With work paper scattered over the floor of the office, we high fived over my open Spell Tome and sat back to enjoy our collaborative success.
"I think this will help keep us safe along with Tiny Hut. When I'm not casting Fabricate, I could place a Sanctum over the apartment so it benefits everyone. Shielding from Divination, imposing darkness, insulating against sound, negating magical travel to and from... even permanence in repetition! It does it all."
"I daresay it's impressive how much you borrow from other schools; the mark of a conscientious wizard indeed." Sekvi glanced around the room. "Would that we had some wine. I could use a break from such... what is the word you use?"
"Crunchy."
"Ah, yes, such crunchy work," they amended with a laugh.
"I'm gonna keep going," I sighed, tidying the area before I composed my next spell. "That took a long time, and we have more to do after this."
"I suppose I could warm the Padej family to our imminent presence in the meantime," Sekvi offered. "However, a clouded mind does detriment to one's work; I'll send for a meal."
"You're the best, Sekvi, thank you." Refreshing myself with a meal akin to hummus and falafel was a greater help than I'd anticipated. Only upon eating a late lunch did I realize how hungry I was. Fabricate was an interesting spell; I began extrapolating its effect from Mage Hand and branched into a transmutive essence from there. I found it much simpler than Private Sanctum had been, as this spell affected only one single outcome. Guilt pulsed through me as I opened yet another bottle of enchanted ink. I had been lucky to make just over one gold per day in Karthos Bend, which meant it would take me a month and a half of work to afford a single bottle of this ink if I were able to save every cent I made. Every cent... every copper. The smaller things in life were the most difficult to change, though Fabricate would be an effort to affect something larger. I hoped that the open-ended nature of this spell would lend itself to increasing its usefulness.
Sekvi returned with food and wine shortly before I finished transcribing my newest Transmutation spell. Upon its completion, I slumped down in my chair and slapped my desk with my palms. "It's done. How long have I been down here?"
"Ah, night has recently fallen.”
"We left so early! Are we too late to meet with the publisher?"
"I may have provided incentive for Padip to stay a few hours late," Sekvi confessed with a grin. "Come, a new spell begs trial!" I rose to my weary feet and set my mundane supplies atop my desk. A deep breath steadied my focus as I began casting. This endeavor would take a few minutes to complete, but I watched as flowing ink recreated my exact visual memories as I imagined them on their respective pages. I'd spent all day planning the layout of this comic book. While not stunning by Earth’s standards, each frame was an accurate grayscale recreation of the movie. Spaces for dialogue were left when necessary, and within ten minutes, I'd accounted for nearly every scene, interaction and landscape shot. Sekvi had to fetch more paper toward the end, but the book eventually bound itself together before our very eyes. My mouth hung open as I scanned the pages. It was all simply miraculous. I knew, in this moment, how I could atone for the morning’s error.
"So this is Star Wars!" Sekvi pored over the book while I assessed the amount of supplies we'd consumed to create it. We had paper left over, given the smaller size of the book, but it had taken two and a half inkwells to paint its story. "Astounding. Quick, let us begin translation." This effort took another two hours of our time, but once completed, the first printing of Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope lay on the desk before us. Fabricate's mercy was that it only required a steady trickle over the course of ten minutes, which lessened its total energetic burden upon me.
"I can't believe this worked. I thought it was just... silly, at first. Seeing it now feels huge."
"Let's hope the publisher enjoys it. I'd like to read it while we walk, if you don't mind!" I almost agreed until guilt got the better of me. As we finally left my office to recycle our empty bottles, I noticed a royal guard in the hallway outside. They were so brazen that they were following me into the Conclave now! Sekvi merely rolled their eyes as we passed the guard. Our conversation continued once we were out of earshot.
"I was hoping to give Betiara the first public look at it," I confessed. "She was asking questions about the movies on the ship, in Letvel... and after upsetting her this morning, I just hope giving her the first look will help smooth things over. I'm sorry, Sekvi." I half expected them to become upset with me, as well, but their dashing smile accompanied an exaggerated nod of their head.
"You passed the test, my friend. Congratulations!"
"You can't scare me like that! Oof. I mean, you helped me with all this instead of advancing your own goals; I want to share it with you now, but..." I paused as we passed the guard on the way out of the building. "...she's special to me, so I feel like I need to share this part of me with her to rebuild that bridge, you know?"
"I understand, Madison. If I'm being quite honest, the matter is likely not so terribly dire. Betiara and I cope with our emotions privately; leaving to affect that strategy may have caused the moment to feel starker than it really was." Sekvi gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder. I couldn't help but sigh.
"I hope you're right, and I hope I can smooth things over either way. She just wanted to be here with me... you-know-who wasn't even here. I feel like an idiot." Regret hung over my head like a spiteful rain cloud, but I knew it wouldn't do any good to mope. I had a plan to make things right. "You said the publisher's family is from overseas? Which way is that, and what's, over the seas?"
"Ah, yes! They hail from the kingdom of Rundata, one of four nations that constitute the West Furrows, as it's colloquially known. A war recently fractured these nations, but they remain loosely allied. Many, primarily from Cantice and Rundata, made the weeks-long journey in search of more peaceful environs." Sekvi met my amazement with a smirk. "Lilika's contact underground? He is from the Commonwealth of Arborea; the accent is very recognizable."
"This really is a whole world," I mused aloud. This fact shouldn't have surprised me, but knowing other continents existed made this world feel even more real. Wings could carry me to so many amazing places... I hoped to claim my own as soon as possible. "I was so caught up in the whole political intrigue thing, but now that you mention it, he sounded sort of Scottish?"
"I will take your word for it."
"Are there any, like, cultural differences I should be aware of when we meet with Padip?"
"I'm afraid I know little of such things," Sekvi admitted with a bashful chuckle. "I gather that Rundata is heavily mercantile, however. A favorable deal shall materialize between the three of us. Do you know how to haggle?"
"Mm, I hope so. Mennonite auctions are all over Southeast Pennsylvania. I know to start high and meet in the middle, and to throw a little spice into the mix to keep their attention."
"Oho, spice? You'll do well."
"I hope so. You're a lot better with people; I blew it with the rats, so I'm not feeling very conf-."
"You did not ‘blow it’ with the rats. You were put into your current position by forces you couldn't control; please avoid blaming yourself for such things, Madison." My face soured for a moment as I considered the multifaceted nature of my situation.
"I haven't done myself any favors." Sekvi sighed. I immediately felt as if I'd chosen the wrong way to approach the topic.
"It's not that I disagree with you... I notice a pattern in the way you internalize your experiences. You seem to blame yourself for misfortune until and unless you find a way to combat it." Our eyes met in contrast, despite my friend's assertion. "It concerns me."
"Is that not the safest way of going about it? It seems self-aggrandizing to assume I'm not doing harm when I easily could be without even realizing it." Silence followed my question as my position was considered. "I'm just used to being the one that's saying or doing something wrong. It happens completely out of the blue; I think everything’s fine, and it seems fine, but later it's retroactively not."
"Have you ever considered that problems lay outside of your doing?"
"I mean, yeah, but when everyone has a problem with me, who's the common denominator?"
"In this case, with the evidence presented, I believe they are." I was suddenly aware of how tired I was. My body had been near trembling the entire time we were underground. Sekvi's glowing presence had provided a very helpful distraction, but now that my attention was called to my existence, I couldn't help but consider their evaluation.
"I don't know what to think."
"I think you enjoy being here. The way you shimmer when composing spells, when speaking of stories you enjoy, how you play and laugh with us; it's all new to you, isn't it?"
"Very. I'm used to hiding, but being with you all feels safer."
"That person, that happy, safe person, is the unburdened self of Madison Cantrell." My gaze fell to my staff as my thumb traced along the burls. I saw my scales, my hand, and the way they moved. They were real. I was real. I existed, no matter how I felt about that fact.
"Can I be what I am and still be that person?"
"Where there is desire, there is solution," Sekvi gently asserted. "I taught myself that lesson some time ago, and you taught me anew in Karthos Bend. I learn that lesson every day." The enormity of this sentiment floored me. A child of farmers that grew to be a distinguished wizard would have extensive insight into the power of will. If the others were to be believed, I had it easy. I was an apparent prodigy of magic, and I wouldn't have discovered that fact if not for my friends' generosity. The truth was that my aptitude wouldn't have amounted to anything if I hadn't been lucky. Desire and solution rang through my mind, but not out of concern for myself. It was Sekvi's desire to make magic available that had given me success; I was merely the solution. I remembered how I'd furthered this will by teaching Setsen his first cantrip, an action I'd seen as course. Shaped by unconscious will, our goals were dreams we deluded into lucidity. Why else would we learn the same lesson time and time again?
Emerging into the cool night air made me feel so free. I was free from the confines of the Underground, free from misapprehensions about my experience, and free from the isolation I had suffered on Earth. The staff in my hand and the heights of Nereved felt so much larger than they had before. Time and time again, I was reminded of how far I'd come and how far I'd yet to go. Coastal wind buffeted against us as we ascended the heights of the city. Our destination came into sight as we crested the ramp to the Sixth Ring, Padeji Publications. The building we sought was wider than it was tall, obviously contrasting against the city’s usual construction. Its stone was painted a majestic purple that stood out against the pastel shades of surrounding buildings. I held the master copy of my stolen story to my chest as we approached. Sekvi gave the door a unique knock that reminded me of Shave and a Haircut, and several moments passed before a middle-aged human man opened the door. The rich tone of his skin suggested that he had indeed emigrated from elsewhere.
"Ah, Sekvi! And you must be Madison."
"Yes, that's me. We're here about this," I explained, indicating the book I held.
"We're anxious to begin," Sekvi explained, "as anxious as you are to end your work day."
"It's no trouble; I'll read while we walk." Padip's waiting hand accepted the book, and we entered the building together. A studious eye eclipsed any excitement he felt as he examined the pages. I gathered that Rundata experienced a warm climate, judging by the thickness of his clothes. "The illustrations are fine. I notice many humans as central characters, why is that?"
"Um, well, given the backdrop of colonial conflict, I didn't want the book to paint any one people with an assumptive brush." I was unfortunately getting better at lying; my explanation was accepted with a nod.
"The Empire is clearly the antagonist, so that is a wise choice. Mm, this will cost us much to reproduce."
"Only in materials," Sekvi offered as their hand gestured to me. "Madison here has a way to drastically reduce your production costs."
"Explain."
"Well, I have a spell that can arrange raw materials into a certain amount of product in the span of a few minutes," I began. This explanation quickly launched into canny negotiation. First came a battery of math to determine how many books I could produce with a single casting of Fabricate. The answer knocked the wind from my lungs: with the exact dimensions of the master copy, I could produce 42,000 copies in ten minutes! Materials per book would cost a staggering 30 gold and 3 silver, which immediately dashed my hopes for the venture, but Sekvi encouraged me to continue our talks in spite of the expensive, hand-crafted nature of these apparent luxury goods. The topic quickly diverted into profits and licensing; it was time to add my spice. Instead of a flat amount of gold per sale made, I explained that I'd prefer to receive a percentage of royalties from each sale. The way Padip's brows hiked at the suggestion seemed very promising to me.
I began negotiating at 18%, a gesture intended to show good faith without discounting my work. He countered with 5%. We compromised at 10%, which would effectively net me 4 gold per book at a sale price of 40 gold. If I created 42,000 books, each of which were sold, I stood to make 168,000 gold, which I could live on for more than a lifetime. He, however, stood to make far more at 1,512,000 gold per pressing. We decided that we would test the waters by producing 250 first edition books. This would make him 10,000 gold while I would make 1,000, which was a fantastic payment for ten minutes of work. I felt unease at the idea of making the rich richer both for myself and for Padip. A flimsy hope of redistribution and freedom to work for the benefit of others, both in contributing art to this world and any deeds in the meantime, was a balm to my conscience. No solution was perfect in this system, but I felt that I was doing better than I could have been. Sekvi helped me negotiate a flat price of 1,000 gold for purchase of the distribution rights. I already had a plan for this money.
"That went well," Sekvi observed as we left the building. "You're not a bad negotiator, in my extensively educated opinion." I looked over the book and clung to the meager hopes of providing some change for the better. Money was only a means to an end for me; the cause to which it would contribute mattered far more.
"Thank you. Still, I couldn't have done it without you. I feel like I've failed in some things recently, but I think I can make up for them."
"I have the utmost faith in you, my friend. That said, I would be willing to mediate the discussion with Betiara if that would be helpful."
"You've helped me so much today," I countered as gently as I could. "I caused this; I'm the one that should fix it." A relieved sigh met my choice, which brought me relief in turn.
"I suppose I could use some rest. Please promise me that you'll rest once your business is complete."
"I will, I'm pretty worn out."
"Such is life!"
"Such is life." We spoke of unimportant things on our way to the apartment, and we both found relaxation in doing so. The front door, however, gave me pause. Sekvi was eager to step inside, as they were a person that valued ripping a Band-Aid off in one smooth motion. I was more apprehensive as I followed them inside. Betiara was watching the stars from the balcony, obviously waiting for me to return home. Without a word, I stepped outside and offered her the very first example of The Cradle's newest fantasy story. Her mouth fell open as she discovered the foreword Sekvi had translated: "To the brightest star in the night sky, the wildest heart I've ever known, the bearer of my own: this story is for you." A halted breath coincided with her wild yellow eyes turning wet. We sat together and read the story that had long held her curiosity, cuddled closely in the chill of the night's breeze. Reactions from amusement to apprehension adorned her face as she read. Her adorable expressions always made me feel at ease.
"Wow," she sighed as she read the final page. "So this is Star Wars..."
"The first one," I offered in a gentle tone. "There are ten now, I think."
"But this is Episode 4."
"Oh, believe me, it's a whole thing. George Lucas filmed this part first because it was more likely to cultivate interest in the series. 4 was filmed first, then 5 and 6, then 1 through 3. I think Disney bought the rights and started making more of them."
"It sounds complicated."
"Oh, the movies are the simple part. There's an extensive catalog of lore books that I haven't read. It's been filling out since 1977, which is... it's been 47 years since this movie came out." I looked over the cover with a pensive expression. "Mark Hamill, who played Luke, is an old man now."
"I've been thinking about that," Betiara said, her tone suddenly dipping into a somber whisper.
"Getting older?"
"Yes. You're... probably going to outlive all of us by thousands of years. You know that, right?" I felt as if I'd been doused by a bucket of frigid water. Betiara's reaction to my refusal this morning now made crystalline sense.
"No... I'm so fucking sorry, Betiara."
"I know. I'm sorry for how I left. I just feel like... I want to experience everything I can with you. Our time together will be a blink eventually, so I want you to remember as much as you can when you're an ancient dragon, and I’m not here anymore." I had no words. My arms closed around her as I cried; it was the only response that I could conjure. A warm paw pulled me close and held me against my love. "I thought about it. We want the same thing; you thought I could have been in danger, so you want me to survive long enough to make more memories with me, right?"
"I don't want anything bad to happen to you ever."
"Well, that's impossible, but we'll do what we can, right?"
"Yeah." Thousands of years... for most of my life, I couldn't imagine living past 18. My 'parents' had said they would disown me and evict me once I was an adult, and homelessness as a transgender person was a death sentence. Now I had the opposite problem! Part of me hoped that Betiara was wrong about my life span. I didn't feel any desire to live for hundreds of years, let alone thousands. The world would change so much in that time, and so would Earth; was I to inevitably lose the world in which I'd found a reason to live? Would I eventually have to affect the close of my own life, whether on a high note or low? I would miss my love forever regardless of how our lives proceeded. Keff, Sekvi, Lilika, and Rags would eventually die before me, too. Nioto, Vaun, Rica, Padip and every person I would ever meet would suffer the same fate. If I were truly to live a dragon's life, I would have to bear the end of all but myself one day.
"Lilika told me that time doesn't mean anything," Betiara recounted. I savored the gentle movements of her fur against the top of my head. "That there isn't a past or a future, only everything existing all at once. 'The present's like a magnifying glass over the page of a book,' she said. I don't really know what that means, but I felt it."
"She's right," I replied, my throat tightened by grief, "but time still hurts." We were three-dimensional people living in a four-dimensional world, ants under the universe's magnifying glass as it watched itself burn. Life was the ultimate joke in that it had no inherent meaning. We were the ones that gave it meaning, and I had no true meaning in my life but my friends. One day I would be without that meaning. I didn't know what that would like or how that would feel, and I didn't want to. Making new friends could never replace the spectacular people I met in Karthos Bend.
"It means we have all the time in the world right now, though. We're young, so time feels small to us. What do you think we should do with it, love?"
"Just, that. Love. Together." I felt Betiara's throat muscles contract as she smiled.
"Together, then. I love you, Madison."
"I love you too Betiara. I'll need to, um, borrow the book for tomorrow, but it's yours to keep forever." We remained on the balcony until the moon crested the horizon. Inside, we found Lilika waiting for us. She had spent the day communing with the ocean along the northern shore, and achieved a breakthrough of her own. We filled her in on the events of our days, as well. I found out that Betiara had sat atop my perch to think for most of the day. This gesture was touching beyond my ability to comprehend. With goodnights mutually wished, Betiara and I left for the Nereved Temple of Lunata. Descending to the Second Ring took a toll on my already tired legs. We arrived to find an environment almost identical to the temple in Letvel; this one was larger and featured many more active individuals. Speaking to the healers found us reclusing to a smaller room in the basement of the temple, where a silent aarakocra and a wizened goblin worked their magic. Betiara stood beside me with a paw closed around my free hand.
"I read about your discovery in the Caverns," said the goblin, Brionus, as he checked my pulse at my wrist. "Are your nightmares related?"
"Yes."
"What do you see?"
"Nothing," I explained. "Therimurk was blind in life, and I think I'm experiencing his memories when I sleep. It's all dark, but I can feel and hear things. Emotions, sensations... it feels wrong, like it's not something that isn't me."
"I'm sorry."
"I think Fithi probably has it worse."
"Mm." Neither healer provided their opinion on the matter. "Erio, cast with me." The pair cast a spell that I recognized as Greater Restoration in flawless synchronicity. I felt soothing warmth rush over me as the simulated moonlight of the room bloomed overhead.
"Did it work?" Betiara looked to the healers with bated breath.
"No. We'll conduct a ritual to understand why. Erio?" The aarakocra, who I took to be Brionus' assistant, gathered incense, a decanter of shimmering water and a bowl in which to place these objects. Betiara and I waited patiently as the healers undertook magic that was clearly above my own ability. I was impressed by their adept casting. Each motion was informed by the elder's experiential precision and the purposeful chanting of the younger healer. All fell still and silent as the ritual was completed. The healers closed their eyes and raised their heads into the light to affect an unknown purpose. This lasted for a minute or so. Erio began to tidy the space while Brionus approached me with an explanation. "Your soul has been stained by Therimurk. This means... an aspect of your existence has been altered, if only slightly. We're not sure if this can be reversed. Have you felt different in any way since your experience?"
"I... I'm afraid of the dark now," I confessed. Being honest was likely a wise course of action. "I guess I've felt... traumatized, obviously, but a little more bold, I guess. Decisive. Numb, a little bit, in a way. I thought I was recovering from my life now that I have some say in it."
"Both may be true." My eyes fell as I looked over my hand. Rose gold scales, gently glinting in the light as colors diffused into a rainbow spectrum within their grain, reminded me that Therimurk hadn't been able to take everything. "In either case, you may feel a more driven version of your resistance to his influence. I understand that the scales of your colleague changed color, and that she lost her sight?"
"That's right."
"She was a more compatible host for the spirit. Discordant evil is Therimurk's apparent legacy, and though he's stained you both, you fought him very effectively with your force of will." Brionus adjusted his glasses, and his tone ascended with one of his eyebrows. "If his stain is manifesting in you, then you're using it well. Otherwise, the trauma of your experience is your only symptom, and your empowerment comes from successfully resisting his stain. In spite of your nightmares, which I am sorry for, your prognosis is otherwise good."
"That's good news, right, love?"
"It could definitely be worse," I confirmed. "Have you ever heard of someone un-staining themselves?"
"No. Enduring power like that won't leave you unscathed. Think of it... like a scar. You were hurt, but you are healing. Does that make sense?"
"I hope that's what's happening." I had a question to venture. The positive experience I had with Nioto and Betiara's presence gave me the courage I needed to speak. "The ritual you conducted, how does that work?"
"That's a secret of the church, I'm afraid." Brionus' eye was caught by a motion to my side; Betiara had procured her lunar lantern pendant. "Ah. The ritual begs insight from the goddess, and she decides whether to provide us answers. This time, she did."
"The gods are real?"
"I certainly hope so; our power has to come from somewhere," the goblin explained with a muted smile. "There aren't many clergy in the Conclave."
"I don't mean offense by asking you this," Betiara prefaced, "but do you think the other temple could fix her?"
"No. Believe me, if they could, they would hold that over our heads, too. Besides, Madison here doesn't need to be fixed."
"Well, no, but I was referring to the nightmares. What are they holding over your head?" I felt that I knew the answer to her question.
"Paladin Belot?"
"As always, yes, Paladin Belot."
"He was called in to deal with Therimurk," I explained to Betiara.
"Him?! Is he that strong?"
"He'll have help," Brionus assured us, already tiring of the subject. "In any case, I hope we were able to help in some way."
"Information is always helpful. At least I have an idea of what's going on with me now."
"I'm relieved to hear that. Good luck and goodnight to you both," Brionus offered as he took his leave. Erio followed, but stopped in the doorway to address us.
"I've been stained, too," he quietly offered as feathers bristled along his arms, "and it's not the end of anything; it's a new beginning. Best of luck." His words resonated within me, and I recalled Lilika's explanation of druidic philosophy. Something about this gesture made me feel a little better.
"Thank you, Erio, you too."
"Thanks. Goodnight."
"Goodnight," he replied, and disappeared upstairs. Betiara and I looked to each other without any notion of what to say. Our eyes said it all; we were worried, but we held mutual hope for the future. Success and failure mixed within my stomach as we returned to the apartment. I wondered who I would be in a hundred years, or a thousand, or even further. How I would feel, what I would look like, what I would have learned and what I would have done. It all felt so big despite knowing that even a dragon’s life would be speck in the span of time, so quickly forgotten like the one that had stained me. I found comfort in that thought, feeling as if so little would matter in the grand scheme of things, including my mistakes. The moon was high above us by this time of night. It was nearly full now, which told me that Betiara would likely have a wild period similar to the one she experienced on the boat.
"How are you feeling," she asked as if reading my mind.
"Tired. It's been a long day."
"Me too. Are you alright, though?"
"Weirdly, I think so? Like... you know, I'm just coping with the knowledge that gods apparently exist and that I'm going to live way longer than I have any right to. It's Tuesday."
"It's not," she observed with a chuckle. "There's a reason I didn't tell you about Lunata, but now I'm wondering if I should have."
"No, you made the right choice. Thank you for that."
"Sure. I'm sorry we couldn't fix your nightmares. Maybe they'll come up with something in time."
"Until then, I'll consider it up to me. There has to be something I can do." I took a moment to consider what I'd learned of magic and all of its many moving parts. Transmutation magic tickled the universal strings of possibility, and other magic had strengths, as well. If I couldn't force a solution, I could likely find a way around my problem. "I might have an idea, but I'll need to experiment more. What if I could use magic to effectively give myself lucid dreams? Peaceful dreams that I could control?"
"I've heard horrible stories of magic that can be used to control people," Betiara explained with a shiver of horror that I found to be contagious. "I'm sure if there's a way to do it only to yourself, you can find it."
"I hope so. ...is my ability really that much of an anomaly?"
"It took Sekvi decades of practice to reach a level that you're rapidly approaching," she insisted with a tone of urgency, "of course you are!"
"That... puts things into perspective." Was it simply natural aptitude that had propelled me upward? I wondered if it was safety and support that allowed me to ascend so quickly, or if it was the nature of being a dragon. The former likely informed the latter.
"I mean, you touched the Weave itself. Even I know that's considered an impossible thing."
"I guess I did, huh?” This was one too many realizations to endure in the span of a single day. I heaved a sigh and resigned to let my mind drift as we walked. The others held a constant presence in my mind, now more than ever. My time with them would ultimately be very short, no matter what happened in our future, and I would need to be as present as I could be for these moments. I wasn't going to exclude the others from my experience any longer. As foolish as I was, I felt that I was capable of learning from my mistakes; I didn't want to end my day by making the same mistake that had started it. Betiara and I walked arm in arm as we relished our moonlit path. We quickly found our way to bed, a welcome change from all the walking we had done today. My mind began to buzz with magical possibilities as my love's fluffy form lingered beyond closed eyes. I was relieved to know that I hadn't ruined our relationship. As I drifted off to sleep, I braced against coming nightmares with the aid of Arcane possibilities. Now more than ever, I had choices to make.