I awoke to starlight gently illuminating my right hand. It lay in front of me, atop my pillow, sinking in just slightly. I wondered how much sleep I had gotten, and a bleary view of the mountains gave me my answer: somewhere close to enough. If not, I would feel it later. Still, it felt too early for breakfast, so I resolved to wake myself up with consideration of my homework. The paper containing the notes I had taken last night was left upon my nightstand for just such an occasion. The lingering night sky provided me with more than enough light to see what I'd written. My shorthand could use some work; some of the details had been forgotten since the previous day. The fatigue that I felt from a near week full of hard work and existential crises may reveal what I'd forgotten once they let up, but until then I made due with the materials at hand. I first reviewed the sources of magical casting: Arcane, Divine, Esoterica, and Primal. None of the words jumped out at me. What connection did I have with any of these concepts? I once again wondered if I truly had a passion for magic, let alone the capacity for doing so, regardless of what Sekvi told me. I had to be willing, and I took this as a sign that I wasn't yet willing. They had been kind to me... I at least owed them due diligence.
My sleepy imagination was prodded into a more wakeful state by visualizing myself dressed in a robed version of my current outfit... the current outfit that was due a wash sometime soon. Even more pressing was the fact that I was due a wash as well; I had been in the Cradle for four days now, and had worked a full day shift during each one. The river was close by, so I could wash my local outfit there, but what would I wear in the meantime? My Earth clothes stood out too much and I was pressed to admit that they needed a wash as well. Moreover, how did dragonborn bathe? Hypotheticals came to mind as first I imagined myself sloughing off sodden molt in a river full of leeches, then fruitlessly wiggling a wallow into a distant bed of sand as a scorpion sneaked up on me, and finally using a very fine metal pick to spend an entire day scraping matter out from the under the slight overlap of my scales. I couldn't use water because water could get trapped under my scales and rot my skin! There was no sand nearby, and I reasoned that no reasonable person would spend that much time picking at each and every scale that covered a body as large as mine had become. What if there were no such tool available? I would have to use my beak, and I was not flexible enough to do something like that. My life was falling apart over the simple need to bathe. I had survived everything that had happened to me, everything I had learned, only to be stumped by bathing in a world so far from home. It had taken only five days for my infallible ability to fail to rear its ugly head. How was I supposed to be some cool, impressive caster of impossible magic if I couldn't even manage the basics of having a body?
This question threatened to push me into a pit of despair. I wanted to give up, but I had felt so good yesterday. This body was an unfamiliar challenge to me, and having any sort of body was inevitably to be a chore. Something within me loved it, though. My previous body had been unlovable, uncomfortable from day one. No one else had loved it, either. This one, similarly lacking my consent in being placed around me, felt... it was hard to put the feeling into words. It represented something akin to my wishes. I never had a wish to look like I did before, and even after transitioning I felt that I had previously divorced myself from my body too thoroughly to be reconcilable. This body felt as if I wanted to treat it so gently. It was inherently more feminine than my own, and it was shining and mild, yet powerful in aesthetic. Perhaps the thing I was most grateful for was that it was merely different. My meager spark of gratitude soon grew into a flame. It was in this moment that I made the decision to strive for the gentleness I felt this body deserved. First, I needed breakfast; thinking on an empty stomach was an exercise in futility. This was a primary building block on par with physical and nonphysical components of a spell. I had to build something for myself no matter how I felt about this requirement. No one else could do it for me.
An enormous fried vegetable dumpling was the solution to my hunger. It was the size of both of my fists together! The indulgent, comforting lump warmed my stomach and thus eased the anxiety of hunger. I was ready to give my homework another try. Arcane casting was first on the list. Magic sourced from the Weave seemed expansive in scope, chock full of possibility. I wondered what kind of magic I could or could not use with these four different sources. Arcane magic likely provided something closest to the very essence of magic itself, and I very much enjoyed that idea. I felt I could shape magic most freely this way. Divine magic was an easy rejection; I didn't like the idea of having to answer to a conscious power unnecessarily higher than myself that could veto a decision I made. Religion and I didn't exactly get along. I thanked Christianity for this decision and moved on to Esoterica. The idea of having pre-made building blocks built from various traditions was moderately appealing in that I would have access to established forms of magic that already worked. I knew it wouldn't be that straightforward, especially in the monotonous task of testing new combinations of ultimately limited components together, which felt like an unfortunate way to spend my uncertain time in this world. Collecting those components likely meant socializing, as well, which I sometimes found too stressful to be worthwhile in vocation. This left Primal magic, and I felt that I could trust this calming source. Nature was all around me at every turn, which meant I would have ready access to a source at any given moment. There was convenience in its power and media already being known to me. I worried, though, of how easy it would be to upset the fragile balance that nature required to build that power. It could easily get out of control if I didn't match that balance, but I supposed that could be true of all magic.
This review left Arcane magic as the easy choice. I felt a sense of apprehension at the thought of having to either borrow others' work or come up with novel spells entirely on my own. It was a higher emotional risk for a higher emotional reward, and I wasn't one to take risks. I found life to be too tremulous a balance to risk ultimate ruin being all my fault. Esoteric magic drew my attention once more, then Primal. Physical media would be easier to shape, but what about the power of imagination? Analysis paralysis was the name of my current state. I had to break this cycle if I was to get anywhere. To redirect my thoughts, I tried to imagine what Sekvi would say to me if I brought my concerns to them. They would tell me that I would find an answer if I kept thinking about the issue until I found something I could connect with, most likely. Of course they would say that, because that was the most reasonable answer for someone to give. I reached up to scratch my throat in thought, which felt surprisingly nice. More angles needed to be considered than my own point of view if I were to solve this conundrum. I looked at the practicalities outside of myself: when in doubt, I could plagiarize. There was a teacher that seemed very happy to facilitate my development; they could likely teach me enough spells to get started. Finally, if I were to succeed, I could enjoy the feeling of easily shaping my own, unique spells. I had been told that all the great arcanists had named spells after themselves. A playful visual entered my mind as Cantrell's Clever Cookery, a spell that would prepare meals for me while I sat and sipped high-dollar tea. That would give any dreadful day at Taco Bell a sprucing up.
I glanced out the window to see that the sun was beginning to rise over the mountains. It was time to go to work. I pocketed my notes and pre-paid for tonight's room before I left the warm embrace of the inn to brave the cold of morning. My breath was visible this morning, but Keff had mercifully gotten the forge running by the time I arrived. "Morning," I offered as I tied my apron over my dress.
"Morning. Cold one today."
"Absolutely." I placed my cloth pieces into my ears and retrieved my morning's work, grateful to bask over hot metal in this weather. "Is, is it Spring or Winter right now?"
"Spring, early." I thanked my lucky string that I had the promise of warmer weather on the horizon. Keff passed odd glances at me while I worked, as if he had something on his mind. Customers and hammers occupied our time for the next two hours. "So... call me curious," he prefaced with a leading disclaimer, "but you said you were human before?"
"That's right. Humans are the only, um, upright, people, on Earth."
"Sounds terrible." I could only shrug. To be fair, I had enjoyed seeing so many different races of people here. I questioned whether that was the right term, or if it would be species, or something else entirely. Keff graciously interrupted a coming spiral of anxiety. "Anyway, you don't seem too bothered by growing a tail, except when you forget it's there."
"I actually need to change that bandage soon, thank you for reminding me. Um, it's, I guess I'm coping with it."
"Bet it's scary."
"Yeah. But it's kind of cool, too. I'm shiny now, and taller."
"So you're okay?"
"I'm...?" Was I okay? It was my view that no one was ever truly okay in the life of an adult. Regrets and traumas collected themselves until I felt so weighed down that I may never move again. I supposed I was provided a luxury in many of those hurts being far away from me for the time being. "I don't know," I said quietly with a weight I failed to hide, "but it's nice to be something different. I mean, different than I was, and I guess different here, too." Keff's responding growl told me I had said something wrong, and I braced for conversational impact.
"You know you don't have to be special to be worth something, right?" The blow I expected never came; it was gentleness that knocked the wind out of me, instead. That was the kind of gentleness I needed to show myself. I was doing a terrible job at it. My stunned silence transitioned the hardened near-glare of Keff into a look of met expectation. "That's news, huh? I figured."
"How did you know?"
"You're so damn nervy, that's how. Like you think everyone's staring at every move. You're not in 'Taco Bell' anymore, are you?"
"Yeah, I know, and I didn't expect my entire life to be ripped out from under me because I fell asleep!" I realized my voice had gotten louder than I had meant it to. I immediately began withdrawing into myself in an effort to atone.
"Neither do I, and now I know that's a thing that can happen. ...break time. Sit here, let me tell you something." His tone was patient. I was wary, cautious, but I remembered the time he had put me into this state before. The touch on my arm, the one I had pulled away from out of reflex. I'd trusted Keff's patience once; in the worst case scenario, if this were to be the end of my job here, then it would be his doing, not mine. In the best... I'd be happy I trusted him. I sat down, my posture stiff while I tried to wrangle myself and maintain readiness simultaneously. "Dwarves live a long time, and I'm not gray yet, but I know enough to know you being nervy isn't someth-."
"Excuse me? I was looking for a sword a-"
"Come back in five minutes." The customer, an elf man, blinked at us in an awkward fashion before he wandered off. Keff was willing to prioritize me over a customer. My face softened as guilt took hold. "Being nervy isn't something you chose," he continued. "People aren't born scared. There's a lot for you to be scared about right now. When I call you nervy, I don't mean an insult. I mean it like... like people can see it. Not everyone will do good things with that."
"Why point it out? I know I'm scared."
"It's okay to not be okay, okay? Look at it this way: you said you feel better from looking different than you used to, right?"
"...I guess that's what I meant, yeah."
"Use that. Use that. Find a way to feel okay through feeling okay, alright?" Keff's approach suddenly made sense to me. He was using an indirect method through direct speech, which was confusing, but it became more helpful once explained. There was a lot more to Keff's simplicity than I'd thought.
"I don't know how to take care of scales."
"That's it," Keff announced, clapping his hands decisively. "I know you can't just go and ask someone on the street how to do that. There's a place called a library down Third that might have books; no shame necessary." He pointed the road out to me; it was on the left side of the inn, and ran to the North gate.
"But I can't read, Keff."
"Bilge water. I forgot, sorry. Sekvi and I can read, or you could take it to the temple and have them read it. They might have a book in their study, actually."
"No temples."
"Fine, there's other choices. Madison, you see what I'm telling you, right?"
"I'm worth something?"
"More than that. No magic spell will make you special; that's only you. I know we're getting deep here, and I'm not trying to..." He trailed off.
"I know."
"...you remind me of mother. She had a hard time moving to town with father, and a harder time feeling like she was worth something. She made herself sick with worry and it killed her. Someone had to sit me down just like this one day; if you were gonna be like her, you could have been like her on Earth." With his piece said, he sat back and slapped his hands to his thighs, staring at me until I managed to contextualize the weight of Keff's concern. He had been good to me. If only to ease his worry, I felt I could try a little harder.
"I'm not on Earth anymore," I affirmed, dizzied by how unfamiliar all of this was. Worth was measured by usefulness in my experience, but Keff, Sekvi and even Betiara had all shown me otherwise in their own ways. No magic spell will make me special... something clicked in my mind. It wasn't about the magic I would know, it was about how I would use it; not what, but how and why. I could try different things and see what worked; it was that simple. I wondered why that thought hadn't occurred to me over breakfast. "She was special, wasn't she?"
"More than she knew. Come on, there's customers before lunch." Our break concluded with a resumption of silence. Keff and I had an understanding. Three people had highlighted my worth, and I felt I could trust their judgment more than my own, for now. It would have to do until I could become self-sufficient in that regard. I was reminded to boil a rag for my tail after seeing to the elf that had returned before. My cut was healing well enough, but I did my best to keep the tip of my tail off the ground to avoid reversing my fortunes. It was easy to let it drag, and it felt relaxing to do so, but I supposed there was a price to beauty whether I paid it in makeup or in poise. Letting my tail sway may be its own source of comfort while reminding me that it existed. Over the next few hours of work, I tested my hypothesis and found it to be true; I had unlocked a new way to fidget. The traffic to the store drastically increased after we finished our shared lunch of a simple sandwich. Taco Bell had seen many an afternoon rush, and I felt I handled it well while Keff saw to steel. My pay for the day was far more than I was expecting: three gold coins and three silvers! "Rest day pay. You really handled that rush; what kind of work did you do at Taco Bell?"
"Thank you! I started in the kitchen and got manager a couple years in."
"Don't envy that. There's two days off for us while I order more materials and do taxes. Don't get into any trouble. Sekvi might have you over, or come see me if you want to." He turned to close up shop, but stopped to pass me a smirk before he disappeared for the night. "Don't forget to bathe; you smell like a dragonborn."
"Hahah, alright. I just wanted to s-" He was already inside. I stood, briefly debating knocking on the door so I could give him a more full show of my gratitude, but I decided that I could do that better by returning his investments in a different way. With a plan for that in mind, I now had to make a choice: chance the library, or go straight to Sekvi for another magic lesson. I decided that I would duck behind the smithy and make sure I didn't actually smell bad before making my choice. The experiment was inconclusive; I definitely didn't smell bad, but I had a scent, however mild. It was something between cumin and cayenne, mostly earthy, and my hands smelled strongly of woodsmoke, soot and metal. No longer having sweat glands felt like yet another blessing of this new body. I hoped that Keff was just teasing me, and that I wasn't able to be detected over the heat of the forge. I wasn't sure if I had the undefined time to investigate a new method of bathing tonight and departed for Sekvi's tower in hope that they would have a book in their vast study. The wizard received me immediately and requested that I share the progress I had made with my homework, sparing no detail whatsoever. My reluctance steadily faded as they passed no judgments and seemed to hang on every word of my recounting.
"You've progressed more quickly than I anticipated," Sekvi offered in praise, bouncing on their toes as they spoke. They gestured to the white board, which still contained the contents of the previous lesson. "I was hoping you'd decide to try Arcane magic first, as I can provide the most aid in that realm and, if I may, it seems like a very good fit for you. Sit, sit, let's begin! Now, out of these ten schools of magic, which nearly every spell of magic will fall under, has one of them provided you a feeling of interest or connection? There are no wrong answers!"
"Even if it's necromancy?"
"Even if it's necromancy."
"It's not what you cast, but how and why you cast it."
"Precisely. So?"
"Hmm." I looked over the different schools of magic with my earlier revelations in mind. Chronurgy and Graviturgy both seemed too risky in the same way Primal magic had, so I felt those were off the table. Abjuration magic seemed to be very helpful, though perhaps narrow... Enchantment seemed terribly unethical to me, Illusion felt too indirect, Necromancy was too much to keep track of, and Divination would probably leave me down rabbit holes of anxiety. This left Conjuration, Evocation and Transmutation. Conjuration offered an interesting combination of original theory and pre-made building blocks similar to Esoteric magic, Evocation was powerful, though mostly for offense, which didn't feel uniquely interesting to me, and Transmutation. I stared hard at what had been indicated as that word on the board in front of me. Transmutation involved change of state and matter. Sekvi had told me last night that if I had indeed brought myself to the Cradle, then that would fall under Conjuration, which would mean that I may have already used it. Transmutation, however, was something I had experienced. My entire body, my entire life was different. I wondered, in this moment, whether I found more value in the journey, or in the destination. That was a wrong question: did I enjoy being in the Cradle more, or inhabiting a physical existence that felt more comfortable? "So, Transmutation kind of... fits my conceptualization of my experience. It fits it really well. Everything has changed. Conjuration brings things to new places, but Transmutation encompasses possibility better, in my mind. The scope is wider and more open, and I'm trying to look at my experience in the same way. So, I think Transmutation speaks to me the most. I hope that makes sense."
"Oh..." I had never seen a more gleeful look on anyone. Sekvi pumped their fists into the air in a bout of celebration. "You're going to make a fantastic magic user, Madison. You already have the keen conceptual mind of a wizard. There are, well, other ways to cast magic but since yours isn't innate... do you know how to play any instruments?"
"Oh, um, thank you, that's good to hear." I felt my confidence rise just a little bit. "I sing sometimes, why?"
"How would you like that to be the centerpiece of your magical casting?" They cocked an eyebrow at me as if daring to say that I'd love the idea.
"I would like for it to not be that. Singing in front of people? Mmh, no, please."
"I can't carry a tune in a bucket, so I understand. That's great! That leaves pacts, which doesn't seem like your thing, and the richly individual and historically relevant methodology oooof," they paused, and produced a large, heavy, ornately covered book out of nowhere. "Spell Tomes. Go ahead, take it in. It's nice, right?" If Sekvi was one thing, they were enthusiastic. They had an infectious, bubbly way about them that made it easy for me to smile. I leaned in to take a look at their Spell Tome. Its cover was surprisingly simple, a gradient of deep blue at the bottom that faded into black at the top, with what I imagined to be an accurate depiction of the night sky's stars. I saw that the cover was made of a sturdy material that wasn't fabric in nature. Sekvi picked up the massive tone and held it before me as they slowly moved it in the air, which caused the night sky within to scroll to the side.
"That's... so beautiful. How did you do that?" I felt moved by the shared appreciation that Sekvi had of darkened skies and starlight.
"A year of intense study and some dabbling in Illusion magic. It shows the constellations' real positions on a particular night I'm very fond of," they explained, only too happy to do so. "This is why I asked you what felt right for you; magic is as much an art as it is a practical tool. It's not all Fireballs and Counterspells, sometimes the most effective spell is something that you can enjoy, maybe even share. To inspire as many people as possible." Their tome disappears with a circular wave of their hand. "Which is my goal. So, if you chose to specialize in Transmutation, what would your goal be?"
"Oh, that's, a good question." My only goal thus far had been to survive. Having any actual goals was not something I had ever felt the luxury of having. In lack of a concise answer, I decided to let my mind run idle while I spoke its inner thoughts. "I could change things, make things better, for myself and others. I could better understand the nature and composition of the world around me... and maybe make some sense of what I'm experiencing here. If I don't find the answer, I might find an answer."
"An artist and a scholar. Transmutation it is. See, that's what I was hoping for: you've found a question that will beg more questions. That will ensure an enriching path of learning for years to come." They pause, drawing their hands together with an understanding smile. "And even if this doesn't last that long, then you can continue back on Earth in your thoughts and memories."
"I appreciate that. I..." I brought my tail into my lap to wring it with both hands, accidentally squeezing the cut beneath my bandage. It made me wince. "...I'm trying to be open to different possibilities." Sekvi flashed a toothy smile, tusks and all, joyed by this news.
"Then we should get started. I'm going to give you some tools that you can use to create your first cantrip. Cantrips are simple little spells that can be used many times without costing yourself much energy to use." The wizard dramatically spun the chalkboard with a flourish, and picked the exact moment to stop upon the previously blank side. They had added more material overnight... much more. "Take notes, Madison! Most wizards begin their initial training by learning three of these cantrips. The pupil usually chooses cantrips to learn that sound useful to them, and you'll get to do the same, with the exception of one. I could not, in good conscience, sleep at night if I didn't do you the service of teaching you Prestidigitation. Before that, however, we need to cover spell components and how those combine to create a castable spell."
"Spell components, Prestigit-, uh, Prestidigitation. Three cantrips, got it." I took the best notes that I could without asking Sekvi to slow down. I was as excited as they were.
"It's a ridiculous name, I know, but very descriptive. So: V, S, M. Verbal, somatic, material: these are the three components you will use to compose your three cantrips. These are self-explanatory, but just in case..." Sekvi described these core concepts in staggering detail, far more than I felt necessary. It certainly showed what I knew, which was nothing. I was given a chance to recreate the verbal and somatic components necessary to cast my first spell. The complicated process was overwhelming for me. By the time had come to end the night's study, I felt mentally fatigued, but close arranging the components into an effective formula for casting. My teacher was proud of my progress and emphatically voiced as much when inviting me to join them in their study. "You're very close to getting it, it seriously took me a full day to get as far as you did in two hours when I first started out."
"You did?" I had decided to forego tea tonight in the interest of sleeping as soon as I finished my meal tonight. Sekvi, however, did not hesitate to gesture with their nearly full cup as if there were no possibility of spilling theirs. They were wrong.
"Oops, ah," They murmured, effortlessly casting the cantrip I was currently learning to clean the liquid from their robes. It was simply amazing to watch such a thing happen right in front of me. "I did, yeah! I wasn't as predisposed to magic at first. It was more put upon me and it took me some time to really appreciate it, but such is life in the forest." I wondered what kind of upbringing Sekvi had had; they spoke of learning magic as some children did of taking expensive piano lessons.
"Oh. Did you not enjoy it?"
"Not at first. Not until I realized I could use it to do so many things I never thought possible. I thought Prestidigitation and other staple spells to be little more than party tricks. My parents were farmers. They're retired now, with my help, and they have people to tend the farm for them, but before all that it was just the three of us." Their tone began to even out as they made eye contact with me. "It wasn't until a massive pack of volgs began attacking us and our crops that I learned that a quick Shield spell can be the difference between life and death. I was going through the motions at that point, studying others' work and not bothering to create my own, and that changed things. It showed me the difference I could come to make if I tried hard enough."
"I've... been worried about finding myself in that same situation, honestly. I'm glad you all ended up in a better position." I felt unsure of what to say in response to Sekvi's very stark lesson, a radical departure from their usual fare. "What's a volg?"
"Big, angry predatory monsters with teeth that can eviscerate you in a second. They're keen hunters, smart enough to have their own primitive language. They're very easy to underestimate based on appearance." They took a sip of their tea. "I don't know what Earth is like, but the wilds are dangerous here. Don't ever go out alone, please; the guards wear that armor for a reason." I was glad that I had no plans to leave town any time soon.
"Okay. Thank you for the warning. I'll make sure I learn some spells for self-defense, if I get that far."
"The mark of a responsible wizard," Sekvi asserted with a smile. They turned their chair to the side to look over their various wizardly keepings stored atop a multitude of shelves. "Ever since you arrived and told me of your arrival, I haven't been able to keep my mind off of the other planes. I think, with some preparation, I may go on a little exploration some day soon. And I'd like you and Keff to join me."
"Me? I, I feel like I have a lot to learn before I could do that. I'm already struggling to adapt to all this." I felt a lump start to form in my throat; I didn't want to refuse Sekvi's offer, only to illustrate to them that it may be some time before I'm ready to join them on such an excursion.
"Oh, we won't be casually strolling into the Plane of Fire. This would be several levels into your study at the very least, and to a safer sort of place. It's just a long-term goal I'm keeping on the back burner for now, that's all." They glanced to me with a smile, but their face fell into concern moments later. I felt that they could easily see that my confession was deeper than I had meant it to be. "What are you struggling with?" Humiliation burned through me. Keff was a very grounded, worldly sort of person, and his casual way of things made him feel very approachable. Sekvi was a wizard, and one of some accomplishment. To ask such a basic question to someone of their extensive mind felt... like I was feeling insecure, and afraid of rejection coming from someone that had not shown me rejection a single time.
"My emotions, to a degree, I guess. I've been all over the place, but I can figure that out myself. I do need your help with something important, though. Something I'm, kind of, ashamed of."
"In your situation, that's absolutely to be expected. I won't judge, Madison."
"I don't know how to bathe myself now that I have these scales. I was hoping you had something in your library that could help."
"Oh, is that all?" Sekvi turned their chair to face me once again and shook their head with a smile. "I thought it was going to be something much worse. I've been to bath houses with dragonborn before; a firm sponge and warm water -- not hot water, warm water -- will do the trick. You do not need soap unless you have unwanted oils on you, since you don't produce any yourself. If you can smell yourself, you're smelling the material that comprises your scales. You won't have much of a scent at all until things like dirt or soot or water get underneath and react and compound with the material. Dragonborn use very thick, fluffy towels to dry off very well, and some swear by scale wax but others say it's opportunistic nonsense. If you don't scrub on a regular basis you'll start to molt and I hear that's a very itchy process. File your claws as you wish... oh, and, depending on the individual, you may find it helpful to oil your horns after you've dried from your bath. Scented horn oils are how dragonborn wear scents!"
"That's, perfect and very helpful! Thank you! I've, been going to pieces over this today so, I will see to this tomorrow." Relief felt like a very weak word in the wake of Sekvi's exhaustive explanation. My apology was delivered without stifling my cathartic deflation; they had made it seem like I had a very easy body to care for. Part of me missed my long, sweeping hair, but the rest of me felt so very metal with elegant tubes of bone sticking out of my head. I made sure to take very diligent notes on a spare sheet of paper. "By the way, um, I have the next two days off. Do you have plans at all, or do we resume three days from now?"
"Tomorrow I'll be on a diplomatic mission for the mayor," They explained, retrieving a pendant from their desk that was identical to the one I was wearing. "Buying these in batch discount during my trip to Nereved was so fortuitous, I can't even tell you; they are absolutely critical to my work. But the day after we can begin a gauntlet lesson at midday!"
"That sounds great, thank you, good luck on your mission tomorrow. Diplomacy is, fragile."
"It is very much that," Sekvi sighed, stowing their pendant once more, "but I'm sociable and I'm good at my job. I look forward to seeing your progress! Do you have adequate arrangements at the inn?"
"They're good, yeah. A gold a night is a little expensive but it's usually nice and quiet. The food is good, too."
"That is a bit tight on your pay, isn't it? I assume Keff gave you rest pay?"
"Yes, he did."
"He's a good man. Madison, if you follow the path of the wizard, it's going to be very expensive. I will put that to you outright."
"Oh..." I worried that that was the death knell of my studies. Even this world couldn't escape the evils of money.
"But... your travel here interests me, and you're a promising student." Sekvi stands, holding their tea cup with both hands as they drum on the side of the vessel with their lightly clawed fingertips. Their eyes stared into mine with resolute honesty. "I get something out of this, too. You're an anomaly of possibility. Your appearance is something almost unheard of, and a chance to understand what you've been through and the process of your integration into the Cradle is something that comes along once in centuries, if not longer. I tell you this because I hope it will help you feel less anxious when I tell you that I can arrange housing for you in my tower, for free, and will at least help you pay for some of your expenses. Once you become capable enough to outspend my earnings, you'll be able to support yourself without issue. Keff and I can cover you until then. Rest, practice Prestidigitation, and think about that for me. That's your homework, alright?"
I did my best to match Sekvi's intensity without wilting under it, but in spite of their honesty and metered approach, I grew more and more astonished to hear that my studies could continue. Now that I felt a reason for doing so, I wanted to learn. Casting a simple cantrip could bring insights into my experience alone, let alone casting three or more of them. A cascading effect of understanding was likely far off from this point in time, but I couldn't imagine having anything better to do, or refusing this opportunity so generously presented to me. At the same time, I appreciated and respected Sekvi, and wanted to make sure that I had some respect of myself, as well. "I will, do that homework. Thank you, Sekvi. I can't... begin to put your generosity into words. Before we make anything final, I think we should maybe talk about what you'd want to study of me and what I might not want to share. There are some things that... I'd prefer to... never revisit."
"We won't have to go into anything like that unless you feel it's necessary. No one will take advantage of you with our friends a stone's throw away, and there is always Keff," Sevki illustrated with an exaggerated pantomime of a gigantic, two-handed weapon swinging through the air. "Woosh, ahaha! Well, our lesson concludes! It's time for a certain half-orc to prepare a certain full dinner and have a certain full night's sleep before their big day tomorrow. Rest well tonight, Madison, and make sure you practice diligently. Goodnight!"
"Goodnight, teacher," I replied. Sevki certainly had a way with people. I packed my three pages of notes into my pocket and braved the cold for the promise of hot food and a warm bed. Thoughts of living within a wizard's tower as a student after I had thought my schooling done with was quite a prospect, and I needed to be prepared if this were to become a possibility, but I had more immediate plans to make. I needed a bath, I needed some kind of bag or purse, and I needed a second outfit. Being able to wear something while washing this one and having something to rotate would be a godsend. I had enough money for another outfit, which meant that was my first order of business for tomorrow. Dinner tonight was another sandwich with a side of grilled vegetables. I ate in my room so I could more quickly resume my work on Prestidigitation while it was still fresh in my mind. I got a little further before I felt too tired to continue. My days away from the forge were going to be spent as gently as possible alongside my study. I weighed the risk of bathing in the river against the potential cost of a bath wherever else I could find one. In light of my dress needing a wash, I changed into my pajamas and settled into bed with a heavy sigh. It felt so unfair for me to be given so much help when all I had done to deserve it was be ripped from my life and placed into a new one. It wasn't what you knew, but who you knew, after all. I had gotten so very lucky. How many others out there with apparent magical aptitude never got the chance to study under someone like Sekvi? How many people that needed a steady job didn't meet someone as stubbornly caring as Keff? How many people that needed an escape from Earth got the chance, let alone the few that would survive that chance if they got it? I felt like a cosmic accident propped up by paper-thin chance. The least I could do was to do my best for those that never got these chances. I felt so wrong for feeling so upset when things were going so well. It was unfamiliar and scary and part of me just wanted to go home where I felt right for being miserable. I cried myself to sleep tonight as I did my best to grapple with the depths of my deserving so much less.